“Mom,” I say, trying to warn her not to hit Lily with too many questions at once. But Lily surprises me again when she speaks up.
“For the moment, my plan is to go to the county community college, but I have an application
in at MU. If I get into Minnesota, I’d like to go there.”
“You haven’t heard back yet?” my dad asks. I assume he’s thinking about me getting my letter months ago.
“My scholarships take time to get approval. There are only so many, and a lot of people go after them.” Lily shrugs like it’s no big deal.
I’d asked her about school before, but I didn’t realize she was still waiting to hear back. “My athletic scholarship came through early. They like to have those in place before the season starts,” I say, trying to put her at ease. “I got lucky with mine. Part of it has a housing allowance since we are so close to campus. I can live at home and commute, or I can get a place on campus and stay close to the team.”
I want to let her know that I’ve got the option to stay at home if she decides to stay local, or I can live on campus if she gets in. I’m already thinking about our future together and how I don’t want us to be apart. As if she understands what I mean, she gives me a shy smile. Her bright blue doe eyes sparkle, and I feel another piece of us click into place.
Turning back to my parents, I see they’re both staring at us with the stupidest grins on their faces. I roll my eyes and pull Lily behind me to the back of the store. When we get there, I take her coat and hang it up.
“Sorry about them. They’ve never done that before.”
“What? Said hello to someone?” she asks, smiling. I hand her an apron and she slips it on.
“Met a girl I brought home. Or, well, to the store. I’ve never introduced them to someone before.”
“Oh.” She pauses. “Never?”
“Nope. I’ve actually never had a girlfriend before. So this is kind of new for me, too.” I put on a matching apron and give her a half-smile. “I’m not sure if it makes me less attractive, but today was my first kiss. It’s kind of all happening at once, I guess.”
I walk over to her and put my finger under her chin to help her close her mouth. She didn’t notice it had popped open at that bit of news. It was a bit comical, but she laughs after I do it.
“You were my first kiss, too,” she says shyly. “I like that. That we were the first.”
“And the last,” I add, placing my lips on hers. The kiss is soft and all too quick, but I can’t take the chance of my parents walking back here. They’re looking for any excuse to talk to Lily, I can feel it. “Let me show you around the place.”
I spend most of the late afternoon giving Lily a tour of the place and showing her what I do when I’m here. She helps me stock shelves, water the plants, and sweep the floors. I show her how to use the scanner, and we do some inventory.
It’s fun working together, and it gives us more time to talk. Lily wants to major in art and teach one day, and I think she would be an amazing teacher. She’s shy, but she’s also patient, and I think she would be incredible. I can see her passion when she talks about it, and I want to figure out a way to make her dreams come true.
“How long do you usually work?” she asks me as we go to the back and take our aprons off.
“We close at six, so sometime before then. Dad normally closes up and I go home to either cook dinner if my mom is on shift, or eat dinner if she’s off.” I smile at her, and she shakes her head.
“Always eating,” she says and hands me her apron.
“Always hungry,” I reply, putting away the aprons and pulling her into my arms for a quick kiss.
I wait up front for her as she goes into the back office with my dad to square away her paperwork. After a few minutes they come out and she tucks an envelope in her pocket.
“All set?” I ask, and she smiles at me and nods. I hold her coat open for her and then zip it up before we say goodbye to my dad and we leave.
In the Jeep in the way to her house, she’s quiet. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, but I think your dad paid me too much.”
I laugh and grip her hand. “He pays the high school kids well because they’re almost free labor. He gave you cash, didn’t he?” She nods. “He pays me in cash, too. It’s under the table that way, and it’s only a few days a week, so there’s really no harm.”
“It’s really nice of him. Both your parents were really sweet.”
“Maybe I could meet your dad sometime soon.” She freezes, and I can feel the change of atmosphere in the car. “Or maybe some other time. No rush. I just want to make sure we’re out in the open with this. I don’t want to sneak around with you, Lily.”
“Me neither.” She says it so low I almost don’t catch it.
I know there’s more there, but I let it go. I don’t want to push her too hard, too fast, so I change the subject.
“So.” I look over at her when we pull up to the front of her house. “You want chocolate chip muffins again tomorrow, or a bagel?” She smiles at me, and the tension is broken.
I would do anything to keep that smile on her face.
