“I can take you to see him tomorrow.”
“Yes,” I said, nodding.
“I think he likes it when you come.”
I smiled, swirling a spoon around the beef and vegetables. “He doesn’t like it enough to wake up.” My mood plummeted. “If he doesn’t soon, his father won’t have a choice but to take him off life support.”
“That won’t happen. You woke up. He will, too.”
I tried to smile, but I’d forgotten how.
“Maybe you should … maybe you should visit your aunt in Florida? I know you two got closer while she was here.”
“She wants me to move.”
“I can’t agree to that, but the sunshine would do you some good.”
“There’s sunshine here,” I mumbled.
“Not like Florida. She lives a block away from the beach, right? Imagine being able to swim in the ocean whenever you want. That would be epic.”
“I’m not leaving Josh.”
Deb poured me a glass of orange juice, and then one for herself. “This would be much better with vodka.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“What were you thinking for dinner tonight?” she asked. “I can make something quick or grab something for you, and then I have to go.”
“Don’t worry about me, Deb. I appreciate you, you know that, but I’m not helpless. Go do whatever. Are you going to Corner Hole?”
“No. I don’t know,” she said with a coy smile.
I set down my glass and arched an eyebrow. “What are you up to, Hamata? Are you holding out on me?”
She shook her head. “I can’t tell you. I would be a huge dick if I did.”
“I’m your best friend. Do not think for a second I can’t be happy for you.”
“I have a date,” she said, immediately cringing.
I smiled for the first time in weeks, grabbing her hand across the table. “Deborah Keiko Hamata! With who?”
She hesitated, then looked down at her glass. “Quinn.”
“What?” I squealed.
“If I’d known you were going to actually show a real smile, I’d have told you a week ago.”
“You’ve kept this from me for a week?” I said, a little hurt.
“I’m sorry.”
“No. It’s okay. I understand why you did.”
“No. I’m sorry I have a date with Quinn. It might not even happen. He’s been texting me nonstop, and then today … nothing.”
“Don’t be sorry. It gives me hope,” I said, looking out the window with a smile. The world was going on with me—without Josh. The branches were almost bare. Halloween was just a few days away. I closed my eyes, wondering how I would make it through the first snowfall, through Christmas without Josh. “And don’t worry. Quinn’s probably just busy at work. It’s a full moon tonight.”
“So … dinner?” Deb asked.
“I was thinking Japanese. JayWok is right down the street.”
Deb nodded. “You sure? I really don’t mind.”
“I’m sure. I’ve been craving it all day, actually.”
“I can get takeout, or I can call them and have them deliver.” She raked back her dark hair, looking guilty.
“I’m really fine,” I said. “I feel like I need to go in. Sit down and have a meal. I’ve missed Coco and Jeremy, and … it’ll be good for me to get out.”
“You’re right. You need to walk and breathe in that fresh fall air. I just … I just want you to be okay.”
I made Deb leave early so she could get ready for her date. She waved to me from the street before she slid into her car and drove away.
I walked across the room to the bathroom, slow but without a limp. All traces of the accident were gone, the bruises had faded, my bones had healed.
I spent the day cleaning my apartment, running the vacuum, folding laundry, and hand-washing the few dishes in the sink. I showered after Bobbi, my physical therapist, said good-bye. We only had a few appointments left. If nothing else felt stronger, my bones and muscles did.
My stomach gurgled, and I reached down, realizing I’d skipped lunch. I made my way to the bathroom, feeling the strange sensation of excitement bubbling in my chest.
I dabbed on a bit of makeup, brushed my hair and teeth, and pulled my hair up into a messy bun. My face was beginning to fill out again, and although I still had a way to go, I was beginning to look like my old self.
The bolt lock on my door clicked when I twisted the key, and I turned, reaching for the railing to carefully navigate the stairs. I tried to leave my cane behind more and more, forcing my body to acclimate to walking without one.
I pulled my jacket around me, realizing too late and too many stairs later that a heavier coat would be more appropriate. My gaze instinctively pulled toward the curb where my car would normally be parked behind Josh’s.
I took my time crossing the street, soaking up the sun, and waving to the motorists waiting patiently for me to reach the other side.
JayWok smelled of soy sauce and memories, and I inhaled as deeply as I could. My legs were shaking from muscle fatigue, but I was determined to make it all the way to my favorite booth in the back. My stomach rumbled when I reached my destination, sliding all the way across the seat, next to the window. I lifted my face to the sun, breathing in, trying to remember what it was like to be happy. All my best memories were with Josh. I wasn’t sure I wanted to make new ones.
Coco approached my table, beaming. “I was wondering when you would get your fanny in here. How’ve you been?”