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My mother stares me down with full self-assurance, and more than a little scorn. “I am alone because I choose to be. I don’t have the need to be with someone; I’m not like you.”

“Like me! I don’t need to be with anyone! You basically forced me to be with Noah—I never felt like I had a choice in anything! You have always controlled me—and I am done. I am fucking done!” The tears erupt from me then.

My mother quirks her lips, like she’s considering something in earnest, but her voice is full of sarcasm. “It’s obvious that you have some codependency issues. Is this because of your father?”

My eyes sore, surely bloodshot, and filled with every evil I want to inflict on her, I stare at her. Speaking slowly at first, I feel myself frantically escalating as I say, “I hate you. I really hate you. You’re the reason he left. Because he couldn’t stand you! And I don’t blame him—in fact, I wish he would have taken—”

And right then I feel Hardin’s hand clamp over my mouth and his strong arms pull me back against his chest.

Chapter thirty-nine

HARDIN

The whole time, I had just been thinking that her mum better not slap her again. I hadn’t really considered Tessa going on the offensive like this.

Her face is red, and her tears are pouring down my hand.

Why does her mum always have to ruin shit? I can’t blame her for being angry, regardless of how much I hate her. I did hurt Tessa. But I don’t think I ruined her.

Have I?

I don’t know what to do. I glance at my mum for help—the look she gives me lets me know that she hates me. I didn’t want her to know what I did to Tess. I knew it would kill her, especially after what happened before.

But I’m not the same person I was then. This is totally different.

I love Tessa.

Through all the chaos I caused, I found love.

Tessa screams into my hand and tries to push me off of her, but she isn’t strong enough. I know one of two things will happen if I don’t keep her away: either her mum will slap her and I’ll have to intervene, or Tessa will say something she’ll regret forever. “I think you need to go now,” I say to her mother.

Tessa is throwing a fit beneath my grip and keeps kicking her feet into my shins.

It’s always so unsettling to see her angry—especially this angry—although part of me is selfishly pleased that her anger isn’t directed at me this time.

It will be soon . . .

I know her mother is right about me: I am terrible for her. I’m not the man Tessa thinks I am, but I love her too much to let her leave me again. I just got her back, and I will not lose her again. I just hope that she’ll listen to me, listen to the entire story. Even then, I don’t think it will matter. I know it’s coming; there’s no way she’ll stay with me once she hears it. Fuck, why did my mum have to say anything?

I lead Tessa toward the bedroom. As we go, she twists so hard she spins us both around, so we’re facing her mom again. With one last hateful glare, she makes her point and lunges, but I hold tight.

Pulling her into our room, I let go and quickly slam the door and lock it.

And she turns her poisonous glare at me. “Why did you do that! You—”

“Because you’re saying things you know you’ll regret.”

“Why did you do that!” she yells. “Why did you stop me! I have so much shit to say to that bitch, it’s not even . . . I can’t even . . . !” She pushes her hands against my chest.

“Hey . . . hey . . . calm down,” I say, trying to remember that she’s displacing her anger at her mother toward me; I know she is.

I bring her face between my hands and gently move my thumbs across her cheekbones, making sure she keeps eye contact with me as her breathing slows. “Just calm down, baby,” I repeat.

The redness disappears from her cheeks, and she nods slowly.

“I’m going to make sure she leaves, okay?” I say so low that it’s almost a whisper.

She nods again and moves to sit on the bed. “Hurry up,” she demands as I leave the room.

When I walk into the living room, Tessa’s mother is there alone, pacing. She looks up at me sharply, like a jungle cat sensing prey. “Where is she?” she asks.

“She’s not coming out. You are leaving, and you’re not going to come back here. I mean it,” I say through my teeth.

She raises an eyebrow. “Are you threatening me?”

“You can take it however you want, but you need to stay away from her.”

This manicured woman, so put together and prim-looking, gives me a sly, hard look that I’ve only ever seen from people like those in Jace’s crew. “This is all your fault,” she says calmly. “You have brainwashed her; she doesn’t think for herself anymore. I know what you are doing. I’ve been with men like you. I knew you were trouble since the day I laid eyes on you. I should have had Tessa change rooms and prevented all of this. No man is going to want her after this . . . after you. Look at you.” She waves her hand in the air and turns toward the door.

I follow her out into the hallway. “That’s the point, isn’t it? That no man will want her, no man but me. She’ll never be with anyone but me,” I boast. “She will always choose me over you, over anyone.”

She spins and takes a step toward me. “You are the devil, and I’m not going to just go away. She is my daughter, and she’s too good for you.”

I nod my head several times quickly, then look at her flatly. “I’ll make sure to remember that when I’m burying myself into your daughter tonight.”


Tags: Anna Todd After Young Adult