I gulped down the water, so thirsty from more than just the exertion. Too much thinking and worrying and plotting. I’d needed this.
I missed all those nights, years ago, when I had a release. When I had friends to get lost with.
Her footsteps fell on the stairs, and I stared out the
window, the bright lights of Meridian City on the other side of the river glowing bright, a sharp contrast to the darkness of this side.
“I’ve absorbed everything you’ve taught me,” she said. “I trusted you, and I wasn’t taking it seriously. In the moment, if it ever happens again, I’ll handle it.”
“You should’ve handled it this time. What if it wasn’t me? What would’ve happened to you?”
I glanced down at her, seeing her pained eyes staring off out the window, and regret curled its way through my stomach. I hated seeing that look. Rika had been through enough, and I’d just shaken her again.
“I think you liked that,” she replied quietly, still staring out the window. “I think you enjoyed that.”
My heart skipped a beat, and I turned away from her, following her gaze out the window.
“If I did, I wouldn’t have stopped.”
She looked up at me, and I heard a car passing by below, its tires sloshing through the rain.
“You know, I watch you, too,” she told me. “You’re quiet, no one gets to see where you eat or sleep…”
I twisted the cap to the water bottle, the plastic container crackling in my fist. I knew what she was talking about. I knew I was distant.
But I had to keep everything inside or risk the wrong things slipping out. It was better this way.
And it was worse lately. Everything was fucked. She and Michael were so consumed with each other, and Will was only sober a few hours a day anymore. I’d been on my own more than ever.
“You’re like a machine.” She drew in a long breath. “Not like Damon. You’re unreadable.” She paused. “Except just now. Except when you’re wearing your mask. You liked it, didn’t you? It’s the only time I see you feel anything.”
I turned my head, softening my eyes. “You’re not with me all the time,” I joked.
I held her eyes for a moment, both us knowing exactly what I was talking about. She didn’t see me with women, and a slight blush crossed her cheeks. She gave me a half-smile, abandoning her line of questioning.
I cleared my throat, moving on. “You need to work on your counter-attacks,” I told her. “And your speed. If you stop, you give the attacker a chance to get a good hold on you.”
“I knew I was safe with you.”
“You aren’t,” I replied sternly. “Always assume danger. If anyone other than Michael grabs you, they get what they deserve anyway.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, and I could feel her aggravation. I understood it. She didn’t want to live her life always on guard. But she was barely taking basic safety precautions, and there was no limit to how sorry she was going to be taking the wrong chances. Michael wasn’t always around.
But when he was, at least he was with her. It had been weeks since I’d really talked to him.
“How is he?” I asked her.
She rolled her eyes, and I could tell the mood was shifting to something lighter. “He wants to fly off to Rio or somewhere to get married.”
“I thought you both decided to wait until after you were done with college.”
She nodded, sighing. “Yeah, I thought so, too.”
I narrowed my eyes on her. So, what was going on then?
Michael and Rika’s parents expected a wedding in Thunder Bay, and as far as I knew, the couple was fine with that. In fact, Michael had been very adamant about making a big deal out of it. He wanted to see her in a dress, walking down the aisle toward him. He grew up thinking she would marry his brother, after all. He intended to show everyone she was his.
And then it hit me.