The hint of fear in his eyes left, and he suddenly just stared at me like he was a machine. Like he wasn’t really there.
Like it wasn’t Damon anymore.
I sucked in a small gasp, paralyzed.
And then Kai was there. He stepped up, pushing me away, and gripped Damon by the wrist. “Let go,” he demanded. “Let her the fuck go, Damon.”
“We’re all yours,” she whispered to her son as if Kai wasn’t there. “I’ll take care of you, baby. I’ll make sure her sweet, little pussy is yours.”
“Shut up!” Kai shouted at her. “You sick bitch!” And then he turned to Damon who still held my eyes. “Look at me, man. Don’t look at her!”
He wouldn’t. No. He would never come at me like that. Not ever.
“Take her,” Natalya urged again.
And I cried. “Damon!” Wake up.
“Don’t look at her!” Kai bellowed, pushing at him.
“She’s a part of you,” his mother whispered like the taunt of a ghost. “She’ll make you strong. Take her.”
“Shut up!” Kai turned around and whipped his hand across her face, losing it.
And a breath caught in my throat as I watched her body whip around and land chest down on a round dining room table. Glasses clattered as they toppled over, the vase crashed to its side, and plates and silverware slid off the end as she jostled it.
But then I heard gasping and turned away from Natalya, looking at my brother. He hunched over, leaning on the back of a chair, and started dry-heaving with his head bowed as she spat and coughed.
I rushed over, still sobbing. “It’s okay.” I wrapped my arms around him from the side. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. Listen to my voice.”
He lurched, nothing coming up but spit as he struggled to inhale any air. I squeezed him tighter.
So many kids who suffer abuse don’t like to be touched, but when Damon was spiraling out, he couldn’t get close enough to me. Like he just wanted to crawl inside my head where he knew it was safe.
“She has no control over you.” I hugged him close, whispering into his damp neck. “We’re free. It’s just us.”
“It’s still inside me,” he choked out. “It hurts.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, crying harder. “Hold on to me. Just hold on to me.”
I knew what he wanted. What he needed. And I couldn’t deny him. Not tonight.
I opened my mouth and bit down on the skin between his neck and his shoulder. Wrapping my arms around him, I felt him grunt as I dug my teeth harder into his skin. His arms snaked around me, and he held on tight, keeping me close. If Kai looked, it would just look like we were hugging.
But he was still focused on Natalya, whom I couldn’t see behind my brother’s back.
It’s still inside of me. It. I didn’t know if he meant her or the terror and fright or something else. I just knew I felt so helpless.
Tears trickled down my face, tickling my skin and hanging over my soaked eyelashes.
“Harder,” he whispered.
I bit harder, tasting his salty skin and surrounded by the familiar scent of his cigarettes. He wouldn’t hurt me. He needed me.
He loved me.
I tasted copper, and I knew I’d broken the skin. He let out a breath and pulled back.
“Thank you,” he said and looked down at me, his usual eerie calm settling in over his body. “Are you okay?”