“Right, to the happy couple.” We take a drink, and I avoid his gaze. I know he has a question on the tip of his tongue.
“So,” he says. “What is their deal, anyway?”
“Sophia and James?”
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “They seemed a little tense.”
“It’s just pre-wedding jitters,” I say, telling Brooks the same thing I’ve been telling myself. “They have high-pressure jobs and are really overwhelmed.”
His brows furrow as the waitress brings us our meal. “Seems like you’ve taken on a lot for them. It looks like they’re using you.”
I shake my head, knowing that’s not it at all. “I love to help. Especially after everything Sophia has done for me.”
He cocks his head to the side. “Like getting a free wedding planner?”
“I know she comes off a little… unfriendly, but her family has done so much for me over the years, and I will do anything to thank them.”
“What did they do?” Brooks asks.
I pick up a fry as I try to think of how to reply. “It’s kinda sad for Christmas.”
“Sorry,” he says, pulling back. “It’s not my place to ask.”
“It’s fine. I mean, everyone in town already knows. It’s no secret. When I was a senior in high school my parents died in a car crash. I had no family and so Sophia’s father took me in. She was my best friend.”
“I’m so sorry,” he says, reaching across the table, his hand on mine. “That’s so tragic.”
I smile softly, remembering my parents. “Yeah, my parents died on Christmas Eve. So...” I shake my head. “Planning the wedding has two motivations. One, helping my best friend who did so much for me, and two, it keeps me distracted at a tough time of year.”
“I’m sorry, Noelle. That’s really rough, you’ve been through hell.” His eyes search mine, and I feel his words deep in my heart.
“Have you lost anyone you love?” I ask.
He eyes darken and he runs his thumb over the skin of my hand. “Scout’s mom died in childbirth.”
“Oh, my god,” I say.
“Jill and I weren’t together, it was a one-time thing when she got pregnant, but we planned on raising Scout together. I’d been with her throughout the pregnancy, so even though we weren’t in love, we cared for one another deeply. We were going to be raising a daughter together, so it meant something to us. Losing her the same day as Scout entered the world… it changed me.”
“How?”
“No one ever asks me that,” he says. “I think they assume they know. That losing Jill that way made life more precious, more sacred. And it did — but also…” He pauses, runs a hand over his beard.
“A little scared of love?” I ask with his hand still on mine.
“Exactly. There are no guarantees. Now my heart’s cold.” He smirks. “I’ve gotten all jaded and bitter.”
I look down at our hands. Brooks doesn’t seem jaded to me. Maybe a little bit lonely and like he could use a hug. Or more.
“Well,” I tell him. “It looks like you love your daughter quite a lot, so your heart’s not completely black. And you love your parents if you were willing to fill in for your dad today.”
“Yeah, well, Scout needed her grandparents at Christmas. They just moved here this summer.”
I nod, taking a mother sip of beer. “That’s why I haven’t seen you.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “Would you have remembered?”
I smile. “I might have.” We begin eating our meal and I try to steady my beating heart. I never get this real and personal with people, so fast. But Brooks is different. He asks the right questions.
“So, you’ve gotta tell me,” he says as the waitress brings us another round. “What is the deal with the arbor? I saw the plans you gave my dad. They were particular.”
I sigh. “It’s super sentimental. And probably dumb.”
He frowns. “I don’t think anything you plan could be dumb.”
I laugh. “Except for practically pushing the happy couple off the mountain.”
He laughs. “It would have worked. It wouldn’t have been easy, but I can still build it if you really want.”
I shake my head. “No, it was wasted on James and Sophia anyways. They don’t care.”
“What was wasted?”
“The romance of it.” I lean over the table and rest my chin in my hand. “My dad proposed to my mom at that spot. Growing up, I always thought it was the most romantic thing in the world. Making promises at the top of a mountain.”
I expect Brooks to make a joke, but he doesn’t. “That’s really fucking sweet, Noelle.”
“You’re just saying that,” I say, brushing him off. I’ve never been good with compliments.
“No, I’m not. I love that you see the value in that. That you believe commitment matters. It does to me too. My parents have been happily married for thirty years. They had me the first year they got married and are the happiest couple I’ve ever met.”