I rubbed my face, trying to wake up. Fuck, I shouldn’t have eaten that meal last night. I had more energy when I ate less. “I told you, I don’t think he has any intention of signing it. He wanted access to The Pope, because he thinks Damon is there. He’s screwing with us.”
“What do I care what his plan is?” my father snapped. “He saddled this pony. Now he gets to ride it.”
Kai wasn’t signing the damn contract. I wasn’t sure what he wanted with me—I wasn’t even sure he knew—but I definitely understood Kai didn’t like doing things the wrong way. After what I heard last night, he would never marry someone he didn’t know and explain to his father that he’d just bound himself to Gabriel Torrance. My father and Kai’s didn’t cross paths often, and despite the fact that their sons were good friends once, Katsu and Gabriel fucking hated each other.
“Damon isn’t at The Pope, correct?” Gabriel asked.
I stood up and walked over to the window, peeling back the tattered shade to see that it was raining.
“Like I told you, I think he was at some point,” I said. “But he appears to be gone now.”
My brother, I was sure, had several hiding spots in the city. If he was at The Pope, he would’ve seen us coming in time to scram.
“You would tell me if he was calling you? Or if you’d seen him?” he pressed, a threat in his tone. I could tell he was nervous. Damon was a time bomb, and Gabriel was losing his grip on how to handle him. “I realize he has your loyalty, but I’m the one who pays you. You are only protected by my good graces, little girl. Remember that.”
I released the shade, my ire rising. “And your only hold on him is me. Remember that.”
I immediately closed my eyes, regretting my lip. Shit.
My father fell silent. I’d gotten mouthy with him once. And once was all it took for me to learn my place.
I took a deep breath, calming my tone. “I’m on board with you,” I assured him. “Don’t worry, and trust that I can determine the best way to do my job. I know Damon better than anyone. I will get him home.”
He didn’t say anything for a while, but I could hear voices in the background. Thank goodness I wasn’t standing in front of him right now. If I were, his options about how to handle my impudence wouldn’t be so limited.
But to my surprise, he simply released a sigh and said, “Fine.” And then he added, “You should’ve been born a boy. You’re the son Damon should’ve been.”
I just stood there, the weight on my shoulders so heavy. Part of me liked hearing that. That he wished my brother was more like me and not the other way around. It filled my heart with pride.
But I still wasn’t a boy. And I never would be. That’s all it boiled down to. What was between my legs.
And no matter what I did or how hard I worked, there would always be that.
&
nbsp; “Still, females aren’t completely useless,” he went on. “Kai likes you, so use what God gave you and get him to sign the contract. Don’t bother coming back until you do.”
And then he hung up.
I hit the Off button on my phone and tossed it into the sheets on the bed. Crossing my arms over my chest, I ground my teeth together, trying to find my fucking focus again.
I was so tired.
I should’ve just come home last night. I shouldn’t have gotten into his car or ate his food or let him tell me stupid fucking stories that made my stomach knot with things I shouldn’t feel.
What do I care that he likes mac and cheese, for Christ’s sake?
I ran my hand over the top of my head, pushing back the hairs that had come loose from my two French braids.
Dammit. I squeezed my eyes shut, groaning as I dug my nails into my scalp. The hair was suddenly so tight I just wanted to tear out the rubber bands and rip apart the braids. My head hurt. My skin burned. And my stomach ached with hunger, craving to be full again like it was last night.
I forced breaths in and out.
Where are you, Damon? We don’t have to live like this. Why did you leave me behind?
But I knew the answer. He left, because he knew I would wait. I always did.
The more Kai was in my days, though, the more confused I was becoming. He’d been so candid last night, reminiscing his old childhood apartment, but then his expression turned sad, recalling how his father had succeeded in becoming such a great man. He left so much unsaid. So much he didn’t really need to say, I guess.