Shit
Oh god.
"You know what, yeah. I'm definitely going to need a few more."
Chapter Twenty-Two
Sanniyah
When I finally stumble home, I am more than slightly drunk. I need to sleep, but I am way too keyed up to do anything other than text Tricia. "You up?"
In reply, I hear a dull thud. She's banging on the wall to let me know that she is still up. The faint sounds of music accompany her invitation.
Just as I raising my hand to knock, Tricia flings open the door, shotglass in hand. "Bottom's up, bitch! Rita got a new job!"
Rita is behind her, rolling her eyes so hard they might fall out of her head. I raise my glass to her. "Congratulations!" I shout, a little too loudly. The bourbon blazes a trail down my throat and I can feel my tattered emotions rising even closer to the surface. "What are you going to be doing?"
She squares her shoulders, then collapses, giggling and shaking her head. Tricia eyes her with drunken pride. "You're looking at the new Senior Fellow for Journalism Ethics at Haywood University."
"That's incredible! I'm honored to be in your illustrious presence."
Rita rolls her eyes again. "It sounds lot more prestigious on paper. Honestly, I'm not even sure why they chose me."
Tricia fixes her with a glare. "Because you're incredible. And you're damn good at your job. The paper hasn't been using you the way they should be. Not at all. You're finally going to get to shine, baby!" She breaks out into a spontaneous jig that has us both laughing.
"Haywood University, that's one I haven't heard of."
Rita shakes her head. "You probably wouldn't, unless you were looking for journalism schools in New England."
I feel my heart sink. "So...you have to like, live there and stuff, right?"
Tricia stops her spastic dancing. "Oh, um, yeah Yahya." She darts a quick look at Rita who shakes her head imperceptibly. "We're going to have to move."
All of a sudden, all of the drinking hits me at once. My head is spinning as I sag into the couch. Tricia moving? My best friend? Sure, since she and Rita got married, I've been the third wheel, but I somehow thought we'd always live in close proximity to each other. I couldn't bring myself to picture it otherwise.
Tricia moves to sling her arm around Rita, nudging her into dancing. "You do understand that I can't dance to the music that's only in your head, right?" Rita laughs, squirming away. I smile, but it dies on my lips and Rita notices immediately.
"Yahya, you okay?"
"I'm great," I lie. "I'm totally thrilled for you. I just think...no wait, I know I drank way too much tonight."
Tricia cocks her head. "You went out without me? Bitch, you told me you were working."
"I know," I moan, leaning forward and cradling my head in my hands. "I was working. I broke my rule about not drinking on the job." I laugh ruefully. "I'm breaking a lot of my own rules lately."
"You don't break rules." Tricia shakes her head. "Sorry, that doesn't compute."
I laugh, then cringe as it makes the throbbing in my head worse. "Yeah, apparently I do."
"Bullshit. I bet you like, forgot to pay a meter or something."
I look up at her through my fingers. "Try, 'I slept with my client's brother.'"
Tricia's mouth is a perfect 'O' of shock. "The white guy? The rich guy? Romeo and freaking Juliet guy?"
"Yes," I moan softly.
"This is huge." She plops herself right next to me, pressing in close. "Babe go get me more bourbon, I need it." Rita grabs the bottle and mutely pours us two more shots. I watch her warily, expecting her to start hollering at me any moment. In fact, I would relish it. Then I would know I deserved to feel as shitty as I do. Tricia leans back on the couch, pursing her lips, her eyes unreadable as she stares off into the distance.
I wait.
Then I wait some more.
"Tricia, if you don't say something, I'm going to self-combust."
She turns to me, slowly. "Okay then. I have one question for you."
I swallow hard. "What?"
"How was he?"
"What?!"
"In bed? Was he any good?"
“Why do you care?” I said, laughing.
“I’m just curious!”
I slump back, suddenly boneless at the memory. "Best I've ever had," I half moan, half sigh. "And then in the morning he offered to make me poached eggs...right before I had a mental breakdown and ran out of there."
Tricia is speechless for possibly the first time in her life. But I suddenly can't stop the words from coming.
"Tricia, oh my god. I like him. I do. He's got this weird duality to him, where one moment he's all formal and holding open doors for me and the next moment he's tearing off my clothes." I ignore Tricia's shocked sound and plow on, the words coming in a stream of conscious ramble that I couldn't contain if I tried. "But it's just...bad fucking timing. Like, literally the worst. Nothing is going according to my plan, not the business stuff, not the family shit, none of it, and when I got the Camilla Easton wedding I thought, holy shit this is it, I finally have made my break! I wanted everything to go flawlessly from start to finish so that I could use this as a launching point, get Felicia to fucking call me back and then I'd be able to focus on fixing my personal life afterwards. I don't have time for a man to complicate my life! I mean, I planned on taking some time off once the licensing process was over, maybe I can wait until that...."
Tricia speechlessness is finally broken when she practically explodes off the couch. "Yahya, this isn't the kind of shit you can plan, girl! You know what your problem is? I'll tell you, because I see you doing it to yourself over and over again. You want the world to follow your rules when the world is just doing its own thing with you in it. You're not in control, and that's a fucking beautiful thing, don't you see? You gotta roll with it and when gorgeous guys who make your parts tingle tell you they want to make you breakfast, you fucking stay for breakfast. I'm a fucking lesbian and if he's half as sexy as you make him sound I would have eaten his eggs from here until next week.
Rita chucks a throw pillow at her. Tricia puts up a soothing hand and grins lasciviously. "Baby don't be jealous, you know I only eat your eggs."
"Gross," Rita laughs and I am filled with another flood of sadness. I love these two more than is sensible, how am I going to be able to handle it when they move? The sadness spreads through me, a level of grief that doesn't make sense with my happy surroundings. I don't understand where it is coming from...until the text message alert goes off on my phone. I look down, already knowing what I am going to see.
"Yahya?" Tricia sees me staring at my phone in mute sorrow.
"It's my mom," I explain. "Otis is in the hospital."
Chapter Twenty-Three
Sanniyah
Shock is supposed to sober you up, isn't it? That's what I have always heard. But I'm stumbling through the hospital entrance, still reeling like a drunken sailor. Tricia and Rita insisted on coming with me, with Rita somehow sober enough to drive. Tricia is clutching me right now. I know she is trying to hug me, support me, but she is leaning so hard I fear we both might fall over.
And when I see my mother's exhausted face, I know I'm going to crumple to the ground.
She unfolds herself from the chair and sobriety finally finds me. "Mom," I say, rushing to her.