I seriously doubted there was such a thing. They continued to talk as I watched the flames and enjoyed the warmth under the fluffy throw. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Griff took the spot beside me and pulled me to his side. Chet sat down in the chair across from us and they continued with their talk about classes and professors. I listened some, but my eyes felt heavy and closing them was all I wanted to do. It was comfortable and safe with Griff. I’d missed him and being here with him again made everything seem like it was normal. Almost. There was the issue of Creed.
I was woken up when Griff picked me up from the sofa.
“You need help?” I heard Creed’s deep voice but the room was dark.
“I’m awake. I can walk,” I told Griff.
He pulled me tighter against his chest. “I got you now,” he said. “Can you open the bedroom door?” he then asked Creed.
I felt silly being carried and wondered how long I’d been asleep. The fire was no longer lighting up the room with a glow. All I heard was the embers crackling as it slowly faded. “You don’t have to carry me,” I said again.
“I want to,” Griff replied.
We walked into the bedroom and the door closed behind us. Griff placed me on the bed and then went to get my cotton leggings and flannel pajama top. “Are you going to dress me too?” I asked then yawned.
He grinned and handed me the clothing. “If I undress you, I won’t be interested in putting clothing back on you and you’re tired. Better let you dress yourself.”
I almost told him I wasn’t too tired for sex but I didn’t. Something about Creed being in the other room made me feel strange. Creed had been my first and my only other sexual partner. I didn’t want to think about why it made me feel wrong. I just wanted to forget Creed and go back to sleep.
October 26, 2019
Boston Massachusetts
I hadn’t expected to wake to an empty bed this morning. It was Saturday and Griff didn’t have any classes. After stretching and giving myself adequate time to get fully awake, I made the sprint from the bed to the chair to get the robe and fuzzy socks. Today would be a good day to buy him that area rug for this room. The floors were already freezing.
The living room was quiet but it wasn’t empty. Griff was sitting on the sofa with a large book in his lap, his glasses on, and a highlighter in his right hand. He was so engrossed in what he was doing, he didn’t look up when I opened the bedroom door. Chet was sitting in the chair also reading from a large medical book with a notebook and a pen beside him. They were studying. Griff had said he was already sick of all the memorizing and reading he had to do. This was supposed to be the hardest year of medical school and for his sake I hoped it was.
I didn’t speak for fear of interrupting something important. Instead I went to the kitchen to make coffee. While I was busy doing that, I heard another door open and I knew without looking who had joined us. Creed’s presence here made this uncomfortable. As much as I had missed Griff, I was looking forward to moving into Gran’s tomorrow. Staying here was difficult. Surely in time it would get easier.
“Must be fascinating shit they’re reading,” Creed’s deep voice said as he entered the kitchen.
I forced a smile and took my cup of coffee to move out of his way. I went to the table and sat down, wishing I could get closer to the fire but afraid to disturb them. I didn’t watch Creed but I was aware of his every move. That needed to stop. My body was reacting as if I was seventeen again.
Ignoring it and him wasn’t going to change things. I had to rewire my brain where he was concerned. I turned to look at him then and he was standing in front of the refrigerator with it open. I already knew there wasn’t much food in there. Griff and Chet ordered out often. There was a list of their favorites with menus and phone numbers in the first drawer to the left of the fridge.
“I don’t think they buy food. Just coffee supplies,” I whispered.
He glanced at me then back at them. “Appears so,” he replied, not whispering as he closed the door. “Guess I’ll go find food. Want to come?”
I hadn’t been expecting that question. It was polite. If I was rewiring my brain to stop remembering who Creed once was to me and seeing him only as Griff’s roommate then I should go. It seemed normal enough. No big deal that I’d had sex with Creed before or that I loved him once. Shouldn’t matter that it took me until Griff to get over the pain of losing him.