No longer wanting to stand near the fire for warmth, I headed to the kitchen while he laughed softly behind me. He was right of course. I had burned more bacon than I had gotten correct. It was a struggle to be sure. I just couldn’t gauge when it was ready to take out of the skillet correctly.
“I would have thought you could cook bacon,” Creed said as I walked past him into the kitchen. I gave him a sideways glance, not sure what he meant by that but I didn’t ask. I went to the fridge and began getting out the things I needed for pancakes when I felt him come up too close for comfort behind me.
“Your Gran taught you to cook at a young age. Did she leave bacon out of the lessons?” He asked it in such a low voice that I didn’t have to worry that Griff could hear him.
“Gran was a vegan. Remember?” I told him, taking the milk from the fridge then grabbing the butter.
“That’s right. I’d forgotten.” The way his tone changed caught my attention and I turned around to look at him. It was an odd change in mood. I bet he’d forgotten a lot about our summers. I didn’t want to know just how much he had let slip from his memories. Not that I should care. It was best he didn’t care. We weren’t the same people that we had been back then. Our lives were very different and I had Griff. Creed caring would complicate things.
I stepped to the side and walked past him to set the items on the counter. “I was a kid so vegan didn’t register with me. That mac and cheese she made us that was incredible was vegan?” he asked.
Looking at Creed made it hard for me to concentrate. I chose to keep my focus on making pancakes. “Yes. Everything she made was vegan.”
“Damn,” he muttered. “I dated a vegan once and the stuff she cooked tasted like shit.”
I lifted my shoulders with a shrug. “It takes talent to make something taste good without milk, cheese, eggs, or meat.” Which I knew firsthand. I had tried going vegan once two years ago. After a month, I found myself in Darryl’s Barbecue, inhaling a pulled pork sandwich like a starving woman.
I heard him open the fridge door and assumed he was getting the bacon. I could have gotten it for him but I was too busy being awkward and uncomfortable. There was no reason to be. I was letting my childhood feelings for him get in the way. They were haunting me and I had to get control over them. We were adults now and that was a long time ago.
He didn’t say anything more until I was flipping the second pancake. The bacon was filling the apartment with its delicious aroma and I’d relaxed some.
“Did you come back that next summer?” he asked me out of the blue. I hadn’t expected that question. I just shook my head no. I didn’t get into the reason why I didn’t return was because he had shut me out.
“I spent it in London with my mom. I wasn’t sure,” he said.
I still said nothing. There was nothing to say.
“What did you do that summer?” he asked then and I wished he’d stop this. Talking about the past was not good for my head space.
“I stayed in Nashville for the most part. Dad was on a world tour and I met up with him in Sydney, Australia, then went with him to Melbourne and the Gold Coast before flying back home.” I left out that the only reason I went back home was because Dad had met step-mom number two in the Gold Coast. She’d been twenty-three and obviously Australian.
“We let Cora down, you know. Not hiking the AT.” His words surprised me. I’d not expected him to talk about Cora or the plans we had once shared. It was unsettling and sad at the same time. I wanted to remember her but I was afraid of the pain that came with that.
“I guess we did,” was all I could say in return. My throat felt tight and talking was not easy.
“I’m starving, is it done?” Chet asked from the kitchen door. I hadn’t heard him approach but then my thoughts had been elsewhere.
“Bacon is,” Creed told him, before walking out of the kitchen. I fought the urge to watch him go.
“You can take the two pancakes I’ve finished,” I said, attempting to sound casual and not like I wanted to cry.
He was right. Cora expected us to be together. We had been anything but together after the moment we found her.
Seven
October 28, 2019
I finished packing up the small suitcase with my things and then straightened up the bed and picked up the clothing Griff had left lying on the floor last night. He had left early for class, and I needed to get ready to head north.