She took me by the upper arms and turned me to face her. “You listen to me. You're a Vidal. You are strong. You were born strong, Maria. All of this you're feeling right now is just your hormones. They're all over the place. You're confused. It's understandable. You have feelings for Jett, but they'll fade in time. If you were in love with the man, I wouldn't be saying this, but you're not. This man Draven has chosen for you will be someone you'll grow to love.”
She just didn't have a clue.
“Draven would never force you to marry a man that would hurt you. He will have done extensive background checks on the guy, Maria. Any sign of physical violence against a woman and Draven wouldn't choose him.”
“But shouldn't I be the one to choose my husband? I get it, Draven is doing this for my own good. Whatever. I'll do what he wants me to do, but I won't be happy about it. I should be able to find my own husband, or at least have a say.”
She sighed deeply. “I get it, Maria, really I do. However, Draven has made his mind up. You have to do this for the sake of the family and your brother's honor.”
She was pissing me off. I got to my feet, anger boiling in my veins. How dare she sit there and try to make me feel like I had no choice? I didn't have a choice, but I wanted her to make me feel a little better, no worse.
“Is that what you thought about yourself? Or did you not care as long as you got to be with the man you love?”
“I wasn't thinking, Maria.”
“Yes, I know. Because all you were really thinking about was yourself!” She blinked, shocked at my outburst, but I'd had enough. “You couldn't be with the man you loved, couldn't save his life, so you tried to end your own! Don't you think that brought shame and dishonor to my brother? I may not be in love with Jett, but I would have married him regardless because he is the kind of man I could fall in love with, but I'm not allowed that chance, am I? My baby isn't allowed that chance. My brother is taking away my baby's chance to know its father!”
“First off,” She got to her feet. “What you said about me was harsh, Maria. I know what I did was selfish. I fucking know that!” My lip quivered as tears fell from her eyes. I'd hurt her and I didn't mean to, and I'd been selfish in only thinking about how I was feeling.
“I was lost, Maria. I was so lost. I tried everything to save Ghost. I literally begged on my damn knees at Draven's feet, begging him not to take the man I loved away from me. I told him that I'd do anything just as long as he didn't hurt me that way. He wouldn't listen. He forced me to watch while he beat the crap out of my man.”
I remember that. Avery came home so broken, and I had to hold her in my bed, all night long while she sobbed. It scared her, rocked her to the core so much she was literally shaking as she cried.
“When Hammer took me to the Snakes Henchmen clubhouse and allowed me to see Ghost one last time, I honestly believed it was the last time. Then Draven found me, and I honestly thought he'd killed Ghost then and there while I waited in his car. That night, at dinner, I don't remember what was going through my mind. I don't remember dragging that blade over my wrists, and I don't even remember how I got to the hospital. However, I remember waking up and feeling like a failure. Then Ghost was there, and I knew I'd be okay.
“I'm so sorry that you're going through this, Maria. If I could make Draven see that it would be better for you if you were with Jett, believe me, I would, but I can't, I can't do anything because he won't listen to anyone. He's made his mind up that you're marrying one of his men and that's that.”
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.
I knew at that moment there was nothing I could do to stop the inevitable. I had to marry whomever Draven told me to and forever live a lie.
“I'm sorry, Avery, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just don't know what to do anymore.”
She wrapped her arms around me, and I let her hold me, stroking the back of my head the way I did for her when she was so lost and alone.
“It's going to be okay, Maria. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but I promise it will all be okay. Don't let this ruin you. Hold strong. Never give up. I love you, and I will always be here for you and this little baby inside of you.”
“I love you, too.” And I do love her. So very much.
She was also right. I had to hold strong and never give up. Marrying a stranger isn't what I want, but I won't let it break me.
Whomever the guy is better not think he can grind me down. I am no man's doormat, not even my brother's. I'll marry this man because I have no choice but to do so, but I won't sleep with the pig and if he forces me? I'll kill him.
No man will ever force me to sleep with them and live.
