A huge piece of chocolate melted on my tongue, and I let out a sigh. Susan laughed.
“Do you like them?” she asked.
“They are the best cookies I’ve ever tasted,” I said. “What’s your secret?”
“A little extra salt and more brown sugar than granulated. I like having more cookie part than chocolate, so I don’t put in as much as usual recipes call for,” Susan said.
“Well, they’re delicious,” I said. “Maybe you’ll teach me how to make them if I’m in town long enough.”
She and Ava exchanged a quick glance. I wasn’t sure what was behind that glance, but I decided not to comment on it. She sat down on the couch and cooed and giggled with the baby. Ava sat with a handful of cookies and watched them happily.
It was nice, and I should have been enjoying myself. But it was still weird for me to be alone with them right now. Something was brewing between Tom and I. Sitting with his mother and sister-in-law felt odd and a little awkward. I didn’t know who to tell, or even if I should.
The two women were carrying on a conversation and doing their best to include me. But even though I could hear what they were saying, I struggled to really follow along. I definitely couldn’t respond in any truly effective way. I did my best, but by the looks on their faces, there were moments when I missed something or gave an answer that didn’t make any sense.
After Robert fell asleep, Susan put him back in Ava’s arms, said goodbye to both of us, and left. Ava carried her sleeping son into the back of the house where she settled him down for a nap in his nursery. She came back into the living room carrying a baby monitor. She propped it on the table beside the couch and watched the tiny screen for a few seconds.
Robert was just lying there, peaceful as anything, but there was still a flicker of concern on Ava’s face. It was like she hated even being out of the room with him.
“Hey, Amanda?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you doing okay today?” she asked.
“Sure,” I said. “Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know, you just seem a little… spacy today.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “You know what? Come to think of it, Tom was acting like that, too. And he seemed a lot less tense and stressed.”
She was on to me. It wasn’t going to be long before she figured it out for herself. That didn’t mean I wanted to say anything. As a matter of fact, I distinctly did not want to say anything. I tried to keep my mouth shut and just let her keep thinking about whatever she wanted to.
“We slept together,” I said.
It just kind of fell out of my mouth. I slapped my hand over it, but I couldn’t shove the words back inside. Ava’s eyes widened and her mouth opened slowly. I cringed just as she gasped.
“I knew it!” She leaned toward me off the edge of the couch, a huge smile stretched across her face. “Tell me everything.”
“Well, I mean, it’s not like it came out of nowhere, I guess,” I said.
“Umm… no. It was so obvious the two of you like each other. Susan and I told you that the other day.”
“I guess I just didn’t think it was actually going to happen,” I said.
“So,” she said with impatience in her voice. “What does this mean? Are you two together?”
“I don’t know what it means. I have no idea what he’s thinking or feeling about it. We haven’t even really talked about it that way. Now probably isn’t the time to try to figure it out considering how much stress he’s under,” I said.
“Yeah,” she said, “I get that. He’s dealing with a lot right now. But that doesn’t mean he can just use you and leave you to wonder what’s going on. You deserve to know the truth.”
I nodded and reached for one of the cookies, shoving the entire thing into my mouth at once. “I know. And I want to know what’s going on in his head. But at the same time, I’m worried that no matter how either of us are feeling, it’s not going to work out.”
“Why would you think that?” she asked.
“The company has really strict policies about dating any coworkers. Even people who work in the same department aren’t supposed to see each other. I’m positive there would be a major issue with the boss dating his secretary,” I said.
Ava stared at me for a few seconds, blinking like she wasn’t exactly sure I was finished talking. “Amanda, he owns the company. He’s probably the one who came up with the policies. I’m sure he can make an exception.”
“See, that’s the thing. He’s not the one who came up with the policies. It’s the board. From the beginning, they’ve been involved in most aspects of building up the company. Including making the policies. Tom can’t just make an exception without upsetting them.”