“What I remember is Marlee telling her to wipe it off,” he said, his spirits rising.
“And you taught Ahren and Kaden how to handle a saber. Kaden recently suggested a duel, and the first thing I thought of was how he would have won hands down thanks to you.”
General Leger watched me. “I treasure those memories. I do. I’d defend all of you to my last breath. Even if I wasn’t essentially paid to.”
I giggled. “I know. Which is why there’s no one else I’d trust with my life.” I reached out for his hand. “Please take the day off. No one’s going to invade today, and if they do, I’ll call you,” I added quickly when I could see he was going to protest. “Go spend time with Miss Lucy. Remind her of every good thing you’ve been to each other, and remind her of everything you’ve been to us. I know it’s not a reasonable substitute, but do it all the same.”
“I haven’t found the glasses yet.”
“I’m sure he’s left them in the parlor. I’ll take care of it. You go.”
He gripped my hand one last time before letting it go and dropping into a bow. “Yes, Your Highness.”
I watched him leave, leaning against the desk as I considered the general and Miss Lucy and their life together. They’d faced so much sadness, so much disappointment, and yet he still showed up every day, ready to serve. So did Miss Lucy. It was a strange thing to measure them beside my parents, whose lives had seemed to fall into place perfectly.
I was surrounded by examples of how love, real love, could make you less bothered by your circumstances, whether it was facing the greatest disappointment of your life or shouldering the weight of a country. And suddenly, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember why I’d been so afraid of it.
I mentally thumbed through my list of suitors. Kile’s sweetness, Fox’s enthusiasm, Henri’s joy . . . these were all things that drew me in. But, beyond that, was there something beautiful and lasting?
I still didn’t know. But finding out no longer looked so frightening.
I shook the thought away for the moment and headed into the parlor. Sure enough, Dad’s glasses were sitting, unfolded and upside down, on a pile of books. I carried them toward his room, still wondering about the future. In an effort to keep from waking Mom, in case she was sleeping, I knocked on the door to his personal study.
“Yes?” he called.
I walked in to find Dad at his desk, squinting at some papers.
“I found these,” I said, holding up his glasses and wiggling them between my fingers.
“Ah! You’re a lifesaver. Where’s Aspen?” he asked, happily taking the glasses and popping them on his face.
“I told him to take the day off. He seemed a little down.”
Dad’s head snapped up. “Was he? I didn’t notice.”
“Yes. He, and I think maybe Miss Lucy, are having a bad day.”
At the mention of her name, he seemed to understand.
“Well, now I feel awful for not saying something.” He leaned back in his chair and rubbed at his temple.
“Have you been sleeping much?” I asked, fiddling with a paperweight.
He smiled. “I’m trying, honey, really. But if your mom makes so much as a peep, I’m instantly awake, and I end up watching her for an hour before I’m calm enough to sleep again. That heart attack sneaked up on us. If anything, I’d have expected for something to happen to me.”
I nodded. So many times recently I’d found myself watching him, wondering if he was okay. But Mom? She blindsided us all.
“Your mom keeps talking about going on the Report tomorrow like it’s some sign of things getting back to normal. As if, since she can do that, I should go back to work. And I know the second I go back to work, she will, too. I’m not saying I want her to sit around and twiddle her thumbs, but the thought of her going back to being the queen, all day, every day . . . I don’t know how to take it.”
He rubbed his eyes and gave me a humorless smile. “And the truth is, it’s been nice to pause, take a breath. I don’t think I realized how hard I’d been running until I had to stop.” He looked up at me. “I can’t remember the last time I had ten undisturbed hours with my wife. She’s got these pretty little laugh lines by her eyes.”
I smiled. “Well, you tell a lot of horrible jokes, Dad.”
He nodded. “What can I say? I’m a man of many talents. But that’s almost as hard to take: when she goes back to being queen, I need to go back to being king. And I don’t know when I’ll get another week like this, where it’s just her and me.”
“So, what if she didn’t?”
He squinted. “What do you mean?”
“Well . . .” It had been circulating in my head since the town hall meeting yesterday. I’d probably never be able to help all my people, but I could reach a few. That thought thrilled me more than I imagined possible. And, at the very least, I could help my parents, which recently started feeling like a monumental accomplishment. Still, as the words came out, I knew they were pure insanity. “What if she wasn’t queen anymore? What if I was?”
Dad stilled, staring at me in disbelief.
“I don’t mean it as an insult,” I stammered. “I know you’re fully able to lead . . . but you’re right. Mom’s going to want to go back to the complete role of being a queen. If I was queen, she’d have to do something else.”
His eyes widened as if he hadn’t considered this option.
“And if she wasn’t queen and you weren’t king, and this time it happened to be while she wasn’t recovering from a heart attack, maybe you could do more than sit around. Maybe you could travel or something.”
He blinked, astonished at the possibility.
“We could do it this week even. I can have a coronation dress made, Lady Brice and Neena can organize everything, and you know General Leger would make sure the entire event was safe. You wouldn’t have to worry about a thing.”
He swallowed, looking away. “Please, Dad, I don’t mean it as an insult. I—”
He held up a hand, and I silenced myself, stunned to see tears in his eyes when he turned back to me. “I’m not insulted,” he answered gruffly before clearing his throat. “I’m just so proud of you.”
I smiled. “So . . . you’ll let me ascend?”
“You’ll have a difficult time,” he said seriously. “The people are restless.”
“I know. I’m not scared. Well, not that scared.”
We shared a laugh. “You’ll be wonderful.”
I shrugged. “I’m no you. And I’m definitely no Mom. But I can do this. I have help, and I’ll still have the both of you. And between all of us, I’ll probably come out looking like a decent queen.”
He shook his head. “You are more than decent, Eadlyn. Maybe I haven’t told you enough, but you’re an extraordinary young woman. Bright and funny and capable. What a privilege it will be to be your subject.” His words were so genuine that I found myself blinking back tears.
I didn’t realize how much his opinion of my actions mattered until that moment. I should have, though, considering how many steps I’d taken at his suggestion. It meant the world that he approved of ones I was taking on my own.
He took a deep breath. “Okay, then.” Standing, he walked around the table and slid his signet ring off his ring finger and onto the middle finger of my hand. His eyes, the clearest I’d seen them in days, stared deeply into mine. “That looks rather nice on you.”
I tilted my head. “Nearly everything does.”
CHAPTER 16
WHEN MOM WALKED INTO THE studio on Friday evening, the entire room broke out in applause. She lifted her hand in a wave, acknowledging the support as Dad walked so close beside her you couldn’t see a speck of light between them. She had a tiny limp from where the doctors had removed the vein from her leg, but she was so graceful, you really had to look to see it. She’d chosen a dress with a high neckline, and I could tell by the way she kept touching it that she was anxious about her scar.
“You look wonderful,” I said, stepping in stride with her and Dad, trying to distract her.
“Thank you. So do you.”
“How are you feeling, Dad?” I leaned around her, trying to gauge his emotions.
He tilted his head from side to side. “Part relieved, part nervous. Not about you—you’ll do fine. I’m just concerned about the reaction.”
I noted that he looked a bit more rested, and I could tell that seeing Mom all dressed up lifted his spirits.
“Me, too. But we knew this day would come sooner or later. I’d rather do it now and help when it’s most useful.”
Mom let out a wistful sigh. “Finally out of the spotlight and into the background,” she said. “I’ve missed it there.”
“People will still watch, my dear,” Dad said. “Just try to keep your chin up tonight, and I’ll be right beside you if you need me.”
“So, same as always?”
He smiled. “Same as always.”