Colin’s hands roamed the contours of her body as they kissed. Against his lips, almost inaudible, she moaned and then arched underneath him.
Every part of her that he caressed responded to his touch. Every kiss he gave her was met with equal passion. Every move he made, her hands reciprocated.
Sabela wasn’t shy, and he admired that about her. He, however, had to be the one in control.
He tugged at Sabela’s silky top, and soon had it over her head and tossed aside. He sucked in his breath at what he saw.
Sabela wasn’t wearing a bra. His rigid cock somehow got even harder. At the sight of her stiffened nipples, his cock twitched.
Both of them sunk down upon the couch, and Colin savored the feeling of her slender form against the hardness of his chest. He kissed her harder now, and Sabela gasped to keep up.
He knew she was as swept up in the moment as he was.
The kiss broke, both of them gasping for breath, but Colin didn’t stay immobile for long. Even before his lungs stopped burning from how breathless she’d left him, he moved down her body and claimed one of her hardened nipples between his lips.
Lips firm, tongue darting, he lavished one nipple with attention before turning to the other. Without his lips on hers to interfere, Sabela’s moans grew louder. She arched her back against him, desperate for more.
Colin found himself just as desperate, and it was only as he looked up at her face that he felt himself start to come back to his senses.
Sabela’s mouth was slightly open, her lips plump and swollen from his hard, insistent kisses. Her skin glowed in the light from the fire. Her eyes were closed, and it was obvious she was lost in the moment.
How could one woman be so gorgeous while raw with desire?
Something twisted in the pit of Colin’s stomach. Fuck. He wanted her … badly. His throbbing cock urged him to take control, to grab what he wanted.
The predator inside of him demanded Sabela, to tear off the rest of her clothes, spread her legs and claim her with a mighty thrust. He’d drive into her until she cried his name, swore she was his … forever.
Hell. He lay his cheek against her soft breast and shuddered as Sabela’s fingers dug into his back.
Forever.
Where had that word come from? Forever had nothing to do with what he had planned for Sabela.
And on top of that, she was only there with him because he’d tricked her. He wasn’t being honest with her, and if she knew the truth, she’d think differently of him.
She certainly wouldn’t want this anymore. She wouldn’t open herself up to him, give herself over to his demands, his endless, aching need.
He could take her and he knew it, but this wasn’t how he wanted to be with her. He took a long, steadying breath, rubbed his cheek against her nipple a last time, then sat up, taking Sabela with him.
He pulled her into his lap. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and her lips found his again. He fought for control as her bottom twitched against his groin.
Nothing could stop the groan he breathed against her lips. “Hang on there, it’s not time for that yet.”
Saying it took so much willpower. How easy it would be to give in to temptation and make her his. But Colin knew that it wasn’t fair.
Something about Sabela had changed him.
She pulled back and looked at him in confusion, her features soft and sexy, adorable, expression hazy. Colin realized that there was no way they could continue even if he changed his mind. Between the wine and the glass of scotch, she was at least partially inebriated.
He wanted their first time together to be her choice, and she wasn’t able to make a decision right now. She’d said she wasn’t used to drinking, and she hadn’t exaggerated or fibbed about it.
Their night together was over.
“C-Colin?” she stammered.
“I had a great time tonight,” he whispered back, doing his best to sound warm and sincere. If it wasn’t for his guilt and her lack of sobriety, maybe things would have turned out differently.
Sabela pushed back from him and squinted, obviously displeased.
Unwilling to keep tempting himself, he got to his feet and pulled her up. She kept reaching for him as he leaned down and picked up her blouse.
“Stop. I don’t want to put it on. I want to be with you,” she said as he fitted the blouse over her head. “Colin, I want this. I want you!”
He gave her a gentle kiss to quiet her. Immediately, she softened against him. He loved feeling the weight of her body against him.
He took her by the elbow and let their gentle kisses continue even as he directed her toward the door. The touches were nothing more than flutters, leaving her wanting more and chasing his lips as they moved.
She smiled and giggled as he escorted her towards the bedroom wing. Sabela was damned adorable when she was tipsy, Colin thought.
When they reached her door, the clouds lifted as she realized where he’d taken her.
She cast a glance at her bedroom door, then down the hall to his bedroom. “I thought —”
“Get some rest. I’ll send Marie up with a late supper. Sleep well, and I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, giving her another gentle kiss.
Colin opened the door to her room and guided her inside. Sabela stumbled forward and turned to face him, but by then Colin was already back in the hall and closing the door. The last thing he saw was a perplexed expression on an achingly lovely face.
In the morning, he told himself, she’d appreciate his restraint, he was sure. He’d been honest.
If he could call it honesty. Colin hadn’t been particularly forthright with her about anything.
As soon as he was inside his own room, he closed the doors and locked them behind him. He didn’t think that Sabela would be brazen enough to pursue him, but he had known women like that in the past.
There was another bottle of scotch on the far table underneath the window. Colin moved to it and set both hands on the table, staring out at the dusky sky, at the snow falling in fat flakes.
He had been so sure about his plan and what exactly he was doing with Sabela, but knowing her made him want to forget that there ever was a plan. Sabela challenged him in ways no other woman ever had, and beyond her beauty, it drew him to her.
How was he supposed to continue?
Divided, Colin picked up the picture frame sitting on the table by the scotch. It was Blanca’s high school senior picture. Their relationship was still new then, but it was no less wonderful. She was why he was supposed to continue.
But was Blanca’s memory worth sacrificing what could be the start of something wonderful?
Colin’s fingertips traced over the frame of the photo as he remembered what she’d meant to him. Sabela’s innocence was alive in her, but the two of them
were so different in other ways.
Was that why when he looked at Sabela, he began to forget about Blanca and all she meant to him?
Colin wasn’t ready to face what this could mean. He needed to be even more careful now. The fact of the matter was, until he laid his demons to rest there would be no other way to chase thoughts of Blanca out of his head. No matter how much he wanted Sabela, she’d never be happy with a man so caught up in his own past.
If it meant ruining his chances with Sabela so he could move on, he had to do it. There would be no hope for his future otherwise.
It was wrong, though, that his happiness might come at the expense of Sabela’s.
Perhaps he could find a way to alter the plan, to minimize her exposure to the shrapnel.
The inside voice that spoke in his mother’s dulcet tones said, “Yes, that’s a start.”
And so Colin would try.
Chapter Twenty
A HANGOVER. WHEN WAS THE last time she’d been hungover? Sabela groaned and rolled over, half-crippled by a killer headache.
What had she drunk last night? A few too many glasses of wine, and then a glass of fine scotch. She should have known better than to go so hard. She’d always been a lightweight.
Day three at Haberlin Chalet was off to a miserable start. What had she done last night? Sabela remembered leaving dinner to go to the lounge, and chatting with Colin about their histories, and then …
She jerked straight up and instantly regretted it. Her head throbbed even harder. No matter how much it hurt, though, she couldn’t escape the memory of the previous night.
Colin and herself, tangled in each other’s arms on the couch, kissing. Touching. Wanting more.
Sabela groaned. “Oh my God, what did I do?”
She had ended up partially undressed, that she knew for sure. She hadn’t bothered to wear a bra under her blouse because she’d thought she was only going to score some food from the kitchen. She hadn’t expected to end up on an impromptu date with Colin.
A date.
They had food and good conversation, and then Colin invited her into his lounge for a drink. A date was exactly what last night was, and she’d been so caught up in the moment that she hadn’t seen it.