“You’re in my bed. It will be warm in here for you tonight. I’ll sleep on the floor.” I grab a blanket and pillow from the closet and throw them on the ground between the bed and the fireplace. “The fire in the living room is out, and it’s late.” I don’t mention that I could get it going again in about sixty seconds, opting instead to keep that fact to myself.
“The bed is huge. You can sleep up here with me. I’m sure we can manage to stay on our own sides.”
My cock aches at the thought of not only having her in my bed but my being in it with her. Her voice once again penetrates my body and makes a chill run down my spine. What I wouldn’t give to have her read to me.
I turn to face her, the only light in the room from the fire behind me.
“You should undress.” I see her eyes grow wide with shock, and I realize how my words sound. “I mean that you actually stay warmer in cold weather if you’re naked. I mean, you should remove your coat and as many clothes as you’re comfortable removing. It will help keep you warm tonight in case it gets colder.”
I see her nod, and she sits up, removing her heavy coat. I can’t help the laugh that escapes me at her Christmas sweater. She looks down at her chest, and I think I can almost see her blush in the weak light.
She reaches under her sweater and I hear a click, and suddenly her sweater lights up. I actually laugh out loud, and I hear her laughter too as the room is illuminated by the blinking lights. “I should have thought of this when you said the power went out.” We both laugh a little more as she reaches under again, clicking the switch and turning it off. “Better save that for an emergency.”
I love the sound of her giggle, and my own cheeks hurt from smiling. I can’t remember the last time I felt so light and…happy.
Trying not to stare as she removes her sweater, I go around to the other side of the bed, sitting down and facing away from her. I remove my own shirt and slip off my sweatpants, leaving on just my underwear. I’ll be fine as long as I stay on my side of the bed. It’s a king-size, and I’d have to roll over a couple of times before we touched, so it should be totally okay.
When I’m as undressed as I think I can be, I lie on my back and look up at the ceiling. I feel my heart beating a thousand times a second as I try to breathe regularly. Why does it feel as if I just ran a marathon?
I feel the mattress move, and the top comforter rustles. Oh, God, she’s in bed with me. Noelle is in bed with me.
“Thank you, Alex. For everything.” I close my eyes as I listen to her words, her voice hypnotizing me. Suddenly, I feel her cool fingers touch my hand and run up my forearm. “I know this isn’t what you had planned tonight, but thank you for taking care of me.”
“Always,” I whisper as I feel her fingers leave my arm, and a silence falls between us.
Chapter 7
Noelle
I wake plastered to a warm, giant body. It takes me a moment to remember where I am. It all comes flooding back to me, but I stay perfectly still, not wanting to wake Alex. It’s still dark out, and I know if he finds out I’m awake I’ll have to move, and I’ll be so embarrassed. I can’t believe how easily I wrapped myself around him.
I guess I’m a cuddler. I’ve never had the opportunity to find out before if I am or not, but it’s pretty freaking clear now with how I’m all over the poor man. Not only did I crash his Christmas, but now I’m taking up his bed and every inch of his personal space.
It’s then I realize how truly all over him I am. I have one leg thrown over him, and it’s clearly resting on something very large…and very hard. Does that mean he’s awake? Do men get boners in their sleep? I try to recall the millions of romances novels I’ve read and narrated, like they’re all factual. I come up blank on the whole boners-when-asleep thing, not having read about it before.
I shuffle a little, making my leg move, and Alex lets out a moaning grunt. I go completely rigid like a dumbass, giving myself away. I wait, but the silence stretches, neither of us calling the other out.
I want to remain still, but my traitorous body takes over, needing to hear that sound again. I shuffle against him again, wanting more of his warmth to seep into me. I feel like burrowing so deep into his heat, I could never get out. I’d never be alone again.
Instantly, I’m on my back. Alex’s big body is over mine as he buries his face in my neck. He’s so big compared to me, and I’m completely covered beneath him. Fear doesn’t hit me at the sudden change in position. A strong dose of lust ripples up my spine and floods my system. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I’m immediately addicted.
