“I’m not sure that I did, until I met Mr. Field.”
Amelia turned back at that. “How does he signify?”
“I am no expert, so I hesitate to speak about this, but I think perhaps a new romance can fill the void left by an old one.” Miss Pool stood and crossed to her. “You will never have to worry about that. You are far too wonderful a person to ever lose your love.”
“How I wish that were true,” Amelia whispered.
A commiserating smile spread across the governess’s delicate features. She set her hands gently atop Amelia’s shoulders and asked, “You speak of first loves, yes? Those always end with heartache, Amelia. It is a rite of passage. The signal that you have grown beyond youthful fancy into the deeper knowledge of yourself. It is painful proof that you have left the tiny concerns of childhood behind and have grown into a woman’s awareness.”
Tears welled in Amelia’s eyes. Miss Pool pulled her closer and offered solace in a warm embrace. Amelia accepted it gratefully, crying until she was wracked with hiccups, then she managed to cry some more.
Finally empty of tears, she reached deep inside herself and found a bit of strength she had not known she possessed.
“Go,” Amelia ordered, blowing her nose into the handkerchief thrust at her. Miss Pool was always prepared. “I have held you here long enough.”
“I will not leave you like this,” Miss Pool protested.
“I feel better. Truly. I feel so much better, in fact, that I intend to go for a walk to clear my head.”
It was Tuesday, the day when Colin and his uncle had the afternoon to themselves. They always ventured away, which meant the estate was safe to traverse.
“Come with me, then.”
Amelia shuddered. She was not that strong. “No, thank you. I would much prefer to stay close to home today.”
It took more assurances and cajoling before Miss Pool reluctantly left for the village. Then Amelia questioned the cook—who knew everything about everyone—to make certain Colin was gone. Still, the fear of seeing him again made her nauseated.
Taking a deep breath, she burst from the kitchen door, ran across the unkempt lawn, and plunged into the cover of trees. As she approached the small fence with the intent to climb over it, a movement in the trees drew her up short.
She ducked low and hid behind a trunk, watching as one of her father’s lackeys made his rounds along the perimeter of the property. He was an older man, neat in appearance but too lean, causing his clothes to hang on his bony frame. His roaming gaze was hard and cold, and his hand gripped the hilt of a wicked-looking dagger.
He paused and glanced around suspiciously. Amelia held her breath, afraid to even blink as he craned his neck back and forth, searching the area. Forever seemed to pass before the guard moved on.
For a long moment, she waited, needing to be certain that he’d gone far enough away that she would not be seen climbing over the fence. Then she made her escape.
Amelia hopped over onto the neighboring property, slipping into the wooded area before blowing out the breath she’d been holding. “Heavens,” she breathed, relieved beyond measure to have succeeded. “What a most unpleasant man.”
“I agree.”
Amelia jumped at the sound of the low, cultured drawl. She spun about, then gaped at the gentleman who stood nearby.
He was undeniably wealthy, as indicated by the fine quality of his garments and the craftsmanship of his wig. He was pale and slender, almost pretty. Despite the fact that he looked to be of similar age, he carried himself with a bearing that proclaimed clearly that his word was to be obeyed. A man of privilege.
He gave an elegant bow and introduced himself as the Earl of Ware. Then he explained that the stream she so enjoyed was on his father’s land. “But you are welcome to it.”
“Thank you, my lord.” She dipped a quick curtsy. “You are most gracious.”
“No,” he said dryly. “I am most bored. I appreciate the company, especially when that company is the fair maiden freed from her turret prison.”
“What a fanciful image,” she murmured.
“I am a fanciful fellow.”
Lord Ware took up her hand and escorted her to the stream. There she found Benny, who was working industriously with a long stick. He felt her gaze and looked up. “I’ll make you a pole, too.”
“See?” Ware said. “No more need for tears and reddened noses. After all, what could be better than an afternoon on the shore with an earl and an urchin?”
