I stand from my position at the dining table, bringing my empty coffee mug over to the kitchen sink and rinsing it. From my peripheral vision, I see the very moment she notices the clothes on my body.
“Yo, bitch. You raid my closet?” she asks, scarcely hiding her anger at the thought.
Wearing an expression of angelic innocence, I look down at the wide-leg linen pants and toffee cashmere sweater before looking up at her and responding, “Uh, no. Jay got them while I was showering this morning. I hope that was okay.”
Tone. Innuendo. A false sense of closeness. The short declaration had it all.
I aim for a hit.
And my belly warms as I see my arrow meets its mark.
Ling’s smug expression falters. Her eyes narrow at me then she turns the same look on Julius. “Oh, ‘Jay’ is it now?” Pushing herself off the counter by her hip, she moves to exit the kitchen. “Well, I’m tired. I’ve been up all night.” She glances from me to Julius. “I’ll let you and Jay get back to whatever it was you were doing before I got here.”
We watch her ascend up the stairs, and a full minute passes before Julius comments, “I don’t know what the hell that was about but don’t play with her, Alejandra. She doesn’t do games well, and when she decides she wants to play, it’s only because she plans to win.”
Don’t we all?
My face turns hard as I remark, “Thanks for the warning, but I’m not playing games.”
My life is not a goddamn game. This is serious.
He calls me out with little fire, “Sure are. You did it with me just before in the shower, and now you’re doing it with Ling.”
“No, I’m not,” I speak too fast, my guilt evident.
His full lips tilt in the corner and, raising his hand, he scratches at his five o’clock shadow. “Baby,” he starts. “People like me and Ling invented manipulation tactics. Can’t nobody do ‘em better than us. You’re making rookie mistakes and giving yourself away.” His semismile softens his entire face, and it’s beautiful. “Just stop, and we’ll all get along just fine.”
I frown and turn so he can’t see the internal struggle building behind my eyes.
I was giving myself away? How?
My shoulders droop with the knowledge that he’s been onto me from the moment he woke. The soft clink of his mug being placed in the sink sounds and I feel him at my back.
What he says next has my entire body turning cold with dread. “Want me to off your dad for you?”
My eyes wide, I spin on him and gape, before rushing out, “What? No! Don’t you dare!”
His face expectant, he nods softly, then states, “That right there. That’s who you are, Alejandra. You’re not a seductress. You’re not a schemer. You wear your heart on your sleeve. So whatever you’re thinking, stop, and just be your sweet self.”
He was killing me with his words, and I was ashamed at the hot sting of tears burning my eyes. I blinked them back. “I’m not weak.”
“No,” he agrees without hesitation, but looks at me from a different angle. “And I’d love to get inside that head of yours.” He straightens, taking a lock of my hair between his fingers and tugging gently. “But you won’t let me in, baby.” He let the strand of hair fall to rest on my shoulder and shrugs. “I want to help you, but I can’t do it without what you know. You don’t have a lot of time, so you need to decide what’s worth more to you… your life,” he urges, as he takes a number of steps back toward the stairs, “or your pride.”
As he follows Ling upstairs, he leaves me there, alone, unsupervised, and it’s then that I realize he isn’t insincere. He is confident I won’t leave, and he’s right, because I have no one. No one but him.
Perhaps he really wants to help me. Or maybe…
A cold feeling spreads throughout me from the toes up.
“People like me and Ling invented manipulation tactics. Can’t nobody do ‘em better than us.”
I shake my head at the comprehension that I had just been played like a finely tuned violin.
Julius does not want to help me. He wants to get rid of me. He wants to save his own ass, as I planned to do for myself, not that I blame him. If it were a choice between you or me, I would almost always choose myself.
He’d all but told me the truth in his anger-filled speech this morning that I was nothing but a piece of shit.
If only I could be like Ling, someone with backbone, someone capable. Maybe then I could find my place in this messed-up world of mine. Maybe if…
A light bulb goes off in my head, illuminating my thoughts, making them crystal clear.
Just like that, my plan changes from A to B.
I’m not going to become like Ling.
A secret smile glances my lips.
I’m going to replace her.
“Don’t walk away from me,” I growl, following her through the house. Goddamn little sparrow is making my head implode with every silent glare. If she wants to continue to hold her tongue, I will make her talk. Maybe telling her that I should have just let Gio have her was fierce, but her reaction was one I needed to see. The only person she had that kind of reaction to was whenever Dino’s brother was mentioned.
My lip twitching in anger, I fight the urge to reach out and grab her by the wrist to keep her still, and I accuse, “You were having an affair with him, with Gio? Weren’t you? That’s why you wanted Dino dead.” I pause to gauge her reaction, but she’s off, as far away from me as she can possibly get. “I should’ve guessed. He didn’t look all that upset about the death of his brother.” I glare at her retreating back. “I’ll bet my left nut that’s why he offered to find you himself. Is that it?” She keeps walking and my stomach burns, tight and coiled in agitation, and fury blazes, singeing my insides. “Talk to me.”
She limps as she power walks, not as badly as she did the day before, but bad enough that my stomach tightens with the need to pick her up and carry her to the sofa, somewhere soft and comfortable. My pride, of course, will never allow that to happen, but for the record, I want to.
“Fuck you,” she snarls, doing laps around the house, this being our second time through the kitchen. I smile secretly, knowing she has no idea where to go, but this doesn’t slow her pace.
I try a gentler approach.
“Alejandra.” Shit. My tone is still too harsh. I try again. “Baby, stop. Let’s talk.”
At my calling her baby, she spins on her heel, wincing slightly, and I nearly run her down at the sudden stop. She glowers up at me, raising a hand and poking me in the chest with one solid finger. Her eyes flame and she speaks through gritted teeth.
“Stop.” Poke. “Calling.” Poke. “Me.” Poke. “Baby.” Poke, poke, poke.
Fuck.
The attitude.
It does things to me.
My di
ck stirs from behind my black pants and I shift on my feet, throwing her a menacing look. “I’ll call you whatever I feel like, baby.” I move slowly, getting down into her space until we’re nose to nose. “For all intents and purposes, you belong to me.”
And, dear God, I wish that were the honest truth, that I could use her the way I really want to. Sleeping beside her is hard enough. My dick cries wet, thick tears every morning in the shower, but it hardly satisfies me.
Ling called me out the night before, and although I denied the accusation, she was right. I’m getting attached to her. It was a rookie mistake giving her access to my space. And as much as I want to get rid of her, my chest tightens at the thought of… of…
My mind utters the words I wouldn’t dare.
Of being alone again.
Ling is also a friend, but she is more an associate. She has her own interests, and they don’t involve me. Honestly, I don’t dig the shit Ling is into. We don’t interact socially, don’t go out to dinner, and we don’t get deep and meaningful. Not that Ling has it in her to do deep and meaningful. She has her space upstairs, and I have mine downstairs. We eat together on occasion only because it’s convenient, but we do this in silence for the most part, intermittently talking shit about work.
Alejandra is a complicated creature and, Lord have mercy, I find myself drawn to her. All day, she doesn’t stop with the talking, but as soon as we move toward the bedroom to sleep, she shuts down, becoming jittery and stiff. And it fucking kills me.
I get it. She doesn’t know me from Adam and, at night, I might fantasize about all the different ways I can make her scream in pleasure, but I won’t go there. Not even if she wants me to.
Well, damn.
Okay, I’d likely resist a while but, fuck, I’m only human. I don’t know if I’d have it in me to deny a woman like Alejandra. She’s petite, something I’ve always loved. She’s beautiful, a bonus. And she’s smart, not at all the ditz she’d have me believe she is.