She pulled away as though my words physically burned her. Her chest heaved, face furious, eyes wild, and she whispered in a deadly calm, “Like the baby never existed?”
I could’ve smiled then. I wanted to, but I didn’t. Instead, I raised a brow. “Or adoption. Whichever.”
Hugging herself tight, she’d let out a hoarse, “No.” Then louder, “No! This is my baby.” Then quieter, and a thousand times more pained, “This is my baby. Our baby. This is all I have left of him.”
Enough was enough. I reached forward and lifted her chin till her eyes met mine. “If you want this baby, prove it.” Her eyes changed then, turned softer, and I saw fear. But as far as I was concerned, fear was better than resignation. I shook her chin lightly. “You gotta live now. If not for yourself, then for your baby. This baby is a gift, but you gotta earn it, Lex. I know Twitch isn’t around, but your baby needs you.” At the mention of my best friend, Lexi lost whatever small amount of strength she’d stockpiled. Sobbing quietly, her body turned weak under my touch. I pushed a little harder. “Your baby doesn’t have a daddy. It needs its momma.” I released her then, and she fell back into the pillows on the sterile, uncomfortable hospital bed. Her soft, keening cry was a knife to my gut, mainly because I knew she hadn’t the energy to cry harder. I took hold of her small, cold hand and held it between mine. I rubbed it, trying desperately to warm her. “Can you do that, Lex? Can you look after yourself, make sure your baby has someone he can depend on?”
Suddenly, she lifted her gaze to mine, blinking sluggishly, before asking a hushed, “Do you think it’s a boy?” Her free hand started to move over her small baby bump. “I think it’s a boy, too. I have from the second I found out.”
I took this as a good sign. No woman who wanted to abort a pregnancy wanted to talk about the smaller things. I smiled softly, warmly. “I do, baby. I think you got a little man in there.” My smile turned into a grin. “And knowing Twitch and his hard-ass way, he’ll look just like him. Poor boy won’t have a choice.”
A wisp of a smile lit Lexi’s face. “And if it’s a girl?”
I clicked my tongue. “A plague on you, woman. If you have a little girl in there, looking half as pretty as its momma…” I leaned back in my chair and blew out a long, hard breath while shaking my head. “Shit. It’s enough to give a man nightmares. Lucky Twitch won’t be around to witness her first date.”
The second those words left my mouth, I wanted to take them back. To consume them while they were still in the air. My stomach clenched as anxiety filled me. I felt like a grade-A moron.
But to my surprise, Lexi’s half smile flourished into a smile I hadn’t seen since before Twitch had gone. She laughed through her nose a second before letting out a sigh. “It’s nice to talk about him. Everyone is so scared to talk about him. Sometimes I think he was just a figment of my imagination.”
I pursed my lips. “There’s nothing wrong with speaking of the dead.”
She reached for me with a shaking hand. I met her halfway, taking it eagerly, basking in her sudden contact. We stayed in the position a while before her fingers tightened in mine. “Julius?”
My voice scratchy from exhaustion, I blinked, then asked, “What is it, baby?”
Her whispered words sounded more like a plea than a question. “Will you make sure the baby knows about him? The good things?”
That was the exact moment I knew Lexi would be okay. Relief flowed through me. “Yeah, Lex. I can do that.”
“Earth to Julius. Uh, hello? Anyone in there?” Ling’s voice brings me back to the present.
“What?”
Her perfectly shaped brow rises into an arch. “Are you feeling okay? Maybe we should find a closer motel for the night.”
I shake my head. “No, I’m good. Just got caught up in my head.”
Sarcasm laces her voice. “A dangerous place to be.”
I huff out a laugh. “You have no idea, girl.”
Concentrating on the road when you’re tired is hard. What’s harder is concentrating while feeling perfectly manicured nails trail up your leg. My voice low in warning, I growl, “Ling.”
She replies a sullen, pouting, “I’m hungry.”
Taking her hand and placing it on her own leg, I utter, “Nothin’ to eat where you’re looking.”
I hear her smile when she speaks low and sultry. “I can think of something that might satisfy me.”
My only response is to sigh and shake my head, hoping to God she doesn’t notice the tightness behind the zipper of my jeans.
Whether I like it or not, Ling is a beautiful woman. Fucked up as they come, but beautiful.
Sighing herself, she looks out the window, and complains quietly, “You never want to play with me.”
