But surely—surely he would understand once she told him what she’d been struggling with.
I’ll give him a few hours to cool off and then try again, she told herself.
r /> But as it turned out, she did not get the chance to try again. That evening when she returned home, she went to the basement to talk to him … and saw that he had cleared out his backpack and few belongings.
When she rang his cell phone it just kept going to voice mail.
Still, she told herself. Christopher was reasonable. He had to know something was amiss. She knew it was anger and betrayal controlling him and would soon calm down.
She looked for him everywhere, to no avail. She knew that he was avoiding her and she resigned herself to not seeing him that night.
The day dragged on and when she welcomed the kids home that night, Christopher’s absence was obvious.
“Where’s Uncle Chris?” Jeremiah asked at the dinner table.
Raina looked at the three pairs of eyes waiting on her to give them an explanation. This was exactly what she had wanted to avoid.
She had introduced Christopher into their lives, and they had grown attached to him, and now he was gone. Pain pierced her heart and she missed him with an intensity that left her drained.
And something else—anger stirred in her heart. Anger that he had pushed her aside, yes, but more that he had pushed the kids aside too. Knowing what they had been through, knowing their loss—how could he leave without saying a word to them?
But she could not even sustain the fleeting anger she felt at the children’s disappointment. She had to hold on to some hope that he would return to her and to them, that they would be able to put this misunderstanding behind them.
Perhaps he had decided to get his own place now and that they needed some space. Raina could handle space, what she couldn’t handle was losing Christopher just when they had found each other.
The worst bit of it was that it wasn’t her fault. Bloody Roger! He had to go on and spoil everything good in her life. Her mouth tasted bitter and she knew that her eyes were sparkling with unshed tears. Raina swallowed hard and plastered a smile on her face. Self-pity was not a part of her and she now shook off the despondency that had descended on her.
“He’s gone on a short trip, that’s all.” Raina lied.
“Did he die, like mama and papa? They went on a trip, and then they died.” Jeremiah asked. Raina closed her eyes and no matter how much she tried, she could not hold back the tears.
“No. No, he’s not dead, sweetie. Just on a trip.” Raina tried to keep her voice calm and upbeat.
“Then what is it Aunty?” Chantal asked in that solemn voice she used, more mature than her age. “Are you thinking of mama and papa?” Raina nodded and wiped off the tears in her eyes blinding her.
“I miss them too, but I know they are always with us. Isn’t that what you said?” Chantal said.
Had she said that? She nodded. It was a comforting thought to know that her sister and her husband watched over them all the time.
“I got used to it now,” Crystal said, flicking her long curly hair back. “I miss them so much but I also like living here with you Aunty, and with Uncle Chris too.”
At the reminder of Christopher, Raina felt a wave of fresh tears but this time she fought them off. “I’m glad you’re happy. That’s all I want for you and it’s what your mama and papa would have wanted.” Raina sniffed.
The children went to bed soon after dinner, and after clearing up the dishes, Raina went to the hallway to check the mail. She took the bunch with a deep sigh, knowing that more bills likely awaited her. Still, it was her life, and she had to deal with it, not run away from it.
She sat on the living room sofa, her mood pensive. She set down the cup of coffee she had just poured herself, and glanced at it. It was now a painful reminder of the cups of coffee she and Christopher had shared over many evenings.
She missed him. She was worried about him.
Raina had called the shelter to see if he might have gone back there, but the staff had not seen anyone by that description.
Still, she thought, squaring her shoulders as she wrapped a soft knit, white cardigan around herself, it was time to take control of her life.
First things first. She needed a new job. She needed a new job like—yesterday.
Ugh. She glanced at her watch. She knew that Roger was in some seedy hotel room someplace waiting for her to show up. She shuddered at the thought. If she hadn’t needed a new job before, there was no doubt she would need one after tonight.
And second things second. She would also need to speak to her financing company about the mortgage payments. There had to be some way to work out a payment plan of some sort to get herself back on track until the house in Arizona sold. Refusing to respond to their queries was not helping her situation in any way.