“But?”
“But… How do you know when you really love someone?”
Without missing a breath, Granddad answers, “You’re willing to risk everything for them. Remember what I taught you about being careful not to burn bridges?”
I nod, my drink forgotten in my hand.
“The West’s are one hell of a bridge to burn, son.”
“I know, Sir.”
He sits forward in the chair. “But if you’re unable to return Miss West’s love, and she holds it against you, I’m willing to make the sacrifice of losing their business for you.”
I glance up at the ceiling as his words sink in. He doesn’t say the words I love you a lot, but damn, he shows it every chance he gets.
I search through my chaotic emotions, then admit, “I don’t want to lose her, though. What do I do if I can’t be more than friends?”
“Then you be the best goddamn friend she’s ever had. You respect the love she’s given you. Just because she cares for you doesn’t mean your friendship is over, son.”
I nod, drinking in his advice like a man dying of thirst.
“It took nineteen years before I could be with Stephanie. Not once did I make her feel like she was less. Just respect Miss West for the amazing woman she is. You wouldn’t be sitting across from me if that was not the case.”
My attention returns to the chessboard as I nod. “You’re right. Thank you for the advice, Sir. I’ll do my best to salvage the friendship.”
He scoots forward and rubs his hands together. “Good, good. With that settled, I can now enjoy beating you again.”
As I continue to move pieces across the board, I try to sift through the emotions inside me, knowing I have to come to a conclusion soon, so I can save what’s left of my friendship with Mila.MILAAfter crying my eyes out, I went to shower, and now I’m keeping myself busy with my school work.
There’s a knock on my door, and thinking it’s Jade, I call out, “Come in.”
I finish typing the sentence I’m busy with before I glance up, and my eyes connect with Jase’s.
All the emotions I’ve managed to force down bubble back to the surface, and I suck in a deep breath.
He shuts the door but doesn’t come any closer. There’s a serious look on his face, which is rare, and I know it means nothing good.
“I managed to clear my head enough to realize one thing,” he begins.
It feels like we’re having a meeting. There’s no warmth of friendship.
Then he continues, “Your friendship means a lot to me but…”
My mom once told me whatever precedes a but is meaningless, and I scramble to steel myself for what’s to come.
“I don’t know if I’m willing to risk it to find out if there can be more between us.”
Not the sentence I expected.
I was expecting something along the lines that our friendship was unsalvageable. I let out the breath I’m holding. “So you would rather just remain friends,” I say to make sure I’m on the same page as Jase.
“Yes.” Then there’s a flash of indecisiveness on his face, and he adds, “I need to make sure what I feel for you isn’t just friendship, Mila. I can’t start something with you and not know for certain how I feel.”
“I understand.” I climb off the bed and ask, “How do we repair the damage done?”
“It doesn’t sound right…” he holds up a finger and begins to move closer to me. He stops a couple of steps away and continues, “but thank you for loving me.”
Oh, God.
Kill me now.
He must see the embarrassment on my face because he darts forward and takes hold of my hand. Holding it in both of his, he corrects himself, “I don’t mean it that way. Fuck.” He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, then says, “It means a lot to me, Mila. I want you to know I’ll watch myself around you, so I don’t hurt you unintentionally. I’ll never take your love for granted, and… I just need time to figure out my own emotions because...” he pulls an awkward face, “there’s an obvious attraction between us. I won’t deny that, but I just don’t want it to split our group right down the middle.”
Everything he says makes sense, and even though my chest is filled with disappointment, I have to face the fact that Jase is right.
The risk is too significant if he doesn’t love me back. It’s either everything or just friendship.
“So let’s just go back to being friends minus the flirting,” I offer.
“That would be great.” He hesitates for a moment, then asks, “Can I hug you.”
I force a smile to my face. “Of course, dumbass. Don’t start being weird around me now.”
When his arms wrap around me, I struggle to hold my tears of disappointment back but somehow manage.