A startled laugh escapes me. “Four years later, and you still haven’t figured that out. I don’t shit where I sleep, Ling Ling.” I chance a look over at her. “Besides, I don’t play your particular variety of games.”
Her almond-shaped brown eyes find mine, and although she doesn’t smile, her eyes do. “What? You never ached to put your hands on a woman? Make her feel just how much you want it? That even if she didn’t want to give it to you, you’d take it by force?”
As we stop at a red light, I fight to roll my eyes at the naïve words from an equally naïve woman. I make as though I’m thinking hard. “That sounds a little like… hmmm… what’s the word?” My face sobers as I go on. “Oh, yeah. Rape.”
She waves a hand at me, her shoulder-length black hair swishing as she does, and makes a noise that suggests I’m being silly. “Oh, please. It’s completely consensual, and you know it.”
The light turns green, and we’re off once more. “What kills you more? That I’m not into it, or that I’m just not the bad guy you think every guy is?”
“Julius,” she starts, “it’s not about being a bad guy.” Her voice is soft. “I can make any good guy bad for the evening.”
This is not gloating or pride. This sounds weary and worn on the lips of a dangerous woman. A predator. And she sounds tired of her own game.
It’s not very often I feel sorry for Ling, but right now is one of those times.
We drive on in silence, stopping at a gas station for necessities before reaching our stopover. The motel is quiet, as it should be at almost 3:00 a.m. As we make our way inside, a young man appears at the sound of the bell attached to the door. “Help y’all?”
A slow, greedy smile spreads across Ling’s lips, and her eyes flash excitedly. “My, oh-my. They sure make ‘em big out here.”
The young man doesn’t take his eyes off Ling, but he swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing awkwardly as he does. She only makes it worse when she makes a show of licking her cherry red lips. From the way the man-boy follows her tongue, I know he’s wondering if she tastes as good as she looks.
She does.
Ling and I have never made it to the bedroom, but there have been instances where her lips have coaxed mine.
She’s cherry-flavored. I can vouch for that.
I slap my wallet down on the counter, and the young man jumps back, looking up at me in shock. I take my time looking him over. Nearly as tall as myself, Ling was right. He is a big one. “You got vacancy?”
The boy immediately knows his place. “Yes, sir.” But he can’t resist the walking, talking Aphrodite at my side. He sneaks one quick look her way. “One room?”
At the very moment I answer “Yes,” Ling answers, “No.”
I pause to glance at her. “One room.”
Her brows rise in a
way that tells me she doesn’t like my tone. She looks back at the young man and smiles an all too welcoming smile. “Two rooms please, honey.”
But the boy remembers me, if not a second too late. “Sir?”
I look over at Ling once more. Her eyes narrow dangerously. I glare at her a moment before I turn to the clerk. “Two rooms. But you make sure they’re next to each other, son.”
He swallows again, his Adam’s apple jumping. His voice squeaks just a little bit. “Yes, sir. How will you be making payment?”
“Cash.”
“I need to see some identification.”
I nod. “Sure thing.” I open my wallet, but rather than taking out my driver’s license, I pull out a hundred and slide it over the counter. “You’ll put down Mr. and Mrs. Sonny Jones. The reason we’re staying in separate rooms is because we’re not speaking right now, as my wife—” I gesture to Ling. “—Laura, is pissed at me for checking out a waitress at the local diner.” I pause a moment to let that sink in. “You get me?”
Without skipping a beat, he pockets the cash, nods, and then answers, “Got it.”
I take hold of my bag and reach for Ling’s, but she snatches the handle out of my grasp. She turns to the clerk. “Can you help me with my bag, uh…?”
He takes the bait. “Yes, I can. And I’m Cory, but you can call me Chip.”
Ling’s low laughter sounds. “Oh, of course you are, darling. How old did you say you are?”
I walk ahead and smother my laughter, as Chip responds, “I’m eighteen, just finished my senior year.”
Ling walks to my side. “Well, congratulations, Chip. That’s wonderful.” Under her breath, she mutters, “Just how I like ‘em.”
I utter quietly out the side of my mouth, “Behave yourself.”
She snorts, before responding, “Now where’s the fun in that?”
We stop at our assigned rooms, and I let myself in just in time to hear Ling ask Chip, “Can you bring it inside for me, sweetie? I just had a manicure. I’d hate to ruin it so soon.”