I know Rafe, though. There’s no way he’d ever leave his mother’s side on the day his father passed.
Eventually, Brenda moves off to her room to take a shower since we expect the house will start filling with well-wishers shortly. With that thought, I rush out of the house without even taking the time to put on a bra and tell Rafe I need to go back to my apartment to take a shower as well.
I promise to come back immediately.
He walks me to my car, our fingers laced. I can feel the gravity of the situation, and the hunch to his shoulders tells me all I need to know.
He opens the car door for me, and when I move to get in, he holds me back with a tug on my hand. My eyes move to his, and I note his head tilted as if he’s curious about something. “Did you really feel something was wrong and that you needed to be here?”
I smile back at him. Over three hours ago, I had woken up in a panic, feeling an immense blanket of grief hit me. I’m not sure if I knew that Jim had died and that Rafe had found him, or if it was just an all-consuming need for me to be truthful with Rafe about how I really felt about him.
“I can’t explain it. I just felt that it was urgent that I get here.”
He nods, seeming to understand something that frankly seems implausible to me.
“And you love me?” he asks, his fingers tightening on mine.
I wondered when he’d finally address what I said to him. I’m not sure how much of a surprise it was, as he seemed pretty confident that I’d come around. He’d boldly told me he’d wait for me to come to the right conclusion, and well...here I am.
“I know the timing couldn’t be worse,” I say apologetically as I step in closer to him. “But yes...I do love you. I can’t say I carried a torch for you all these years unless you count the type that I’d use to burn your house down, but I do know one thing...what you did was forgivable. I just had to accept that.”
“So no more of this silly friends with benefits thing?” he presses, putting both palms on my hips.
My hands go to his shoulders, and I give him a sly smile. “I didn’t say that. I mean, we are still friends—the best of—and there are many, many benefits between us. But I also know there is so much more.”
I rise to my tiptoes and whisper before I kiss him, “So much more.”
Rafe’s eyes mist up, his mouth drawing down. His voice is heavy as he admits, “I’m so glad you’re by my side right now. I miss my dad, and I’m not sure how to navigate this world without him in it.”
“One step at a time,” I assure him. “And I’ll be right here along the way.”
He murmurs words of promise to me—I love you—and then his mouth is on mine, giving me the most tender and binding kiss a woman could have the privilege of receiving.
“I love you,” I assure him once again. I imagine I’ll be saying it a lot because he needs to hear it, and well...so do I. They’re the best words, after all, and they represent the good in our world. “We were given a second chance.”
“I was given a second chance,” he insists.
I shake my head. “No. We. My life wouldn’t be complete without you. I wouldn’t know a love like what you can give me. So, even though it took me a while to recognize it and not fear it, to accept it, it’s my second chance, too.”
Rafe pulls me in for a hug, and I squeeze him tight. His voice feathers over me. “Want to know one of the last things my dad said to me?”
I nod, my head pressed against his chest. My fingers dig into his shirt, and my eyes start leaking because I can feel the gravity in his tone.
“He told me he was leaving this Earth happy that you and I were back together. I mean...he didn’t really know where we stood, but yet...somehow, he knew. I know it sounds crazy, but I can’t shake the feeling that my dad’s illness and death sort of fated you and me back together again. And while I’d give anything to have my dad back, I actually find it quite peaceful knowing I have you in his place.”
And, of course, I start sobbing. I think I manage to say, “That’s beautiful,” but my face is pressed so hard into his shirt that I doubt he understands me.
Doesn’t matter.
He just holds me tight as we both grieve our losses and marvel about our gains, both emotions seeming perfectly right.