But God, Rika was right. I knew she was right.
Nothing in my life had ever felt as good as Winter happy because of me.
I’d told her everything last night. I wanted her to understand.
“You should leave her alone,” Rika told me, and her voice was closer now like she’d turned around toward me. “Let her be calm and safe, and give her some room to breathe.”
I wasn’t asking for your opinion.
I heard her step closer behind me. “And in the meantime, be an adult. Get to work on something and show her you can survive without her. Without her respect, you have no chance.”
“No chance at what?”
“No chance at not becoming your fucking parents,” she replied.
A baseball lodged in my throat.
Was she right? Was that where I was heading? Was I ever going to be done with Winter? Did I want any other woman?
No.
And what if I got her pregnant? Would my kids hate me for hurting her? Was it just some endless fucking cycle, because I wouldn’t face that Rika was right, and Michael and Kai knew what I refused to see?
I wanted her.
I broke last night, because I didn’t want this. I just wanted that kid back who sat in my lap and drove my car.
I made her happy. Me.
And instead of sticking to the plan and making her hate that she wanted me, I hated that I still wanted her.
None of it was a lie, except my name.
It was real, and I wanted it again.
I fucking loved her.
Goddammit.
I spun around and walked past Rika, toward the elevator, but I heard her voice behind me again.
“And Damon?” she called.
I stopped.
“When and if she comes around, take her somewhere, just the two of you.”
What?
“It’s called a date,” she explained, “and it’s where you do something she likes that makes her happy. You and she will keep your clothes on for this.”
Oh, you’re funny. I shook my head, leaving her apartment and stepping into the elevator.
I pushed the button for the lobby. “A fucking date,” I mumbled.
Winter
Present