"Yeah, a lot of it's making me uncomfortable." He slid his hands in his back pockets like he had when studying the violet wands, only now he was studying the selection of wheelbarrows Logan had lined up on display out front. He stood that way a long moment. Anyone else she'd have prompted with more questions, but she knew Chris's cadence. He'd think it through before he spoke, and you had to give him a few extra seconds to do it. Not because he was slow, but because he believed in being honest and thorough. As a result, often his response would have weight and impact far beyond what was expected. This time was no exception.
"You know how many times I've thought about coming into your room at night, Sam?" he said at last. He kept his eyes on the wheelbarrows. "Getting into your bed and putting my hands on you. Wrapping my hands in your hair, tasting every inch of your skin. Burying my face between your legs until you came with those little bird cries, your body trembling . . ."
It was a good thing no one else was out sidewalk shopping, but she wasn't sure she would have noticed them if they were. She was frozen, staring at him.
"At first, it was every once in a while, harmless fantasy. Then you went on the first date you've had since Anthony. That sign that you were ready to start being with someone again flipped a switch. Ever since, the more time I've spent around you, the more I think about it."
He turned his brown eyes to her then, darker than usual in the shade of the striped store awning. "Now I think about it every night. Usually right before I tap out 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' on your wall. So no, I don't feel like I have to do anything. I don't want to go back."
"What stopped you from acting on it? When that switch flipped, I mean." Her skin felt stretched tight over her bones, the sunshine making her aware of every inch of it. From here forward, when he tapped that good-night ritual on her wall, she'd be thinking of the words he'd just spoken.
"Same reason it took you a while, and Geoff. Three isn't the usual thing, is it? We didn't say it to each other, though we were both thinking it. But for that to happen, you had to be on board before either of us. I didn't know that had happened, until you took us to Naughty Bits. Then, you know, it takes me a while to move forward, even with the green light. I think it through from all angles. But coming home and finding you and Geoff pretty much expedited that, big-time."
As he turned to contemplate the wheelbarrows again, she had to bite back another apology. Chris had something specific on his mind. She waited.
"Geoff has a dinner meeting with clients tonight," he said slowly. "We're going to do the picnic in the park. After that, we'll go home and he'll get his shower, head out for that. Then he wants me to take you to bed again. Which is good, because that's what I planned to do."
"Oh." Her mouth was dry. "You worked this out, the both of you?"
"Yep. But there are a couple of things you need to realize, too." He turned to face her. "Geoff said to make sure I was looking at you when I say this, so you understand we both mean it. He didn't need to tell me that, but he's a control freak, like you. On different sides of the fence."
A wry twist of his lips. She had to bite her own to keep from saying anything, which would only prove his point. Her heart thudded at his steady look.
"Rule number one. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You got it? You don't want to do something, that's not going to change a thing for either of us. But you do something you don't want to do just so you feel like we're happy, that won't make us happy. Geoff will be ticked, and I'll just be plain pissed. We're not mind readers, Sam. Don't let us hurt you, because neither of us can imagine anything worse in the whole world than living with the guilt of that. Got it?"
"Got it. I felt that way . . . when you walked in on me and Geoff. It was the worst feeling I've ever felt."
Her voice came out as a whisper, which tightened his jaw, made him step closer. She had to tilt her head to look up into his face. He wasn't touching her, but she was starting to tremble as if he was. He was saying these intimate, important things out in bright sunshine, on a public sidewalk, but none of that mattered. It was just them in the whole world.
"Okay," he said. "Rule number two. You do what we tell you to do. Unless rule one applies."
She'd have expected Geoff to say such a thing. The jolt of hearing it from Chris, seeing him say it because he felt it, meant it, was a shock to the system.
Chris handled what needed to be handled, not by issuing orders and commanding men, but by taking care of it himself, one-on-one, whether it was a force of nature or one of Esteban's customers. He was like Hercules or Atlas, whereas Geoff was Caesar or Captain America. The unique way each took control weakened her knees. It was a new revelation, a good one.
"Final point," he continued. "Being uncomfortable isn't a bad thing. We like it when you're this kind of uncomfortable. Where your heart gets to racing, and you breathe funny, and your eyes get a look in them like you can't really focus on anything but what we're telling you."
A woman had come out of the store and was browsing the bedding plants. Chris leaned in, spoke quietly. "It's making you wet, me talking to you like this, isn't it?"
When she gave him a look of helpless agreement, he put his lips on her cheek, his arm sliding around her waist to bend her like a reed against him as his voice became a husky whisper. "When you get aroused, your brain gets all scattered, but you don't fight it. I like that, because it says you
trust us."
She swiped a tongue over her lips and made a little noise as he followed the movement with his own mouth, taking his fill of her lips before he lifted his head and drew back, tucking his hands in his back pockets again. He didn't move back, though, and she was tempted to spread her fingers out like wings on his chest, feel the man beneath the cloth.
Instead, she kept her hands still, not trusting herself. "So . . . you said Geoff suggested you tell me this?"
"Yeah. He said you weren't going to relax until you had half an idea of my mind on it. Else you'd think I was being tugged along like a dog going into the vet's office."
She blinked. "I never . . . I just . . ."
"I know what you were worried about, because you worry about us, always. Me specifically, in ways you don't worry about Geoff." He slid his arm around her again. His gaze on her face, he spread out his fingers, taking a firm grip on her ass in front of the whole world. She didn't dare look over her shoulder at the other shoppers. There were three women browsing the sidewalk displays now, because she could hear their muted comfortable chatter.
"Chris."
He gave her an immovable look. "I appreciate you caring about me, but when it comes to this, you're going to stop worrying. And you're going to tell me you understand and agree, right now, or I'll turn this public display of affection into something even more blatant."
When she struggled with what she could say to that, his hand shifted as if he intended to slide all the way under her ass to cup her between her legs. She put her hands on his chest and pushed, her glare mixed with a half-exasperated smile.