They shaved every inch of me, good job I'd already had a wax down there, or I'm sure they'd have tried to shave me there too!
They creamed up my body, powered me, sprayed all sorts of body sprays and perfumes on me. It began to choke me at one point. As I sat in my robe while having my hair styled, all I could think about was Jett and the fact I'll never get to be with him in any way again.
Never again will I get to feel his lips against mine, my hands on his skin, his hands touching me. I'll never be able to touch him in return. Never hear him telling me that I belong to him.
Of course, I smiled and chatted with fake happiness in my voice with the female members of my family helping me get ready. I kept the charade going, didn't want anyone thinking I was unhappy with my choice of husband, even if he wasn't my choice. I think I did quite well in faking it. No one seems to have noticed anything anyway.
However, now, it's time. I can't put it off any longer. Goddamn time seems to have rushed by in the blink of an eye. Now everyone is inside the church waiting for me. It's just my brother and me on the outside. I'm nervous. I feel like I might throw up. However, I push it back and take a deep breath. I loop my arm with my brother's. I guess I'm getting married.
“Ready?” My brother smiles at me. However, I'm not ready, not yet.
“Wait,” I grab his arm. He turns to me with narrow brows. “There's something I have to say first before we go in.”
“What is it, sweetheart?”
“I just wanted to say thank you,” He's looking at me like I'm crazy. I know he always tells me that I don't need to say thank you for anything, but I want to say it now.
Jovanni already informed me the other day that once we're married, he won't allow me to spend much time with my brother. We'll be moving into our own house away from Draven and his influence, and I'm not to defy him because he'll make me sorry I ever did.
Nothing he ever did would keep me away from my brother. Draven wouldn't allow it anyway, but I didn't say anything to Jovanni, just nodded my head like I agreed with him. God, he'll have a big shock when we are married.
“I want to thank you for everything you've ever done for me. I don't know if I've ever thanked you properly. I know I've been difficult this past month. I shouldn't have been. I know you've only ever done what's best for me. Thank you for letting me keep my baby, and for sorting out the mess, I made of my life.” I swallow back my emotions hard. I am so very grateful to my brother, and I'm not saying any of this to make him feel guilty. I just think it's time.
“You didn't make a mess of your life, Maria.” I lower my head, but he slides his hand against my cheek, careful not to touch my up-do. “You're going to have a very happy marriage with a husband who will love you so well.” Sure he will. “Your baby is going to want for nothing.”
Except for its father. However, I don't say that to him; it will only make things worse.
Gently, he kisses my forehead, but all I want to do is hug him tightly. I know I should be angry with him for doing this, but I can't hate him for loving me.
I could never hate him for anything. That's why I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head against his powerful chest. I sense his smile as he wraps his big arms around me.
“I love you, Dray.”
“And I love you, Principessa. Everything is going to be all right.” With a kiss to my head, he asks me if I'm finally ready. I chuckle and tell him, yes.
I don't want to look up as we walk through those double doors, but I know I have to paint on the big smile for my family. I will not look at Jovanni though until I absolutely have to.
I smile at my family, most of the women are already crying and saying how beautiful I look. I may look beautiful in my wedding dress, the dress that has a specialized panel across my torso to hide my baby bump, which it does beautifully, but I feel anything but inside. I feel ugly. I feel like I'm doing something terrible, probably because I am. My stomach is churning horribly because of it.
However, I keep the smile on my face and nod appropriately. My eyes widen a little when I see the members of Jett's MC sitting in the congregation. I'm a bit confused as to why they'd be here. I knew Hammer and Willow would be here, Avery and Ghost also, but I wasn't expecting the rest of them Each biker is wearing a suit, shockingly. Each of their women is dressed in beautiful, elegant dresses. Even the children of the MC are in attendance, and each one looks so beautiful.
My eyes scan each of them, looking for Jett, but he's not here. I don't know if I'm happy about that or not. It's good that he's not here so he can't make a scene. However, it also hurts that he's not because he promised me that I wouldn't have to go through with this, that he'd make sure of it, but I knew deep down that it wouldn't happen. There's no way he'd even get through the door without one of my brother's men stopping him.
I look at my brother for a second, our steps never faltering, bringing me closer to the altar and Jovanni. What is my brother up to? He'd never invite bikers to my wedding, except for Avery and Ghost, Sam and his wife, of course, and even though they're here, Sam won't make eye contact with me, as much as I want him to, and I do want him to. I want him to show me some kind of love. He and Draven aren't best friends or anything, but they are carving out a brotherly relationship.
What is it about me that he doesn't like? I've wracked my brains, again and again, to figure out if there's something that I do that annoys him. Is it the way I dress? The way I speak? Am I hideous, is that it?
I know it must be me because he's okay with Avery, they have a great relationship, and whether that's because she's married to Ghost or not, Hammer acknowledges that she's his cousin.
I don't have time to think about Sam – Hammer – whatever he calls himself, or anything else for that matter because we've come to a stop at the altar. My eyes are everywhere. The flowers along the pews and all down the aisle, the huge bouquets at the altar, the beautiful members of my family and... Wait, where the hell is Jovanni's family?
I know he has a family; he told me when he couldn't stop talking about himself all about his mother and Nonna, who were coming in from Italy. They really should have been here days ago to help with the wedding. It's a tradition. However, I don't see them. I know every person here, my family, the MC, my brother's men at every door and all around the huge church. Tony is here looking like one of the men in black.
If I turn and run, do you think I'd make it out of here without anyone stopping me?
A girl can dream, right?
I close my eyes and breath deeply. There's no going back now. My brother lifts my veil over my head, and it drops past the crystal clip in the back of my hair. He then kisses my cheek and squeezes my hand. He winks at me and then takes a step back.
I hand my posy t
o Abrianna. She looks gorgeous in her bridesmaid dress of silver. It's floor-length and strapless. She's one of five bridesmaids that I chose, including Avery. Well, I chose the two of them, and my aunts pushed the others on me. They're all dressed the same. My brother wanted it that way.
You wouldn't believe this was my wedding.
I take another deep breath before turning to the priest. I should smile, but I can't seem to force one. As he starts to speak Jovanni tries to take my hand in his. I snatch mine away instinctively. I will not have him touching me. I know I can't put it off forever, but right now? No, thank you.
He leans into me, and I try not to breathe in. I don't even want to smell him. “You don't want to hold my hand, princess?” He whispers toward me, and it's like something shot through me. It can't be.
My head shoots to the man by my side, and the man I see is not the man I expected to see. He smiles at me, but I think I'm a little in shock. I look to my brother, who winks at me. I can't believe this.
“What's going on?” I ask, stopping the priest in his tracks, who then asks if everything is okay, and should he continue. “Draven?”
My brother gets out of his seat and comes toward me. I'm scared. I know that's stupid, but I am. He cups my face with one hand and tells me, “You are my world, Maria. I would do anything to make you happy. Marrying Jovanni was making you anything but happy.” A tear falls from my eye, and I'm fighting the urge to ball my eyes out.
“Someone told me that I was being unfair.” My eyes follow his to Sam. He's not looking at us, he's looking anywhere but, which is typical for him. However, if he hated me that much, why would he say that to Draven? Unless he did it for Jett. Yeah, that's more like it.
“That same someone told me that you marrying the father of your child wasn't such a bad choice and that you'd be just as safe, just as Avery is with Ghost. I have his word, you see.” I giggle-sob and wipe tears from my cheeks. I'm ruining my makeup! It's waterproof, but still.