Not wasting any time, I shower quickly before climbing into the stale-smelling bed.
An hour later, and I’m listening to a concerto. Cries of passion and pain emanate from the room next to mine. I fall asleep to the raw sounds of sex as Ling turns Chip bad for the evening.
My marriage wasn’t always this way. In the beginning, it was everything I could have hoped for. In fact, I had secretly wished for a husband like Dino. He held me together. He was supportive and patient and kind. Dino swiftly became my rock.
Having dated for six months before our wedding, I quickly learned Dino Gambino was a sweet, funny man. I loved that he was possessive and kept me in arm’s reach, always touching me, seeking comfort and warmth. It was nice to be needed by someone for once in my life.
What I hadn’t expected was the bond we had formed in the short time we had known each other. It was the two of us against the world. Comrades. And soon enough, he became my best friend, the person I called when I just needed to vent about my father or hear a familiar voice. He always made me smile and laugh. His happy-go-lucky attitude was contagious. Dino could always pull me out of one of my dark moods.
The day we married, I looked up into the eyes of my best friend and said “I do” without hesitation.
I considered myself lucky. How many people could say they had married their best friend?
My sisters watched us in awe, amazed that two people in an arranged marriage could be so happy. It gave them hope.
As the ceremony completed and we shared our first kiss as man and wife, Dino dipped me, and I clutched at him as we laughed into each other’s mouth. Both families erupted in a roar of applause and catcalls.
We truly were united, then and forever.
Till death do us part.
That night, Dino took me to our new home. That’s when it got awkward, for me anyway. I was a virgin. During one of our late night conversations, I had confessed this, my face warming with a harsh blush. I smacked my palm to my forehead in the deafening silence that followed.
Duh! I was an eighteen-year-old daughter of a mob boss. Of course I was a virgin.
But Dino just chuckled, and the rough sound washed over me like a safety blanket. “I know, Bella. Don’t worry about that right now. We’ll talk about it when we need to.”
He just made it so easy for me to be me, and I appreciated that to no end.
Regardless of how awkward I was, Dino took me in his arms and kissed me. We had shared kisses before, but they were nothing like this one.
This one was slower, deeper, much more precise, and I felt something stir inside of me.
Sure, Dino was my friend, but he was also my husband, not to mention stunning. This was his husbandly right. I believed in living marriage in every sense of the word. I wanted children, and there was only one way to achieve that goal.
As he pulled away and his lips left mine, I felt the loss deep inside me. He looked down into my eyes. “Is this okay?”
I nodded immediately, enthusiastically, and he huffed out a laugh before his lips were on mine once more. He touched me in all the right places, and for a moment, I was appalled at my body’s reaction to him. It was only after Dino explained that everything that was happening was a good thing that I began to relax.
With no mother or aunts to tell me what to expect, all I could do was rely on Dino and trust him.
Who else could I ask about sex? My father? My brother?
I don’t think so.
He undressed me with such care and kissed me in places I had never been kissed before. I was lost to myself. I willingly placed my body in Dino’s care.
As he began to undress, I watched in silence. The more clothes he removed, the higher I drew the sheet, hiding behind it. When the final piece of clothing was removed to reveal the one part of a man I had never seen before, I dropped the sheet, blinking in shock.
That was it?
How the hell was that going to fit where it needed to fit?
I was no doctor, but I quickly deduced that the only way that would fit inside of me was with major surgery.
He stepped closer to me. I drew back.
Sensing my hesitation, he asked what was wrong. Swallowing and blinking, I made no effort to hide my curiosity. After a short while, I opened my mouth, my voice a mere hush. “This is going to hurt.”
Dino’s smiling face fell then softened, and to my surprise—and disappointment—so did the part of him I was so interested in. My stomach twisted in a flurry of conflicting emotions. I was part relieved, part saddened.
He climbed into the bed and pulled me into his side. I was naked, but I didn’t hesitate; I held onto him like I had a hundred times before. This was my husband, and I would not be ashamed in front of him. It was obvious the thought of hurting me was enough to put him out of the mood. I took this as a good sign.
“Yes, this is going to hurt.” When my body went rigid in his arms, he gently ran his fingers down my back, soothing me. “But it won’t last long. And it’s only the first time. I promise. It’s the price you pay for the ultimate pleasure.”
I nearly pouted. Nearly. “I don’t see it hurting you.”
His body shook underneath me in silent laughter. “You wound me, Alejandra.” I felt his lips on my forehead. “I’ve been in constant pain for six months straight.”
I lifted my face to look into his eyes. I was confused. “Why?”
He searched my face then gently cupped my cheek. “Been hard, baby.” He emphasized this by pressing his hips to mine, his hard length burning hot at my stomach.
My eyes widened in surprise.
He had been like this for six months?
Poor Dino.
I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, let my husband suffer a day longer.
Pasting on a smile, I leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his warm lips. I kissed him invitingly. Needing no further encouragement, his arms came around me, pulling me closer. We spent hours exploring each other, and I was shocked but pleasantly surprised at the experience of my very first orgasm.
Dino was right.
It hurt.
But he was right a second time.
The pain passed.
As Dino found his release, I lay in his arms and found myself wondering when he would want to do it again. I established rather quickly that Dino wanted to do it whenever our schedules allowed it, and at times, even when they didn’t.
I wasn’t exactly displeased by this. I liked sex. More importantly, I liked sex with my husband.
For five months, our relationship was amazing.
Then one night, Dino confessed he was in love with me.
To say I was stunned was putting it mildly. I was dumbfounded.
Dino was a smart man. We both came into this marriage knowing what it was. I was happy with the idea of having a strong friendship with my husband, and, of course, I had a deep regard for him. I didn’t want to see him unhappy. But I didn’t love him. And I couldn’t understand why he would complicate our relationship with flowery emotions.
I responded with, “Thank you.”
This was not the response Dino had expected. He pulled away from me. I watched his hurt quickly morph into anger. He asked me if I loved him too, and I was honest.
A lesson for the future: Honesty is not the best policy.
Before my eyes, the man I had married, my best friend, had transformed into something dark. Something scary.
Part of me had always known Dino was a dangerous man, but I had yet to see that side of him.
Then I did something stupid. I told Dino I cared about him very much, that he was my best friend.
This only caused his anger to spike.
Dino left that night. He picked up his keys, left his wallet and drove away from me. Frantic with worry, I called his cell and sent him countless texts asking him to come home. Exhausted and saddened by this turn of events, I fell asleep in our marital bed.
Waking in the middle of the night and hearing Dino’s voice s
ent relief coursing through my veins. Dressing in a robe, I made my way downstairs, determined to end this fight before it got any worse. As far as first fights go, this was a doozy.