Perfect.
A perfect Christmas morning.
For a perfect little life.
I give her a quick hug before turning to leave. I can’t see another house like this. A dozen houses of Christmas morning perfection are plenty.
Quiet mornings of couples in love. Newlyweds, with their six-month-old baby in their arms. An elderly couple with their grandchildren.
Door after door of holiday morning bliss. I can’t see any more of it. Because at this point, all I can see is a flurry of tears. A blizzard of tears; an onslaught of emotion.
Why the hell did I leave like that?
Everett didn’t offer me anything, but I had something I wanted to offer him.
I wanted to offer him my heart. My everything. I wanted to say screw it all, I’ll come and live in the mountains with you. I’ll pack my craft supplies and come up there and write my stupid blog.
He said I would make a good mother.
His words basically made my ovaries explode.
My heart clench.
My dreams materialize.
I want to be a mother. A wife. I want to be Everett’s.
And I should have told him that.
Now he’s gone. And I didn’t even give him an option of staying.
The truth is, I believe in love at first sight. I found it on top of Mistletoe Mountain.
I found it with Everett.
But I kept my feelings so close to my heart, and now, as I walk back to my house, all the wreaths delivered, I see nothing but the empty driveway.
I go inside my house, ready to start a self-loathing marathon. Ready to start chugging eggnog and eating pumpkin pie and wearing sweats until I start making New Year’s resolutions. Everett has destroyed me.
He’s certainly destroyed me from being satisfied with any other man ever again.
I walk to the bathroom, turning on the shower thinking about how Everett truly has destroyed me... and how he also rebuilt me.
When I was in his arms I felt so confident, so beautiful, so wanted. When I was in his arms I felt like I could make my life better, bigger, more whole.
When I was in his arms, I didn’t want to leave.
Tears fall down my face, and I discard the three-day-old clothes I’ve been wearing, grossed out by them and this stupid underwear. The stupid bra I took off for him. The stupid life I’m choosing.
I step into the shower, turning the water on steaming hot. I wash my hair so that the perfect pine scented smell of the mountain is gone from me.
I get dressed in leggings and thick socks and a massive sweater. I text my sister, “I can’t come over. I can’t explain. I’m just really tired.”
She, of course, angrily texts me back, saying, “It’s Christmas! Come over here or I’m coming to get you!
I roll my eyes and power off my phone. Then I grab a red blanket and wrap it around myself, burrowing into the couch with my iPad.
Maybe I can find some stupid Christmas movie to cheer me up.
But I scroll through Netflix for five seconds before giving up. I don’t want to watch other people be happy on Christmas morning.
This is so stupid. Everett is so stupid. What we had was real. And special.
Seren-fucking-dipity.
I don’t even have a phone number to call him with and tell him to come back here and fight for me. To tell him that I changed my mind. That I’m an idiot. That I want him even though I have no idea if he wants me in return.
But I can’t even drive to his house because I don’t have a car. Basically, I can do nothing but sit here in self-pity wishing I had done everything different.
My doorbell rings and I groan as I stand to answer it, knowing my sister is coming over here to drag me out of my lonely existence.
I’m growling at her before I even swing open the door. “I don’t want to come. I mean it.”
But the voice on the other side of the door is not my sister.
It’s my mountain man.
I pull open the door.
Everett is standing there. And he’s holding mistletoe above his head.Chapter SixteenThe moment I drove away from Evie’s house I knew I would be coming back to get her.
I drove around the city until I find a store that’s open, which takes a long-ass time, but I find one selling cheap, fake mistletoe in the floral department.
I grab it, fast as I can, and head back to her place. Of course, I run out of gas and get mildly lost.
But soon enough, I find Evie’s house again.
Fuck, I had no idea if she’d still be here or if she had gone to her sister’s and I’d be parked out in front of her house all night.
But I don’t truly give a shit.
I’m not going anywhere until I tell her everything.
She opens the door, even though I hear her telling me to go.