I lift my hips, needing the contact, letting my legs fall open even more.
“Please. You have to stop.” His voice seems strangled and almost pained, but for some reason I can’t stop. It’s like I no longer have control of my body. Maybe this is what happens when you let yourself go without physical attention for so long. The need for human contact becomes stronger than you can control.
I grip his biceps, my nails digging into his firm muscles. I just need a little more pressure. It’s so close I can feel it. I push my hips up against him, using him for my pleasure. I drag my sex against his, but he remains completely still over me. His hold is firm and steady, and my hips move at just the right angle, and that’s all it takes. I explode against him, his name pouring from my lips and filling the silent room. The delicious pleasure cascades through my body as heat spreads between us.
I hold on to him so tightly, as if he’ll disappear if I release him. Not wanting to let this moment go, I cling to him. For so long I dreamed of having him over me and now that it’s a reality, I can’t let it end. The distance he’s always tried to keep between us vanishes in this moment, and I’m going to savor it.
When I start to come down, the reality of what I just did hits me. I just rubbed myself against him, using him for my own pleasure. I hear and feel his heavy breathing on top of me, both our bodies gasping for air, filling the silence that seems to hang between us constantly. It’s a silence I long to fill with words I can’t bring myself to say.
Then he’s gone. His warmth leaves my body, taking all of mine with him as he shoots from the bed. The blanket that was covering us hits the floor. The cold air makes goosebumps break out all over my body. He doesn’t say a word as he storms from the room, slamming the door behind him so hard I swear I feel the bed shake.
“Holy shit,” I whisper to myself. That’s when I feel the wetness that’s coating the outside of my underwear.
He came.
I thought cumming was a good thing. Clearly Alex isn’t happy about it. He stormed from the room like his ass was on fire. Oh, my God. Did I force myself on him? Wait, under him. Can you force yourself under someone?
I roll over, shoving my face into the pillows. Could this get any more awkward? What is wrong with me? Could I have been any clingier? I’m all too happy to crawl into his bed and strip down at his suggestion. A little self-conscious at the time, but that didn’t seem to stop me from throwing my clothes off and snuggling deep into his bed. I invited him to join me even after he seemed to want to sleep on the freaking floor.
Clue in, Noelle.
Frustrated, I grab the pillow and throw it across the room. Sitting up, I lean against the headboard and try to think of a way out of this. Maybe I could sneak out in the morning.
This is all so confusing. One minute I felt like he wants to be near me, as if he is longing for me like I am for him. Then the next, it’s like having cold water thrown on me.
I remember the sensation of him over me and how it felt so right. The way my hands gripped him tightly, never wanting to let go. The scars under my fingertips. The scars.
It all starts clicking together. He won’t look at me. My heart clenches. Does he really think I’m so vain, or do the scars just bother him that much? I haven’t seen all of him, but from what I’ve seen and felt, he’s perfect. How he could doubt himself, I have no idea. He is pure male perfection.
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I have my flaws, too. My skin may be free of scars, but I carry my own marks. I don’t have a perfect hard body like his. I have wide hips and thick thighs. I’m not what you’d call pretty or sexy. Maybe a nerdy kind of cute, but I’ve often thought I’m a little mousy. Random stretch marks litter my body. They’re not scars like his, but they mark me, and I often feel self-conscious about them.
Maybe I could show him it doesn’t matter to me. That none of it does. I didn’t fall for him because of what he looks like. Hell, I was half in love with him before I ever even saw him. Climbing from the bed, I unhook my bra and drop it to the floor, my panties following suit. I take a deep breath to calm my now-racing heart, and I give myself a pep talk. I can do this. It’s all or nothing.
At this point I’ve got nothing to lose. Either he wants nothing to do with me and I’ve lost him from my life, or maybe he does want something from me and is too scared to act on it. I can show Alex that I want him by baring myself to him like I want him to do for me.
When I’m standing in front of the door, I give myself one last pep talk. Stop living in your head, and take what you want. As I pull the door handle, I come face to face with Alex. He’s got both hands braced on the door, and his tall form towers over me.