I wouldn't be able to tell Draven if anything was going on in my marriage, that's not how things are done with people like us. A union between a man and a woman is sacred, private. It wouldn't matter if the man was beating the shit out of his wife and raping her every night, you don't talk about it.
I think I'm more scared that my “husband” will resent my baby and hurt it because it won't be his. I don't want my child to grow up in a home where its stepfather is a bully to us. I want my child to grow up in a house filled with love.
I guess that's why I know deep down this baby would be better off with Jett. I saw the love between Jett and his family at Avery's wedding. That's what I want for my child.
I know my brother would never allow me to hand my child over to its father. That's why I know I'd have to set something up legally. Hand over my rights to my child to its father without Draven finding out. My brother wouldn't be happy about it, but it would be my choice.
You're overthinking things, Maria. Don't give up so easily.
I don't see it as giving up, I see it as putting my child first. Isn't that what mother's do?
Chapter Seven
Maria
Three weeks I have sat in my room, not allowed to visit or have visitors. None since Avery left that night. Tony is now my personal bodyguard, and he is to guard me with his life. Should I try to leave then Tony is to call my brother immediately after dragging me back to my room, in any manner he sees fit.
I'm not going to try to leave, where the hell would I even go? I don't have an apartment anymore because Draven had my personal belongings packed up and brought here – because Jett hadn't managed to get my things before seeing his father.
Draven then rented the place out to one of his men. I mean, I know I've done something terrible by getting knocked up by a bad boy biker, but is he really that ashamed of me that he'd have me locked up like this? Locked up and away from the outside world?
He didn't go this far with Avery. He had her shadowed, but he didn't lock her up. She was still allowed out of the house if she wanted to go. I feel like I'm not even allowed to do that.
I hate this right now.
I'm meeting my future husband tonight at dinner. A man Draven told me will take the baby on as his own and take care of us both so that no one else ever needs to know what I've done. I took it from that no one outside of his house, meaning him, Tony, Avery, Ghost, Hammer, and Willow know about the baby.
Of course, the whole Snakes Henchmen motorcycle club know about what happened between Jett and me, but I'm assuming my brothers have sworn them all to secrecy upon pain of death.
I tried to tell Draven that Jett would never let another man raise his child, that he'd tell people the truth, that he'd want to know his ch
ild. My brother has no right to push Jett out like that. Draven said to me that Jett knows to keep his mouth shut or he'll kill Jett's whole family right in front of his eyes. That hurt me so much because I knew he meant it.
I tried to appeal to his softer, sweeter side. I wanted to make him understand how Jett must be feeling. This baby inside of me is of his blood, and he has rights. He must be so hurt by all of this. Draven didn't care. He told me that Jett was nothing more than a filthy biker, who had no feelings, and he'd soon get over it by fucking around with any slut that he comes into contact with.
I then tried to tell him that I didn't want this, I don't want to marry a man I don't know. I tried to tell him that I want to be with Jett, with my baby's father, the man I think I'm falling for.
How the hell can you fall for a man you don't really know?
I have no idea, and it's not like I can tell my heart to stop falling for him. However, Draven was firm in the way he told me, “Get the fuck over it, Maria!”
I don't think I'll ever be able to get over this. Of all the evil things my brother has ever done in his life, I never expected him to treat me like this. He's never done anything to hurt me before this. He's always been there for me, always loved me. I don't doubt that he loves me, and I know deep down he thinks he's doing what's right for me, but this isn't what's right, and I don't know how to show him that.
He gave me an order to dress conservative tonight. I have to look respectable for my future husband. So he chose, yes, he chose a light blue, tee-style dress, silk, with a lace finish. I don't know what my brother thinks I am, but I am certainly not a damn doll! I'll do what he's asked me of tonight, but I draw the damn line at being told what to wear! It won't be happening again.
I tie my long dark hair in a high ponytail and hope my makeup is light enough to make me look slightly innocent. Fat chance of that happening, but I'll do what I'm told because there's no way out of this.