“Are you sure?”
I sat on the edge of the sofa, urging her back until she was lying down. I brushed her hair off her face, wanting to chase the worry from her eyes. “This isn’t the first time someone has tried to kill me. Hopefully, it’ll be the last. I don’t want you to worry.”
“Not worry? Are you insane? How could I not worry? Someone shot you!”
“Someone shot at me. Trust me, I know the difference,” I said, thinking of my shoulder. Big fucking difference.
Hope scowled. “Smartass. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“I’m being careful. I promise. I have to go talk to West and Hawk, see what we can do to make sure we’re safe. I wanted to check on you first. Are you better? How are you feeling? You went down hard. That’s the second time you fainted.”
“No, it’s not. I just got a little dizzy the other day, that’s all. I’ve been lightheaded. Maybe I’m drinking too much coffee or something.”
I narrowed my eyes on her, thinking back. “You haven’t been drinking coffee at all lately. You said your stomach felt funny.”
I thought about what Hawk had said. Thought about asking Hope straight out and immediately pushed the idea way. She’d tell me if she was. Wouldn’t she? The last thing I wanted to do was give her more to worry about.
“It’s nothing, I think I have a cold. I’ve been a little stuffy and I had a headache the last few days, that’s all. I always feel lightheaded and tired when I have a cold. Don’t worry about me. I’ll text Savannah if I need anything. You go figure out security stuff with Hawk and West. I’m just going to close my eyes after I finish this tea.”
A cold. She had been drinking a lot of tea and sniffling the day before. That made sense. I wasn’t expecting a flash of regret at her simple explanation. Just a cold. Nothing to worry about.
I wanted to stay, to curl up on the couch with her and just be. More, I needed to know she’d be safe. I pulled a soft blanket over her, dropping a slow kiss on her mouth before I finally dragged myself away and headed down to plug the holes in our security with Hawk and West.
I had no intention of being shot, but I wasn’t going to be a prisoner either. One way or another, we’d figure this out.
I’d never been an overly optimistic man before. Maybe Hope had softened me up. Maybe I was just happy.
Or stupid.
I should have been more suspicious.
I should have been more careful.
I should have remembered how quickly things can go bad, just when you least expect it.
Chapter Forty
Hope
I closed my eyes and slept for six hours. Griffen woke me for dinner, concern in his eyes. I lied and told him it was just a cold and truthfully admitted I was starving. That was my pattern lately. I woke late with my stomach turning over, wasn’t hungry until afternoon, and then I ate like a pig at dinner.
I wanted it to be a cold. The flu. A random virus I’d picked up somewhere. As each day passed and it got worse, I was afraid it was something else.
I was late.
My period wasn’t regular. It wasn’t irregular either, it was just kind of vague. I’m not one of those women who knows the exact day it’s going to show up, but I did have a general idea and that general idea had passed about a week before. My breasts were tender, and I was dizzy. Queasy when I wasn’t starving.
I hadn’t figured out what to do about it. I wanted to know one way or the other. But how?
Of course, I could just tell my husband. Everything in me rejected that idea. I wasn’t ready to accept the thought that I might be pregnant. I’d sure as heck wasn’t ready to talk about it with Griffen.
It wasn’t like I could run out and buy a test. There was only one drug store in town and I knew everyone who worked there. Ditto for the grocery store. The last thing I needed was for everyone to find out Hope Sawyer had been seen buying a pregnancy test. Griffen would get a dozen calls before I made it back home.
I could get one somewhere out of town, except that I never left town without Griffen. Usually, when I ran into a store he came with me. I couldn’t think of a way to ask for privacy that wouldn’t seem awkward and weird. Maybe I could order one online. Or ask Daisy or J.T. to get me one. J.T. drove into Asheville every morning for school. He wouldn’t mind stopping at a drugstore.
So far, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to ask. I was holding on to my current plan of ignore, ignore, ignore. Stupid and immature, I know. Ignoring it wouldn’t make the problem go away, but I didn’t want it to go away. I just wanted the whole thing to be a lot less complicated.