She glanced aside at him and he winked.
For the first time in days, Amelia smiled.
As the sun climbed steadily above the horizon, bringing with it a new day, the scene on the beach at Deal was revealed to those who still drew breath. Bodies littered the blood-soaked sand and floated in the gently lapping morning waves. The ship was gone, its cargo unloaded and placed on carts that had long since rolled away.
Christopher ignored the aches and pains that wracked every part of his body and stood still, his hands steepled together and pressed to his lips. To the ignorant, he might appear to be lost in prayer, but those who knew him knew that God would never deign to help a soul as black as his. At his feet lay the man who had challenged him, the ambitious fool’s heart pierced with a foil, pinning the corpse to the beach.
An older man approached with a pronounced limp, his upper thigh sporting a bloody bandage. “A dozen lost,” he reported.
“I want a list of their names.”
“Aye. I’ll see to it.”
A soft touch came to his arm, and Christopher turned his head to find a young girl standing beside him.
“Yer bleeding,” she whispered, her eyes big as saucers.
He lowered his gaze, noting for the first time that he had a deep gash in his biceps that bled profusely and soaked his tattered shirtsleeves.
“So I am,” he said, extending his arm so that she could tie it off with the torn strips of linen in her hand.
He studied her as she worked, admiring how composed she was despite her youth. Grown men were vomiting over the scene before them, but she bore it stoically. Violence was not unknown to her.
“Did you lose anyone today, child?” he asked softly.
Her gaze stayed focused on her work. “My uncle.”
“I am sorry.”
She nodded.
He exhaled harshly and turned his head to watch the sunrise. Although his position here was once again secure, he would not leave immediately. He had known the battle itself would be short. The fortnight he anticipated was for the rest of it. It would take at least a sennight to visit every one of the families who had suffered a death today and ensure they would have the means to survive. A miserable task, with days on end of grief, but it had to be done.
Then, quite suddenly, the thought of Maria entered his head. Where it came from was a mystery. Christopher knew only that her memory straightened the weary curve of his spine and gave him a goal—a soft bed and her warm, curvy body pressed to his. To hold her, to relax with her, to experience that odd tightening in his chest that he found so discomfiting. It would be preferable to this…nothing he felt now.
Do you ever contemplate leaving this life?
He did not, even now in the midst of this ugliness. But for the first time, he contemplated a reprieve, one made possible by Maria.
It was God’s punishment for his sins that in order to keep his life, he would have to extinguish his one pleasure in it.
Chapter 13
Maria tucked her legs up on the chaise and studied Tim as he drew pictures at the desk. The cottage Welton had secured for her was small but comfortable. Situated near the shore, it was a lovely retreat, the soft crashing of the waves an enchanting accompaniment to lazy activities.
Tim hummed some tune to himself as he worked, and Maria marveled again at how gentle he was in comparison to his massive size. He was kind and deeply loyal to St. John, a loyalty which he extended to her because he believed she was important to the pirate. It was that which most startled her. Yes, St. John had shown great interest in her, but she knew men well. Deep interest did not mean deep affection. She had something he wanted, and she placed no more stock in their relationship than that. Tim, however, seemed to think there was more to it, and something inside her longed to believe that was true.
She missed him, her pirate. How odd it was to care for him so quickly, but she did. At night she lay in her bed and longed for the feel of his muscled arms around her, his furred chest cushioning her cheek, his heated skin warming hers. Sometimes, if she closed her eyes, she imagined that she could smell him, that luscious scent of bergamot and virile, lustful male.
Most of all, she wished for the illusion of safety. Christopher made her feel protected. Simon, bless him, was content to allow her to rule everything. Sometimes, however, she wished to have someone else bear the burdens. Only for a little while. Not enough to make her dependent, but enough to give her a smidgeon of peace.
“Here,” Tim said as he pushed heavily to his feet and lumbered toward her. He handed her the drawing and moved back to the desk to begin another.