It made me realize that the issue wasn’t really whether I was pregnant. Baby or no baby, I was in love with Griffen Sawyer, and I always had been.
I’d loved him when I was a girl for being handsome and kind. For always having time for me. I loved him now so much more than that girl had ever dreamed. I loved the life we had together. Working side-by-side, seeing him first thing when I woke and as I fell asleep.
It’s always the little things with me. I’d never wanted grand gestures. I loved that he brought me Daisy’s toffee-chip cookies when he went through town without me. The way he smiled at me. The way he held my hand. The way he asked what I wanted, and what I liked, and what I thought.
And—I had to be honest with myself—the sex didn’t hurt. He’d said I was innocent. I disagreed. I may have been a virgin, but I’d seen plenty of live shows by the time Edgar took me from my parents. I was very clear on the mechanics, and I’d read more than my share of romance novels.
I thought I knew all about sex, but wow, had I been wrong. No one would ever be as good as Griffen Sawyer. I already knew that.
I’d thought I could handle a temporary marriage to Griffen. Now that there was the possibility of a baby I realized I’d just been fooling myself. What had my plan been, anyway? After five years was I just going to leave town and move away?
I was always going to have to see him move on without me, was always going to have to watch him fall in love with someone else, to build a life with another woman. And now? Knowing that if we had a child together I could never move away, would never do that to our family—whatever form it took—could I live with that?
This whole thing was a mess. How many times had he said he didn’t want to bring a baby into this situation? Someone was trying to kill him. What if getting pregnant turned that gun on our child?
And I couldn’t forget that every time someone told him my getting pregnant would make things simpler, Griffen insisted he didn’t want a child with me. He’d been very clear about that.
Then he should have stayed out of my bed.
A wan smile curved my lips. What did they say in health class? All it takes is once. I tried to force myself to take a deep breath. I didn’t even know if I was pregnant. It was probably just a virus, and I was late because I was stressed.
I kept my eyes open all day for the chance to run into a drugstore on the excuse of grabbing cough drops, but when we finally stopped, Griffen said easily, “I’ll come in, too. I need a water and I ran out of toothpaste.”
“I’ll grab you some,” I offered, but he turned me down with a smile. Foiled again.
The drive home from Asheville was longer than the drive there thanks to five o’clock traffic, but it felt faster. We sped towards Sawyers Bend, all my worries looming over us, Griffen sneaking questioning glances at me through the silence.
I rolled my window down to get some air and break up the quiet in the car. It was cold outside but not freezing. Spring was finally on its way.
I never heard the gunshot.
We were zipping down a straightaway and out of nowhere the front end of the hood dipped on Griffen’s side, the car lurching down and to the left, speeding into the opposing lane of traffic. A car swerved out of our way as Griffen swore, wrestling the steering wheel until he could pull the vehicle back into our lane.
He hit the brakes. The car heaved and jerked, the wheel yanking itself out of Griffen’s hands. We careened off the road, tilting to the side, every cell in my body straining to be upright as the car leaned and leaned, and I knew in my gut we were going over the edge of the embankment.
The fall started so slowly. I was on my side, then my feet were over my head and we flipped again, gaining momentum as gravity took over.
The mountain flew up to the window—or we were flying down—I didn’t know anymore. Fire erupted in my arm, we rolled again, and everything went black.
Chapter Forty-One
Hope
Light sliced into my eyes. I blinked, squinting as a shadow eclipsed the sun and everything went dark again. Voices. Griffen and someone else. A stranger.
The strange voice was a man, distant and tinny in my ringing ears. “I couldn’t believe it! I swerved to get out of your way and when I looked in the rearview, you flipped! Man, you went over like five times,” he said, breathless with shock.