“It’s okay. I was warned, wasn’t I?” she said. “That you would hurt me?”
Yes.
“My father thinks it would be better for me back in Montreal,” she told me. “He says that ‘the community here can’t accommodate my needs.’”
She repeated his words, feigning his deep, condescending voice, but fire coursed up my neck, and I was nervous.
Back to Montreal.
Away.
I’d never see her. What if she stayed there after high school?
If I didn’t think we should see each other, then we wouldn’t, but I didn’t like the choice being taken from me.
“What he really means is that I can’t afford to be a teenager,” she explained. “He thinks I’ll make mistakes and be hurt.”
Like how she stayed out last night, past curfew, and made them worry. Doing things everyone does, but the rules for her were stricter, because they didn’t think she could protect herself.
Had she ever made them worry before? Her father was using this an excuse to send her away. With both daughters gone, he wouldn’t have a reason to return home more frequently than necessary. For appearances’ sake.
She grew quiet, dropping her head a little and pleading, “Don’t let me go.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, my insides knotting so tightly.
I didn’t want to let her go.
“He’s in the city tonight,” she said. “And my mother flew to Spain today to visit Ari. I have the whole house to myself. All night.”
Oh, Jesus. My chest caved.
What the fuck?
It was everything I wanted.
Don’t do this to me.
She smirked. “Suddenly you have nothing to say?”
And I shook my head, more to myself than her.
She could be anyone.
I could get from anyone what I got from her.
I didn’t want her in my head.
I don’t want this. I wanted her to stay perfect.
She’d find out, and it would be over.
Don’t stay, I told myself. And don’t come back.
“We don’t have to talk,” she told me. “I’m going to go upstairs and take a shower. You might join me, and I’d want that. And afterward, I’m going to climb into my bed to sleep, and you might join me. I’d want that, too.” She closed her eyes, looking like her heart was breaking. “I just want you here or wherever I am.”
She walked slowly toward the doors, finding her way into the foyer, and I followed her, watching her climb the stairs up to the bathroom.
Nothing sounded better than nestling in the warmth of her and her bed tonight.