I never wanted to turn into my father, but if I sit back and look at what I'm doing, am I really any different from the man who forced my mother to marry him?
I may be like him, but I have to protect my sister from the life these men lead. Fucking motorcycle riders? They have no morals, no sense of pride. I don't care what my brother tells me, Jett is not the man for Maria. Jovanni might not have been her choice, but he'll take care of her, he'll take care of her baby. The baby I know in my heart Maria will sneak to meet with its father. How long could I honestly keep the kid from him?
I don't know if Maria really has fallen in love with Jett, but I do know that once she's married, there is no way she'll step out on her husband. She won't be able to leave him without coming to the famiglia and giving a damn good reason as to why.
I've already made her a prisoner in my home. I took away her apartment and her job. She sits in her room day in and day out, never wanting to be around anyone. Hammer is right with what he said about me allowing Jett to sneak into my house to see Maria. I don't know how long it's been going on exactly, but I saw him jump over the wall the other day. I saw him scale the wall that leads to Maria's bedroom. I stormed up those stairs so fast, gun in hand, ready to shoot the cunt then and there, I thought my feet were on fire. I was prepared to kill him right in front of Maria just to put an end to all of this.
However, I didn't shoot him. I didn't even open Maria's bedroom door. I just stood on the outside and listened to my baby sister crying, bringing back the awful memories I have of my mother doing the same thing. My mother was never allowed to find real love. Even when she did leave my father and divorce him, he forced her back to him not long after. Stalked her, beat her, did God only knows what else to her.
I had my hand on the doorknob when I heard Jett telling Maria that everything would be okay, that he'd never let anything happen to her. Then I heard her beg him not to do anything that would get him killed, that their baby would need him. I was shaking with adrenaline, I was angry, but I couldn't for the life of me work out who I was more upset with Jett or myself.
I heard Jett telling Maria how she meant everything to him. That he didn't know what she'd done to him, but he couldn't get her out of his head. All he wanted to do was take her home with him where he could take care of her.
I felt my heart crack when she sobbed to him how she didn't want to do this, get married to Jovanni, that she was scared and just wanted to be with Jett.
I walked away and left them to talk. Maria needed it right then. She needed to let out whatever was inside of her. It was stupid of me to allow it to keep happening. My brother is right about that. I should have put a stop to it that very night, but I can be a cruel bastard, and I knew it would hurt Jett more the closer he got to Maria only to lose her to another man. Once she was married, he'd have to live knowing he'd never be with her again, but who have I really hurt by allowing this? That's right my sister.
I sat in my room that night thinking about everything. It's expected of me to make sure Maria abides by the rules of the famiglia as much as everyone else. After Avery went and fell for one of those filthy bikers, the family were not happy at all. Even less that I finally caved and not only let him live but allowed the two to marry. I took out a fair few of my men because of that. I won't be told I'm wrong, even if I am. The Don is never wrong!
The way I saw it, it was either allow it or lose Avery, because I had no doubt she'd again try to take her own life, and maybe she would have succeeded next time.
If I allowed Maria to be with Jett, it would cause an uproar. I'd be ridiculed for not being able to keep my sister in line. I can't have my men ridiculing me again. It was bad enough when I claimed Hammer as my brother. God, the men I killed because of that one. I'll never deny my brother. I don't give a damn who he is and where he came from.
So then why can't I allow Maria to be with whom she so obviously loves? Jett is no different from the brother I love more than life itself. Not really. They run with the same club, just as Ghost does. He's proved himself to me, showed that he can take care of Avery and be a good father to their son.
I have no real reason to doubt Jett could do the same.
“Maybe you should speak to the man and find out just why he wants to be with Maria so badly. He won't lie to you, that much I guarantee. I know appearance and respect are everything to you, Draven, but maybe you should learn the meaning of them.” Is the last Hammer says before he walks out of my door.
I'm done thinking about this shit. I have a speech to prepare.
Chapter Eleven
Maria
I can't stop thinking about him. Jett. After sneaking into my room the other night and fucking me against the balcony windows, he's been back every night since. Each night he makes love to me. Each night he takes me away from here to a place that only we'll ever know, even if it is just in spirit.
