My heart warmed.
Also... oh, no.
No one dared to speak.
So Twitch looked around the table before landing on his brother and smirking sharply. “Does my existence make you uncomfortable?”
Zep turned to his father. “Think I’mma head out.”
Papa Tony looked positively heartbroken, and when his eyes scanned Twitch’s hard face, he began softly, placating, “Tony—”
A loud thump sounded, making my body jolt, and when Twitch’s balled fist came down on the table hard enough to shake the table, we all watched the wine glasses jolt then fall, followed by the shrill sound of glass shattering as one rolled off the edge of the table to the ground. And when Twitch spoke, I’d never heard such raw fury.
His expression manic, his eyes lowered, he spoke through gritted teeth, and my entire body broke out into goose bumps. “My name is Twitch.” He kept his voice low. “Christened on the streets by my real family, Pops.” He said Pops like it was a derogatory word.
Twitch turned to face Zep. “You don’t want a brother?” His lips pursed as he nodded. “No issues here, man, but...”
All of a sudden, he got up and strode back into the house. We all looked around at each other, unsure of what was happening, but when Twitch returned to his seat, he held in his hands something that made my heart stutter.
He held the photo between his fingers and held it out to Zep. “But this little boy—” He paused to turn the photograph toward his own face and he looked down at our son fiercely. “—this beautiful little boy—” He turned the photo back to his brother. “—he’s got your blood running through his veins, and he don’t got much family. I know he’d love another uncle, a real uncle, and you’d fuckin’ love him too because he’s goddamn lovable. So, make a decision, man. In or out?” He shot him an unemotional glance. “I’ll let you take your anger at your pops out on me because you don’t mean shit to me, but I dare ya to try that shit on my kid.” His eyes narrowed perilously, and his voice was just over a whisper. “I fuckin’ dare ya.” The cold stare extended to his father. “And you....”
Twitch stopped himself, shaking his head rapidly and letting out a harsh breath. He stood so quickly the chair he sat on flew backward with a bang that made my heart pound, and when he strode toward me, I sat up straighter, expectantly.
Looking thoroughly distressed, he took my head in his hands and put his face close to mine, his eyes imploring. “I thought I could do it, but I can’t.” The kiss he planted on my lips was bruising.
I watched him walk into the house and heard the front door slam behind him. His car started, and then he was gone.
Chapter
Thirty-Four
Twitch
It was late when I drove back from Julius and Ana’s. I shouldn’t have been driving at all, but I wanted to get home to my girl. I hadn’t seen my son all day, and I knew he’d be in bed, but I still needed to see him before I passed out, which I felt would be soon. So I drove slowly, as carefully as a drunken man could.
The moment I pulled into the driveway, the front door opened and Lexi stepped out of the house in her tiny silken robe, her face drawn, her mouth tight, looking apprehensive as fuck. And I felt like an asshole.
I stepped out of the car and approached slowly on unstable legs. Why I said what I did was anyone’s guess, but I announced it magnificently. “I’m drunk.”
“I know.” She pressed into my side, sliding a shoulder under my arm, and I relaxed, putting my weight on her. “Julius called.” She looked up at me, her eyes warm, but her tone was irritated. “You should have let him call you a cab.”
“I know,” I told her because she was right. How lucky a prick was I to have this woman who loved me and put that shit down unconditionally? She was everything that was good in this screwed up world, and she was mine. My lips pulled up at the sides as I squinted through heavy lids. “Do you even know how much I love you?”
“No.” She walked me inside, and asked an amused, “How much do you love me?”
“A lot,” I told her, and the sound of her soft chuckle made me want to give her everything she ever desired in life.
And I would.
I’d do that for her.
Do anything for her.
My baby.
“Where’s the party?” I said a little too loudly when we got inside, and she put a finger to my lips, hushing me. I lowered my tone. “Everyone’s gone?”
