Eventually, he was going to want to talk to me about it again. I just needed time before that happened. I didn’t want to be at Ava’s house and have him show up for an awkward confrontation with his family right there to witness it all. I hadn’t wanted to be by myself when I headed to Ava’s earlier in the day, but now it was exactly what I needed.
I called for a cab to bring me to the motel and resigned myself to settling in for the night. The paper-thin walls gave me a front-row seat to the various activities and events going on in the rooms around me, and combined with the thoughts rushing through my head, I struggled to get to sleep. Finally, exhaustion got the most of me, and I nodded off.
It didn’t last long. Only a few hours after I fell asleep, I woke up. My body was still on my work schedule, but I managed to will myself back to sleep for a little bit longer. The next time I woke up, it was to the sound of my phone ringing. I had the sinking feeling it was Tom, and I definitely wasn’t in the headspace to start my morning with talking to him.
I took my phone out from under my pillow so I could silence it and caught the name on the screen. It was Ava.
“Hey,” I said, rubbing my eyes as I answered the phone.
“Were you still asleep?” she asked. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” I said, pulling myself up to a sitting position and leaning back against the wall. “I actually woke up a while ago, but I made myself go back to sleep. It was really hard to fall asleep last night, and I’m really tired.”
“I’m sure you are,” she said. “I just wanted to call and check on you. How did last night go?”
“Well, I’m in a really crappy motel at the edge of town if that tells you anything,” I said.
“I thought you said you got a reservation at the hotel,” Ava said.
“I thought I did,” I said. “But to add to the fun that was my evening, the hotel lost my reservation. So, I ended up here. Alone.”
“You should have just come to my house,” she said. “We could have had a slumber party.”
“I’m sure Mason would have loved that,” I said.
“I would have just kicked him out,” she said matter-of-factly.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“I guess it’s safe to assume Tom didn’t take the news well?” she asked.
“That’s one way to put it. We were sitting there at the table, and I told him. I just came right out and said it. I didn’t want to beat around the bush or make a big deal out of it,” I said.
“That was the right thing to do,” Ava said. “It’s better to just put it out there and be straightforward. That way there isn’t any ambiguity or confusion.”
“That’s what I thought. But apparently, Tom doesn’t need ambiguity in order to be confused. I told him straight out, and he gave me this look.”
“What kind of look?” she asked.
“No idea. That’s the thing. I’ve never seen this kind of look before. Especially not from him. It was this kind of disturbing blend of anger and shock and confusion. Just several decidedly negative things. There wasn’t any sort of positivity or even neutrality. It’s not like I expected him to jump up and declare to the restaurant that he was going to be a father and champagne all around or anything. But there could have at least been a hint in his eyes that he was willing to talk about it,” I said.
“What did you do?”
“I left,” I said. “Whatever that expression was, it didn’t seem like it was going to accompany a conversation I wanted to have with other people in the restaurant with us. I was totally overwhelmed. I didn’t know what was going to happen or how he was going to react, but I wasn’t ready for that.”
“Have you talked to him since?” she asked.
“No,” I said. “He didn’t come after me.”
“Has he called you?”
“Once, but I didn’t answer. I booked a flight home. It leaves later today,” I said.
“I think you should hold off on leaving,” Ava said.
“Why?” I asked.
“You said you didn’t know how he was going to react, and the truth is, you still don’t know. You didn’t even give him time to. He might have just been surprised. Wouldn’t you be?”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “I’m sure I would have been.”
“Then you need to hold on,” she said.
“I can’t, Ava,” I said. “I would have been surprised, but I would have at least said something. I can’t just stick around.”
“Look, just cancel your flight. Don’t give up. I’m going to come pick you up for lunch. You sound like you could use some girl time. Okay?”