I inched closer to Kai, the steam sitting like a cloth on my skin as he refused to look up.
“Why won’t you look at me?” I asked softly.
He breathed out a small laugh, looking nervous. “Because you’re the first woman I’ve said shit to since I got out, and I’m afraid…” His chest rose and fell faster, “I’m afraid I’ll want to touch you.”
I turned my head slowly, looking at Michael. Droplets sat on his chest, and his piercing eyes watched me as if waiting for what I was going to do next.
I faced Kai again, trying to catch his eyes. “Look at me.”
But he just shook his head and tried to veer around me. “I should get out of here.”
I put a hand up, touching his chest and stopping him. “I don’t want you to leave.”
His chest rose and fell under my palm, and his whole body was rigid as he continued to avoid my eyes.
I didn’t know what I was doing or how far this was going to go, but I knew Michael wouldn’t hold me back.
And I wasn’t so sure I wanted him to.
“Why are you doing this?” Kai finally raised his eyes, looking down at me.
“Because it feels right,” I told him. “Do you feel comfortable with me?”
He glanced at Michael who had inched closer to us, and then turned his eyes back on me. “Yeah.”
But he didn’t say anything else, and I wondered what he wouldn’t talk about? Where was the old Kai?
He looked so alone all the time, and tears lodged in my throat, because we’d all been changed forever. Michael had hated, because he couldn’t take being helpless. Kai had suffered, because his limits had been pushed, I’d gathered. And I had struggled to find out who I was and where I belonged for so long.
We’d all been so alone and so lost, wandering aimlessly, because none of us could admit that—not only were we not alone, but we couldn’t be happy alone. I needed Michael, Kai needed his friends, and Michael needed…
I wasn’t sure what he needed. But I knew he felt. He felt a lot, and I wanted that from him, and I wanted Kai to release everything that was holding him back, and I wanted the three of us to vent the
pain and frustration, because it had been bottled up inside of us for so damn long.
I reached out and wrapped my arms Kai’s neck.
Burying my face in his neck, I held back the tears pooling in my eyes as I pressed my body into his and hung onto him like I was the one that needed him.
“Touch me,” I whispered. “Please.”
I heard his heavy breathing, and the pulse in his neck throbbed against my lips. His skin smelled like the salt from the spas, and the wet heat of his body melted to mine as he slowly relaxed.
He swallowed, and then I felt his hands rest on my hips. He stayed still for a few moments, catching his breath, but then I felt his fingers spread out over my back, his fingertips digging into my skin, growing stronger and more urgent.
His touch lowered, his hands running down my ass, and I started to follow suit. My hands came down over his shoulders, gliding down his chest, feeling the smooth skin of his collarbone and the ridges of his abs and slim waist.
“Does this hurt?” he asked.
I brought my head up to look at him, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at Michael.
I twisted my head, seeing Michael’s mouth open a little, taking in quick, shallow breaths.
“Yeah,” he said in a low voice, his eyes meeting mine.
“But you like it,” I stated, feeling one of Kai’s hands trail up my belly between us. “You like the sting. It turns you on.”
Taking Kai’s hand, I hung onto him with one arm around his neck and pressed my forehead to his as I brought his hand up and put it on my bare breast.