“Manda and Vander are staying with Julius and Ana. They just left. But—” She side-eyed me cautiously. “—Zep and Papa Tony were going to check into a hotel, and...” she hesitated before going on, “I thought that was silly, seeing that you have a place across the street that’s going unused, so I told them they could stay there.” Her eyes searched my face carefully. “The refused repeatedly, but I insisted, and eventually they gave in.”
My stomach lurched, but I stood tall before leaning in and putting my face close to hers. “You are a good woman.”
She smiled then, and I knew I’d take on the entire fuckin’ world to keep my queen content.
Stumbling, I moved down the hall toward A.J.’s room, and Lexi followed closely behind as I walked in as quietly as I could, kneeling by his bed and putting a gentle hand to his head. I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I watched his chest move up and down as he breathed easily in his sleep.
I stood, walking by my beautiful, blue-eyed angel. She said, “C’mon. Let’s go to bed.”
But my fuckin’ feet weren’t working well. On top of that, my head was spinning. I made it as far as the sofa before I lowered myself, putting my hands to the floor then sitting back against the couch. And Lexi watched me a moment before coming to sit behind me, her legs at either side of my head. I rubbed my stubbly cheek against her knee and watched in captivation as goose bumps lined her skin.
“I’m tryin’ to be a good dad,” I told the darkened room.
“I know you are,” she replied softly, running a soft hand through my hair.
“I love him so much it scares me.”
She let out a light laugh. “I know the feeling.”
As she ran a hand down my cheek, I muttered, “I just want him to look at me and not see the piece of shit I am.” Tilting my head back to look at her, I asked quietly, “How do I do that?”
Lexi was my world, but that little boy, my boy... he was my entire universe. The thought of someone trying to keep me from him was unconscionable. I would do anything to be near him. Nobody could keep me away.
I’d fuckin’ like to see somebody try.
The small hand at my cheek stilled, and when it came under my chin, holding me in place, her face bent over mine, and she stated firmly, “You are not a piece of shit.” When I only blinked at her, she leaned in, putting her nose to mine. “Do you understand me?”
I was though. Lex just couldn’t see it. She only ever saw what she wanted to see of me, and that made me a lucky bastard because she only ever tried to see the best in me.
Instead of speaking, I lifted my face, and when our lips touched, I kissed her backward and she breathed life back into my cold, unfeeling body.
She was my bible. The pages. The ink. The prayers. And I would revere her till the day I died, took my place, and waited for her on the other side. I wasn’t a holy man, but I believed that shit in my fuckin’ soul.
Nothing could part us. Not even death. Death could try, but I’d beaten it before and I’d do it again if need be.
Anything to stay with my woman.
But something was bothering me, and when I moved to stand, my woman helped me without judgment. And when I was on my feet again, I shuffled toward the front door. Immediately, Lexi put her hand to it, stopping me from exiting. “Where do you think you’re going?” She added sternly, “We’re going to bed.”
“Look,” I told her, blinking slowly, “I gotta have a word with the sperm donor.”
“Not tonight you’re not.” Her brows furrowed and her lips pa
rted before she put a hand to her hip, looking bossy, and domineering, and sexy as hell. “You’re drunk.”
I needed her to understand. “I need to say what I have to say now because tomorrow...” I felt stupid saying what I said. “I’m not gonna have the guts to say what I need to say, baby.”
My sheer honesty struck a chord. Even in my fucked up state, I could see that.
She watched me carefully a long time before sighing. “You’re not going to start another fight, are you?”
“I don’t plan to,” I uttered honestly, but I didn’t know what would happen when I got there.
Her eyes closed and she took her hand off the door, and I loved her for knowing I needed to do this. I turned the knob and headed out on rocky legs. When I made it to my house, I knocked on the door, and when it opened, Zep stood there. The asshole didn’t open up for me, so I pushed my way in.
This is my fuckin’ house, bitch.
“Where’s the old man?” I asked, looking around my space.
“He’s in bed,” Zep uttered tightly. “He’s not well.”
“I need to talk to him.”