At least you didn’t lose him. Count your blessings, Mila.
For a moment, I allow myself to cling to Jase as I force my love for him back into the deepest part of my heart.
He tightens his arms around me and whispers, “I’m sorry I lost control earlier.”
I nod against his shoulder, swallowing hard.
“And I do care for you. You’re one of my favorite people.”
I nod again, and pressing my lips together, I breathe deeply through my nose.
God, this hurts so much more than I thought it would.
Jase pulls back, and his eyes search over my face, then he asks, “You want to go have dinner? You didn’t eat earlier because I was an asshole.”
I let out a burst of air, and the chuckle sounds hopeless. Shaking my head, I point to my laptop. “I have work to finish.”
“Okay.” He hesitates again but then turns around and walks out of my room.
Why did he have to take my heart with him?Chapter 8JASEEven though I’ve spoken with Mila, everything keeps feeling like an epic clusterfuck.
It’s been three days since the explosion, and I’m nowhere near getting any clarity on my emotions. I can’t deny the attraction I feel for Mila, but damn, it’s just not enough.
‘Do you love her?’ my heart whispers.
“It’s not worth risking everything,” my mind warns.
I shut my eyes for a moment, and once again, I push the question to the farthest corner of my mind.
Fuck, this is hard.
“You okay?” Hunter asks, and it makes my eyes dart to him.
We’re supposed to be watching Jeopardy on TV and betting on the winner, but somewhere along the line, my mind returned to Mila.
I clear my throat before I answer, “Yeah, I’m just tired.”
Luckily it’s a believable lie seeing as we went out last night and only got back in the early hours of the morning.
It’s the first time Mila didn’t go with us because she spent the weekend at her parents’ place.
And she’s not back yet.
Getting up, I stretch out and say, “I’m going to bed. Catch you tomorrow.”
“Night,” Hunter answers, and then he reaches for Jade, where she’s asleep against his side so he can carry her to bed.
Walking down the hallway, I glance into Mila’s room, and the fact that she’s not in there bothers me.
Usually, I wouldn’t hesitate to message her to find out when she’ll be home.
Fuck, will we ever get back to the point where I will feel comfortable doing that?
Entering my room, I shut the door, and then I yank my shirt off and drop down on my bed. I close my eyes, and in the privacy of my personal space, I allow my thoughts to turn to Mila.
‘You’re willing to risk everything for them.’ My grandfather’s words echo through my mind.
Am I?
God, it’s such an impossible question to answer. I don’t know if I’ll be able to risk CRC Holdings for anyone. It will mean failing my family and closest friends.
Fuck.
I have my little sister, Carla, and my cousins’ futures to think of. There’s also Hana, Hunter, and his sister, Aria. The pressure of being the next CEO weighs so fucking heavy on me, it feels like I can’t breathe.
But somehow, my grandfather and father managed to serve the position well, and they got to be with the women they love.
It’s hard to separate Mila from my circle of friends. I’d die for any of them in a heartbeat, and yes, I love each one of them… but…
What’s the fucking difference between loving a friend and loving the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with? Because that’s the kind of love it will take for me to start a relationship with Mila. Nothing less.
She’s not just another girl I can randomly date. Not with the business ties between our families.
I punch the damn pillow and turn onto my side. I will my mind to shut down so I can get some sleep, but the questions keep whirling, and the emotions keep nagging for attention.
Mila’s gorgeous as fuck. She’s intelligent, and her sass is everything.
Yeah? But…
She fights me at every turn, and I love the challenge.
And? Is that enough?
Fuck, it feels like there’s some weird tango going on inside of me. One step forward, two steps back.
Yeah, I’d die for any of my friends, so I can’t use that as a measuring stick. I let out a frustrated growl as I keep trying to find the difference between loving a friend and being in love.
The attraction is definitely there, but that can’t be the only difference. Right?
Is she home yet?
I get up and go to check, and still seeing her door open with no sign of her, I begin to worry.
Fuck this.
I go back to my room, and grabbing my phone, I type out a text.
Jase: Are you okay? Will you be home tonight?