“You’re the girl I didn’t know, and we could be anyone in that confessional. Everything else fell away. Everything. We could hide and fuck with the world in that little room. It was just us.”
I closed my eyes, exhaustion seizing me.
All those years ago. That wasn’t really me, was it?
I relaxed into him, unable to find the will to fight.
I almost remember being her. Back when I still hoped there were possibilities. When I thought there was some way I could have him and have the fun things that normal girls had. When I let myself crave those stolen kisses and his eyes on me; imagining him wanting things a man wanted from a woman and wanting them from me.
My lungs burned, and I sucked in a breath, realizing I’d forgotten to breathe. God, all that need flooded back, washing over me and heating up my skin. I’d starved myself dry, and I suddenly felt like nothing but bones so weak I could break. I was so hungry.
I turned my head, meeting his gaze an inch from mine. His fingers relaxed in my hair, while I stared into his dark pools, my mind too foggy to think.
“Hold my eyes,” he said softly. “Just keep looking at me.”
I did. I just dived and surrendered and fell.
The confessional.
We were back in the confessional. We were younger, and it was no one but us. Tucked away, safe.
I was safe.
His hand between my legs started to move, rubbing back and forth so gentle and slow. “No one sees us,” he breathed out. “There’s no one but you and me. We’re invisible. We don’t exist.”
I nodded weakly, but my lids started to droop with the sensation of his caresses. Oh, God.
“Keep your eyes on me, baby,” he told me.
I blinked several times, refocusing as his hand drifted up, running over my stomach. His touch sent shivers down my arms, and I moaned, struggling to hold his eyes as his hand came to my breast. He cupped it, kneading so softly and taunting me.
I caught him glance at my chest, his mouth open and his gaze thick with hunger like he wanted what was in his hand in his mouth instead.
Licking my lips, I felt him move to my other breast, fondling the nipple until that one, too, had tightened into a pebble. Butterflies swarmed in my belly, and I started to feel the pulse in my clit throb, wanting his hand back there now.
His fingers dug lightly into my skin, running back down my torso and stomach, sending shocks out of every pore on my body as he grabbed me a little harder between the thighs this time.
I closed my eyes and arched my back, feeling his erection pulse under me. “Kai…”
Every touch, every breath heightened the weightlessness taking over my body. I was floating, the room was spinning, and I didn’t want to get off the ride.
Turning my head, I parted my lips, searching for his.
His teeth caught my bottom lip, dragging it out tauntingly.
“This is what it should’ve been,” he told me. “It wouldn’t have hurt so much if I’d gotten you ready first. I’m sorry. I should’ve gone slowly.”
Opening my eyes, I looked up at him. Instinct told me to bolt. Tuck back into my shell and stay in the darkness.
But I wasn’t Banks tonight. He wasn’t Kai, and we weren’t here. None of this was happening.
“So, go slow with me then,” I whispered.
He only hesitated a moment before sliding out from under me and laying me down on the bed. I immediately raised my arms to cover myself, a golf ball in my throat and my heart palpitating.
I wanted him, but I was still shy. No one had ever seen me naked.
Life had gotten a hell of lot more complicated in the last ten minutes.