Not keeping the harshness out of my voice, I ask, “Have you compared me?”
Jim blinks in surprise, at first not understanding my change from playful to furious. Then his expression smooths in understanding, his voice soft and reassuring. “There’s only been one comparison, and you know who that is.”
I grimace. Jim had lost his virginity not long after he’d turned sixteen to one of our classmates. Their relationship didn’t last long, and Jim and I started dating about six months after that.
“So,” I say tentatively, poking around the edges of what I need to know. “This whole time we’ve been separated, you haven’t…”
I can’t even bring myself to say it.
Jim comes in for the rescue. “I haven’t been with anyone else, Ella. Not even a date. Haven’t wanted to. Haven’t felt the need to go fuck some woman just for the release, especially not when I only wanted you.”
My whole body seems to just collapse against him, and I didn’t realize I’d been holding myself so stiffly since this conversation started. I’ve never felt such relief, and it’s immediately followed by guilt.
“Oh, God,” I moan somewhat piteously. “And here I was, ready to move on with dating. I went out and dated another man, and you didn’t even look at another woman.”
“Not the same, Ella,” Jim replies, and I just don’t understand how he can be so understanding of my flaws. “It’s not the same because you were looking for something that would make you happy, and you deserved it. I’d already found it, and I knew I had the best I was ever going to get. I don’t hold it against you for trying to move on.”
“Really?” I ask hopefully.
“Really,” he reassures me, then lifts his head at the same time to pull me closer to his face. He kisses me lightly before rolling me to the side. “Now… what should we do next? Movie? Food? Crossword puzzle? You performing a sexy dance for me in another piece of lingerie so we can fuck again?”
I laugh and snuggle my body closer, but curl my hand under my pillow to stare at him. “Tell me about the team. The new guys and what everyone did this summer. Seems like everyone has been getting lucky in love.”
Jim laughs and props his head on his hand, elbow into the mattress. “Let’s see… so, you know about Aaron and Clarke becoming a couple, but you probably don’t know that a few years back, Clarke was on a national dating show where she was humiliated by the whole process. She was blocked off and opposed to dating anyone famous.”
“And Aaron’s reputation as a ladies man probably didn’t help,” I add thoughtfully.
“He was tenacious,” Jim explains. “Wasn’t going to let her push him away.”
“That’s sweet,” I murmur. “Sounds a little like you. Actually, Clarke did tell me last night she was really scared to fall for him, but that she just felt the reward was greater than the risk.”
“Smart girl,” Jim notes, giving me a pointed look that perhaps I should learn something there. I don’t dare tell him I’ve been thinking a lot about what Clarke said, and I think it has great merit. But I’m still pondering things.
“And there were lots of weddings,” I say, changing the subject.
“Yup,” he replies. “Erik and Blue, Brooke and Bishop, and then the surprise one when Tacker and Nora decided to tie the knot spontaneously.
“Summer of love.” My thoughts turn wistful, remembering our wedding. It was like a fairy tale come true, even though we ended up getting married a little sooner than we had planned because I got pregnant with Lucy.
“Speaking of love,” Jim says, his eyes alight with humor. “Jett has gone bonkers for this woman who just started in the front office. She’s like the new VP of digital marketing and I swear, the guy fell in love at first sight.”
“What’s she like?” I ask curiously. Jett is the quintessential single guy. He’s not predatory with women, but he does enjoy playing the field.
“British,” Jim says. “Her name’s Emory Holland and she’s a bit standoffish and just a little too professional.”
I frown. “What does Jett see in her?”
“Well, she’s hot as hell,” Jim admits reluctantly. “I mean, nowhere near as beautiful as you, but she definitely had some of the guys’ tongues lolling.”
Jim goes on to explain that the marketing management wants each of the players to become more personally involved in the Instagram community, making themselves more “digitally” available to their fans.
“Oh, God.” I laugh in sympathy. “You suck at social media.”
“I know,” he laments, then gives me a wink. “But our daughter doesn’t. I had to meet with Ms. Holland last week so she could explain what the team is looking for and she even had a folder of tips and strategies, including guidelines we have to follow. Things that are acceptable and things that aren’t.”