I listen with half an ear as Leslie continues to gush about Frank. It’s great, and I’m used to my friend’s chatter. In fact, I envy Leslie’s ability to fall in love so quickly because it seems like a fun way to live life. Every week, there’s a new guy, new excitement, and new drama. By contrast, my life is usually more of a yawn and a movie on the couch before going to bed early.
Then again, I’m actually keeping a huge secret this time. I’m the one who met a man at the fair and who had sex with him in the back of the barn! OMG, if Les knew she would die. As if on cue, my friend breaks out of her monologue for a moment.
“By the way girl, you looked kind of weird when you left the fair. Was everything okay?”
I blink a few times. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. You were like, being kind of squirrelly. Did something happen while I was talking to Frank?”
I want to tell Leslie everything. It would be so easy to open my mouth and let it all spill out. But somehow, I can’t bring myself to do it. Something about being with Travis felt special, and I want to treasure that intimate moment.
Plus, I don’t want Leslie to freak out and get super excited only to find out that things with Travis are over before they even begin. Who knows if things will still feel the same the next time I see him? Dating these days is unpredictable, and people change their minds at the drop of a hat.
There’s also the possibility that Leslie will tell me I’m insane and tease me for having sex with a stranger I just met in the back of a darkened barn. She wouldn’t be off base, to be honest. Regardless, I try to parry.
“I was just tired and hot. All that walking under the blazing sun took a toll on me, I guess.” Les yawns a bit.
“Okay, that makes sense. I just wanted to make sure.”
“I appreciate you always checking in on me.”
“You, too. Thanks for listening to me talk about Frank, by the way. I’m just sooooo excited to be with him. I’ll introduce you officially soon because I know for sure this is going to last.”
I smile wordlessly into the phone. “That sounds great, Leslie. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, Peps. I should probably go because I haven’t showered yet. Eeew! I probably smell like goat still.”
I giggle too.
“I know, I smelled like hay mixed with barn animal when I got home. The hot water felt amazing.”
Leslie laughs. “I’ll talk to you at work tomorrow. Ugh, I wish we didn’t have to show because I really want to go to the fair again. Frank’s going to be there because the farm collective he works for has a stall, so he’s going to be there the entire two weeks. What is this thing called being a barista?” she squeals with mock outrage. I just laugh.
“Listen, I’m going before work to get a strawberry pie. Do you want to come too? Maybe you’ll see your loverboy then?”
I can hear Leslie’s grin when she says, “Yeah, def! That would be amazing!” I chuckle.
“Alright. I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Talk then. Bye girlfriend!”
We hang up and I flop down on my bed once again. I’m still in my robe and my hair’s still wet, so I need to get dressed before dinner with my parents. We try to eat at the table every night when we’re all home, and while it’s not formal, Maryanne and Bob don’t like it if I show up in my pajamas. They say that a successful real estate agent always has to present well, and the best place to start is at home. Uck. I already hate their job, and they don’t even know it.
The thing is that I’m not like my parents. I don’t resent them for working a lot, but I want a job that allows me to be home with my future children. Being out of the house fifteen hours a day sounds crazy and horrible.
Sighing, I move from my bed to the small desk in the corner of my room. My laptop is already open to a job board because I’ve been actively looking for work since I graduated in May. It’s a shame there isn’t more out there.
Slowly, I tap on my keyboard, my eyes scanning the screen. There are a few new positions listed today, and I email my resume to some administrators at various companies in the area. I doubt I’ll even hear back. A lot of HR departments are overworked, and there’s simply no acknowledgement that they ever received your application. It’s as if it disappeared into a black hole.
I sigh. This is so pointless. No one wants someone with no experience and a degree in Art. Even though I got really great grades, no one seems to care. Depressed, I close out of the job boards and open up a search engine. I start typing in Travis’s name but I stop myself immediately. This isn’t how I want to learn more about him. I want to get to know Travis naturally, instead of doing the Millennial thing and stalking him within an inch of his life.