“Actually sleeping? All the time. Sex? No.”
“Never?”
It wasn't really his business—it's not like I was going to grill him on his sexual history—but I understood. Where J.T. was concerned, it was his business. A platonic friend I loved deeply was one thing. A friend I loved deeply who I'd also had sex with was a totally different thing.
“Never. We kissed once when we were in middle school and it wasn't worth repeating.” I set my champagne on the railing and turned to face Royal, knowing it was essential that he understand if we were going to move forward. “I love J.T. He's more family to me than most of my actual family, and I'm the same to him. I'd do anything for him. Anything. But we don't love each other like that, and we never have.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? Just like that?” I don't know what I expected. An argument? An ultimatum? Anything but this easy acceptance.
“Just like that. You haven't given me any reason not to trust you. And I understand friendship. I'm looking forward to getting to know him.”
“He can't wait to meet you,” I said. “He was almost as excited by the flowers you sent as I was. He would have dressed me up and delivered me to The Inn on the spot if I'd let him.”
“Now I really can't wait to meet him,” Royal said, sending me another of his blinding smiles. “I need someone on my side.”
“Hey!” I swatted the back of my hand at his chest before picking up my champagne and taking another sip. “I'm on your side.”
“Are you?”
It could have been a playful, teasing question. It would have been simpler if it had been. Royal's eyes were deadly serious, and I knew my answer was important. This was more than flirting.
For all the running away I'd done, Royal needed me to stop. I didn't know why, I just knew that it was time.
Chapter Twenty
Daisy
I haven't dated in a long time,” I admitted. “Over two years. I don't trust my own judgement with men, and you're exactly the kind of guy I've always avoided.”
“Why? What is it about me that scares you off?”
The hint of vulnerability in his eyes cracked the shell around my heart. I couldn't be the one who made him feel less. I wouldn't. Reaching out, I wrapped my fingers around the back of his neck and leaned in to press my lips to his.
“Nothing,” I said, withdrawing just enough to meet his gaze. “There's nothing about you that scares me off. Not really. It's me. I like everything about you, Royal. That's what scares me.”
I sat back and put my empty champagne glass on the railing. Royal waited, his guard still up. If he needed more, I'd give it to him with the blunt honesty he seemed to bring out in me.
“Grams always talked about the Hutchins women having bad luck with men. Not just her with my grandfather, who took off long before dad was born, but her mother and her grandmother, too. They all had stories of charming men and broken hearts. And watching my mom and dad together made me cautious about falling for someone. My mom may be a Hutchins by marriage, but she fits right in. She’s so blinded by my dad she buys all the bullshit he hands her and asks for more.
"I can't stand the idea of losing myself like that. I dated some, had a boyfriend for a while a few years ago, but he moved away for a job, and when I didn't miss him, I started thinking I was better off on my own. J.T. had his own reasons he wasn't interested in dating, so we made do with each other.”
“Without sex? I can see how being with J.T. would be almost the same as having a boyfriend, but didn't you miss sex?”
The laugh escaped before I could stop it. “If you'd known my last boyfriend you'd get why I thought I could do without.”
Royal raised an eyebrow, possibly seeing a challenge in my words. “That bad?”
“I figured it was me. No one before him was any better. I thought I was just bad at it.” I looked at Royal through my lashes, flirting and shielding myself at the same time. My heart sped with nerves. “After you kissed me, I realized it might not be me after all.”
I swear Royal's grin made my panties wet. Wetter. Yep, there was nothing wrong with the way I responded to Royal. Nothing at all.
“That good, huh?” he said, that sexy grin just a little bit smug.
“You know it was. So good it got me thinking.”
“About what, exactly?” Royal probed, his guard slowly melting away.
“That maybe it's time to take a risk.” In case it wasn't clear, I added, “With you.”
That was all I needed to say. Royal hauled me onto his lap, satisfaction and anticipation glowing in his eyes. “Took you long enough.”