It's risky that he comes here, but I don't think I could get through each day and the plans I'm forced to be part of if I didn't see him. I don't know how he gets past my brother, no one has ever been able to do that before, and I am scared for him each time, but I'm selfish in my need for him.
It's not just sex that he comes here for, we talk, a lot, actually. We talk about our dreams and what life would be like if we could be together. It sounds like such a beautiful life. The house we'd have, the big garden where our child would play with the medium sized dog we'd get so our little one wouldn't be lonely.
I'm happy while he's here, or at least, I keep that mask firmly placed. When he leaves, I cry myself to sleep. My heart aches to be with him all the time, and it hurts so much to know that I never will be.
When did my life get so out of hand? Sneaking around each night with my baby's outlaw biker father, spending my days organizing a wedding I want no part of but have no choice in attending. All because my brother refuses to let me go back to my accounting job. I now have no job and no home, I'm just a prisoner in my brother's house, until I become a prisoner in my husband's.
Draven has made everything beautiful for the wedding I'll give him that. He's picked the most beautiful Church for Jovanni and me to get married in, and I have a beautiful white dress. Mermaid style, custom made for me by one of the top designers in the world. It has diamonds all over the bust area, and they're real, tiny diamonds, hundreds of them. Draven insisted on them. Everything is as Draven insisted. The car that will be driven by Lorenzo is a beautiful cream Bentley. There will be ribbon attached to the hood of the car. My flowers are a bouquet of white roses because they were my mother's favorite, and I always said that when I got married, that's what I want in my posy.
All of our family will be there, even those who still live in Italy have flown over for my big day. Of course, my father won't be there because he's not welcome with the family and hasn't been since I was thirteen.
I've sat back a couple of times and asked myself if he'd be doing this to me if he was in Draven's position. Would he be forcing me into a loveless marriage with a man I can't stand? Then I realize he'd do just that, anyone in my family would. The family is everything, and outsiders aren't welcome.
However, then I wonder, how does Sam fit into the family? I know Draven loves Sam and would do anything for him, and I know that he loves me too, he's only doing this because he thinks it's the right thing. I love him for that. He did the same thing with Avery. I just wish he could see this from my point of view. I wish he could see how much pain I'm in.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I don't cry in front of him, and I don't make big scenes in front of people, I would never do that. I'm polite to the guests that have been around for the past few days. I wouldn't want to embarrass my brother. However, it's hard when I'm alone to think of anything but the sad, lonely life that's soon going to be mine.
I don't even know Jovanni well enough for this. Okay, I don't really know Jett either, but we have a connection. One that makes it feel like we've always known each other. However, Jovanni and I have nothin
g in common.
What the hell are we supposed to talk about?
What happens on our wedding night when he wants me to fulfill my wifely duties?
What will he do when I shrink away from him?
Because there is no way, I can have him touch me like that. Just thinking about having sex with him makes me vomit, and I do mean literally. However, I won't be able to fob my husband off indefinitely. It will be expected of me to make my marriage work.
I'm scared, and that's the truth. I'm afraid because I know he'll take it from me. It's required that we consummate our marriage on the wedding night. It doesn't matter that I'm pregnant with another man's baby. I'm going to have to lie there and let Jovanni take me, do whatever he wants to my body, but there's no way on earth I will ever do anything but lie there. Never will I make love to him.
Draven can tell me as many times as he likes that I'll learn to love Jovanni, I know that I never will, this isn't a fairytale where the guy takes the girl and forces her to love him, and, in the end, she really does fall for him because he turns out to be everything she ever wanted. Fairytales are bullshit!
Then there's the fact I have no clue how we're going to get around the fact I'm already four months pregnant, no one within the family yet knows I'm pregnant. What are we supposed to tell them? That my baby is four months premature?
My brother really hasn't thought that one through.
I sigh to myself and take a drink of my orange juice. A few of my cousins and friends are over tonight, each one drinking, laughing, the night before the wedding. Me? I'm sitting with my feet under my ass on my brother's couch, wearing leggings, and an oversized sweater shirt, when I should be dressed in an elegantly like the rest of them. However, I'm not like the rest of them, not anymore.