I left the shower, finding a washcloth and came back in, wetting it under the spray. Ringing out the water, I cleaned up the mess on her stomach, shaking my head at myself.
What the fuck? I came on her?
Jesus.
Once she was clean again, I rinsed the cloth, soaking it with warm water, and then folded it before laying it down against her skin between her legs.
I had no clue how she felt, but I’d gone at her pretty hard, and it was her first time.
“That feels good,” she said.
“Just hold it there.”
She laid there, doing as I said, and I stood under the spray rinsing myself off and wetting my hair.
I tried not to look at her, but I couldn’t stop myself. She was wet and naked and beautiful, and the only pure thing I’d ever had.
And, of course, I messed her all up.
“Why are you smiling?” I asked, noticing the curl to her lips.
“Shouldn’t I be smiling?”
Yeah, okay.
“This feels like the time I sat in a fountain once,” she told me. “The water spilled around us, shielding us. Hiding us. It was like a world within a world. One of my worst memories but also one of my best.”
I smoothed my wet hair over my head over and over again, that day like yesterday in my memory. If only she knew the boy she was with in the fountain was the boy who just fucked her.
Did she still hate him?
“Us?” I prodded.
I wanted to hear her talk about me. See what was still in her head. If time had healed anything.
But she just stayed quiet, not elaborating any further.
“So was that red?” she asked, changing the subject.
Red?
Oh, right. The night of the motorcycle ride. She wanted to know what red felt like.
I scoffed. “Maybe like orange.”
“Orange?” She looked appalled. “Can it at least be purple?”
I laughed under my breath, walking over to her and taking the wash cloth off of her. “Purple then.”
I helped her to her feet, so we could get her clean, and she found her way under the water wetting her hair.
“When can I see red?” she asked.
And I planted my hand on the wall, holding her face with the other one, as I stared down at her and saw all the shit that was going to eventu
ally hit the fucking fan.
When you find out who just fucked you, you’re gonna see plenty of red then.