Blue jerks in astonishment. “You do?”
“Not much,” I admit to her and hope that doesn’t blow my chances with her. But I want to be honest. “I remember us together…physically. You had brown hair and it was long. You were…on top of me and we were in a hotel room, I think.”
I don’t know whether to be charmed or ashamed, but Blue’s cheeks flame red and her gaze cuts down to the carpet.
“And then my memory goes dark,” I tell her and her eyes pop back up, slamming into mine. “I don’t understand why and I’m really sorry that I’ve offended you because of that.”
Those soft, brown eyes go wide and a gasp of surprise escapes her lips.
Perfect fucking lips.
Her head tilts slightly and her eyes narrow. “You think I’m offended because you don’t remember me?”
“Well…yeah,” I mutter but now I’m thinking that’s not right.
Blue crosses her arms over her chest and gives me a sardonic smile. “I suppose that does sting a little, but it was what happened after that made an impression.”
I go ice-cold as I struggle to think what I could have done. I might be a horndog and a serious damn player when it comes to women, but I would never hurt one.
Never.
“I don’t know what happened, Blue,” I tell her quietly. “And I need to know because I got to be honest…it’s sort of wigging me out that I did something to hurt you.”
Blue flushes again and I’m surprised to see guilt in her eyes. “It’s nothing,” she assures me quickly. “I don’t want you to feel bad or anything. I mean, damn…my intention is not to have you feel bad about something like that.”
“Like what?” I utter in low growl. “Tell me what I did.”
After a quick look over her shoulder into the room, Blue puts a hand to my chest and pushes me out of the doorway. She steps out with me and pulls the door shut behind her.
I sense her nervousness as she sighs, tucking her hair behind her ear. “After our…encounter,” she begins in a low voice. “You asked me out for the next night. I mean, it was to a party but you asked me to meet you there. It was a date, and I showed up expecting that.”
“I’m guessing you didn’t get it,” I bite out.
She shakes her head. “You were wrapped up with two girls, and by wrapped up, I mean literally. On one of the couches, making out with both of them. I confronted you about it.”
There’s absolutely no recollection of this moment but I don’t doubt what she’s telling me. My words come out slowly, through gritted teeth. “And what did I say?”
She doesn’t pull any punches. “You patted your lap and invited me to join you and the other women.”
I mutter a curse under my breath, letting my gaze drift down the hallway for a moment to collect myself. When I look back to Blue, she’s closed herself off again. Eyes flat, arms tightened over her chest, almost as if she’s hugging herself.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her.
She gives a shrug like it doesn’t matter.
“Not just that I don’t remember, but that I was so callous.”
“It’s fine,” she says in a falsely cheery voice. “I got it off my chest. I’m good.”
“I’m not,” I reply softly, and then I touch her. Put my fingers right under her chin so she has to hold my gaze. “I can’t say that I was drunk and that was the reason, although that would be an excuse. I can’t give you any excuse because I simply don’t remember. I’d like to tell you that was the one and only time I ever did something like that, but it would be a lie. I wasn’t interested in relationships or second dates back then. I was twenty-three, had more money than I knew what to do with, and I liked to party hard. The most I can tell you is that I’m truly sorry I hurt your feelings. It wasn’t my intention but it certainly is all my fault.”
Blue doesn’t say a word but her gaze never wavers from mine. She doesn’t try to pull away either.
So we just stare at each other for a very long moment, letting my words sink in. I’m not sure I’ve ever said anything so purely straight from my heart to a woman before.
I let my hand drop away from her face and I take a step backward. I attempt an apologetic smile before I pivot and head back toward the elevator.
“Erik…wait,” she says.
I turn back and she’s the one that moves to meet me. “Listen…I…um…I was a party girl back then too. You didn’t take advantage of me or anything. I knew what I was getting into when I went to your hotel room, and we both had been drinking a lot. I walked in there with no expectations of anything more than sex. It’s just…I thought we had a connection and when you asked me out for the next night, I thought that meant that you felt a connection too. It was a hard slap in the face to know I was wrong about it.”