Creed began kissing me again, and I tried to keep up while he made me feel things I hadn’t before. When I thought I couldn’t take much more and the pressure building inside was going to explode, he pressed me onto my back and came with me covering my body with his.
I knew what he wanted to do and I wanted it just as much. I’d never done this before but only because Creed was the only one I wanted to lose my virginity to.
“If you’re not ready, I can wait. I’ll wait as long as you want me to,” he told me in a deeper voice than normal.
We only had a little over a month left of our summer together. I didn’t want to miss anything. “I’m ready,” I told him.
He bent his head down and kissed my cheek then my jawline, before hovering above my lips. “I’ll love you forever,” he said softly.
And I believed him.
Twenty-five
November 18, 2019
My alarm went off too soon and getting dressed had been a chore. My sleep had been fitful and dreams of Creed hadn’t helped me. Once I was ready for work, I headed downstairs, shivering at the cold as I reached the bottom step and knowing I didn’t have time to start a fire. I’d warm up in my car on the way to work.
I glanced at the coffee pot in the kitchen and decided I’d wait until work for that too. There were at least two Dunkin’ Donuts on my way to the museum; I could stop at one of those if the lines weren’t too long.
Grabbing my coat, I pulled it on and then wrapped a red scarf around my neck. I knew when I walked out the door, I was going to want to look over at Creed’s. See if his Jeep was there or if he’d not come home. I had put my phone on silent last night and turned on the sound machine to drown out any calls or knocks from him. I was going to have to check my phone for missed calls and texts eventually, but I wasn’t ready for that yet.
None of that mattered, though, when I opened the back door and found Creed sitting there with steam coming from the coffee cup in his hand. His dark hair looked like he’d just gotten out of bed, but the darkness under his eyes made me think he didn’t sleep at all. The urge to comfort him and kiss his beautiful face pulled at me, but I kept my distance. Last night had been emotionally draining and I didn’t have the energy for this confrontation. Not yet.
“Morning,” he said as his cool, even gaze settled on me.
“Hello,” I replied.
He took a drink of his coffee and studied me a moment. “I called you and texted you last night.”
I glanced down, not wanting to look at him. “I haven’t checked my phone notifications this morning.”
He said nothing and we stood there in silence for far longer than was comfortable.
“What happened that I don’t know about, Sailor?” he asked finally.
There was no putting this off, but I wasn’t ready to talk about the girl in his lap last night. I didn’t have the mental strength for that. I was too sleep deprived, and I needed to get to work without black mascara running own my face.
“Griff came here,” I said.
Creed took another drink and waited. He wanted more information than that it would seem.
“He was upset. He said he could forgive me and that he loved me. He said a lot of things,” I stopped then because the one thing he had said that had caused me to lock Creed out last night was the one thing I was not going to bring up right now. I needed more time to process it.
Creed nodded once then straightened from his relaxed lean he had been doing on the porch railing. “I see,” he said simply.
He saw what? I started to ask when he began to walk away. He was just leaving. He had no more questions. Nothing.
“You’re leaving?” I asked him.
He paused then turned back to look at me. His eyes were hooded from the morning sun and he was just far enough from me I couldn’t make out his expression very well. “You have a decision to make, Sailor. I won’t beg. I’m not Griff,” he said then continued across my backyard toward his.
My heart hurt and yet I wanted to pick up something and hurl it at his head. I had told him about Griff coming here last night, but he hadn’t mentioned the woman he’d gotten friendly with in the bar. He believed this was about me choosing between him and Griff. That decision had been made already and Griff was no longer an option. However, I wasn’t sure Creed was either.