15
Lily
I stare at myself in the mirror, wondering if this dress will be nice enough. It’s a simple cotton dress that’s fitted at the top and through the waist until it hits the hips, then it flares out a little. The hem comes to my knees, but the whole thing gives me more of a figure. It makes me feel like a woman. It’s soft pink and simple. I’m pretty sure I got it at a thrift store last summer but never wore it. It’s the only one this nice I have, and I have no idea where Ren is taking me tonight, so I really hope it’s okay.
He showed up this morning with a chocolate chip muffin with a candle in it. It was sweet and I made him share it with me. The school day went by entirely too fast and now I’m left with a belly full of butterflies about tonight, wondering what Ren has planned. He wouldn’t tell me a thing. Not even the smallest hint.
It’s nice to be excited about a birthday again. I haven’t celebrated one since I lost my mom, and I’m sure my father forgot about it. He was gone before I got out of bed this morning, and I’m praying he would be home late tonight. I’d rather him not know I’d gone out at all. I’m not sure how he’ll respond to me going places. He may not care, but if he does, it will be bad.
He’d let me do a few weekend jobs, but I’d never asked to do anything else. Never had a reason to. Nor had the subject of boys ever come up. Sometimes I think he wants me gone and would be happy if I wasn’t here when he got home. But then when I talked about working at nights, it pissed him off and I was told no. I don’t understand him, but I’m guessing there is no understanding an alcoholic. Maybe he just likes me around so it isn’t so lonely, or because he wants someone to take his pain out on. I only hope I make it home before he does. Fridays tend to be late nights for him.
Digging through my backpack, I find a small tube of lip gloss and slick it on. It makes my lips look shiny and fuller. I run my fingers through my hair, giving it one last check. This is as good as it’s getting.
I grab my small purse off my bed and head downstairs to wait for Ren. He dropped me off after school and said he’d be back in an hour. He was reluctant to leave me, wanting to wait for me to get ready, but I didn’t want him to come inside. Nor did I want to chance my father coming home early. It was unlikely that would happen, but it could, knowing my luck.
And after meeting Ren’s parents, I definitely don’t want him meeting my father. They were so freaking perfect and sweet in every way. I forgot families like that existed anymore. I could see how much they all love each other. How excited they were to meet me just because I meant something to their son.
God, looking at Ren’s mom made me miss my own mom so bad. It doesn’t help that today’s my birthday. Her death is weighing heavily on me today. I wonder what she would have done for me. I’m sure we would have gone shopping. A new dress would have been a must for Mom. My eyes water as I think about all the things we could have done today.
I swallow the lump in my throat and focus on tonight. I grab my coat and slip on my boots, even though they don’t match my outfit. I don’t have any other options, especially with t
he snow. When I look out the window by the door I see Ren coming up the walkway to the front door. I pull open the door quickly and shut and lock it behind me so he can’t ask to come in. When I turn around he’s already right behind me.
“You’re supposed to let me knock, babe,” he says, smiling down at me. “I was going to introduce myself to your father before I took you out.”
“He’s still at work,” I tell him grabbing his hand, wanting to get out of here. But when I go to pull on it so he’ll come with me, he pulls me back to him, engulfing me in his arms and leaning down for a kiss. His lips lock on mine, and I melt into him. The cold Minnesota night doesn’t stand a chance against Ren’s body heat.
“Don’t try to not give me my kiss,” he says playfully.
“Sorry,” I say breathlessly.
You’d think I’d be used to his kisses by now, but nope. They still knock the air right out of me. He’s been laying them on me every chance he gets. Even at work. Sometimes I think I’m getting paid just to kiss him. He’s always grabbing me when no one is around, and we end up having a little make-out session that does all kinds of things to me. I want to do more.
“Come on, don’t want to be late.” Before I can turn, he swoops me up in his arms like I weigh nothing, and I giggle as he carries me towards his Jeep. I wrap my arms around his neck and smile at him. “I love that sound.”
He puts me back on my feet and opens the passenger’s side door, helping me in. Leaning over me, he pulls the seat belt over me, his whole body rubbing against mine. I try to push into him a little, loving the feeling of him against me. When I’m close to him, I feel safe.
He stops moving when my breasts push into his chest. His eyes meet mine, and they’re darker than normal. I lick my lips, drawing his eyes there. I want to throw myself at him. The sound of the seat belt locking into place breaks the moment, and Ren pulls back but keeps staring at me.