I hold her for a little while longer, then say, “The food came. Do you think you can eat?”
She nods, and it makes a smile tug at my lips.
“Okay.” I help her up before I rise to my feet. Framing her face, I raise it to me, and I wait until she lifts her eyes to mine. I see the fear and panic darkening her green irises. Leaning my forehead against hers, I whisper, “I won’t let anyone hurt you again.”MILAI feel rotten and depressed as I follow Jase out of his room. It feels like I’ve failed myself today. I so desperately wanted to be strong. I wanted to show Jase and my friends, I wasn’t going to let this thing beat me.
But it did beat me.
And the only place I could find any sort of comfort was in Jase’s closet. I needed to be surrounded by his scent.
I sit down at the island in the kitchen and watch as Jase plates our food. I don’t have any appetite, but not wanting to cause him any more worry than I already have, I know I’ll have to force it down.
He grabs two bottles of water then comes to sit next to me.
God, this is awful.
I hate that I fall apart the instant he leaves.
But I just can’t handle being alone.
I force a smile to my face. “Thanks for the food.”
“Sure.”
I cut a carrot in half and shove it into my mouth. It’s hard to chew and swallow, and I rinse it down with a sip of water.
I keep my eyes on my plate while I force all the dreadful emotions back into the furthest corner of my mind.
“It was nice of your grandparents to visit,” I mention before I spear a piece of cauliflower and bring it to my mouth.
“It was.”
I glance at Jase, and when I see he’s not eating but just staring at me, I ask, “Aren’t you going to eat?”
Jase rests his elbows on the granite surface and links his hands together. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”
I shrug and focus on cutting a piece of the steak. “It was just hard today.”
I don’t want to tell him about Rachel and Summer, because I know he’ll lose his shit. Jase can’t get rid of every student who whispers about me. I’ll just have to find a way to deal better with everything.
My broken spirit can’t bear a moment without Jase, but I still make the words leave my lips, “I think it will be better if you don’t walk me from class to class. I don’t want to draw more attention than I already have.”
My eyes dart up to his. He stares at me for a couple of seconds, then shakes his head. “I don’t care what anyone thinks, Mila.”
But I do.
I don’t want them thinking it was all an act to get Jase’s attention.
I can’t…
I take a deep breath, and for the first time, the aching stab in my ribs is welcomed. It gives me something to focus on. It’s real.
And then something uncanny happens. I remember Mrs. Reyes’ words.
‘Even if they whisper behind your back, don’t let it get to you. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, Mila. I kept reminding myself only the opinion of my loved ones mattered.’
I set my cutlery down and slowly lift my eyes back to Jase’s. Taking another deep breath, I let it out slowly, then ask, “Is this my fault? Was it because I had lunch with him?”
Anger tightens Jase’s features, and he turns his body toward me. Placing his hands on the sides of my stool, he turns me until my knees are between his. “Listen carefully to me.” My eyes never leave his as he bites the words out, “None of this is your fault, Mila. None. Of. It. Do you understand?”
I nod and struggle to swallow down the lump in my throat.
“How many times have we flirted?”
I shrug. “Fought. We’ve fought a lot.”
I was hoping to make him smile, but he remains dead serious. “And not once did I force myself on you.”
True.
My heart begins to speed up as Jase’s words get through to me.
“That fucker had no right to take what you refused to give.”
I nod, and a tired smile tugs at my mouth. “Thanks.”
“I want to hear you say it.”
Frowning, I ask, “What?”
“That it wasn’t your fault.”
I lower my eyes to Jase’s chest. “It wasn’t my fault.”
I shouldn’t have left the club.
“Look at me,” Jase says softly, his tone tender.
I clench my teeth together and force my eyes up to his.
There’s a gentle expression softening his features. “Now, say it like you believe it.”
I should’ve fought harder.
Jase lifts a hand to my cheek. “When I kissed you, you gave me shit for it, and you love me, Mila. This guy is nothing to you. Do you get it? He’s fucking nothing, and he had no right.”