I want to call him, to run to him, but I don’t have the courage.
Have I made the biggest mistake of my life, letting him go?
I was only trying to do the right thing, by everyone, but in the process, I’ve broken my own heart. I’ve always been so sure of myself, of my decisions. For the first time in my life, I have no clue what the right answer is.
For any of us.
The week ends and a new one begins. This is the week Lexi will be married. And it’s my job to be sure she has the time of her life.
Even if all I feel like doing is crying.
Friday night comes, the bachelorette party. I get dolled up in a short, silver sparkly dress. Do my hair even though within an hour it will be limp and sweaty in the club. I swipe on some mascara and give myself a nod in the mirror. “You’ve got this, Emmeline. It’s Lexi’s night. Focus on her.”
But as I walk through my living room, my gaze falls on Mr. Whiskers on the couch and it takes all of my resolve to walk to my front door when all I want to do is go put my pj’s on. As I’m grabbing the door handle, I hear the shouts and squeals that only an opened window limo full of girls can make.
I laugh, opening the door to reveal overdressed girls, their faces full of makeup, their hair full of hairspray, hanging out the windows of the car, calling for me. Wearing a sparkling crown and an I’m the Bride sash across her chest, Lexi stands on the seat, her upper body popped out of the open sunroof. She’s got a bottle of champagne in one hand, a glass in the other. “Come on, Emmeline. Let’s go!”
I lock the door and jog out to the limo best I can in my heels.
I open the car door, instantly hit by a cloud of perfume and hair products. Arms pull me in, dropping me into an open seat. Long, bare, silky legs and shiny high heels fill the back of the limo.
Miranda hands me a glass, and clinks hers to mine. “Cheers.”
The girls sing along to the radio, drinking and swaying all the way to the club.
The group gets pretty rowdy on the dance floor, creating a circle around Lexi.
Miranda and I find a quiet corner to chat.
We watch Lexi dance. “Is she going to be okay tomorrow? I don’t want her to get sick for her wedding.”
Miranda gives me a wink. “I made her switch to seltzer water an hour ago. She’s only had enough to get tipsy.”
Relief washes through me. “It must be nice to have a big sister looking out for you.” The words are out before I can filter them. Embarrassed, I take a sip of my coke.
“You grew up with your grandmother, right? Was it pretty lonely?”
“Yes. But it's fine because it got me to where I am today. If I hadn’t had the experience of taking care of my grandmother, I might never have known I was meant to be a doctor.”
“True. But still.” She bumps my shoulder giving me a smile. “It’s nice to have someone to talk to, and with everything going on right now with...well, you probably could use a friend. I’m all ears if you want to talk.”
Lexi’s been so busy with her wedding, I didn’t want to put a damper on her spirits by wallowing about my personal tragedies. And at work, well, we talk about work, not personal issues.
Rawley was the one person I went to when I needed to talk.
And now, he’s gone from my life.
I can’t help it, I can’t hold it back. The tears fill my eyes, great sobs racking my body, shaking my shoulders.
Miranda shows no alarm, just wraps her arm around me. “Let it out. Sometimes you just have to let it out.”
I cry on her shoulder until there are no tears left. Then, I wipe them away, clearing my throat. She hands me my coke and I finish it.
“Ready to talk?”
“Yes.” I dry my face with the napkin she hands me. “I, just...everything was going so perfectly, you know? I thought we were going to be together forever. Then…”
“Tiffany showed up?”
“Exactly.”
She takes a moment to think, twirling the stem of her wine glass in her fingers. “You know, sometimes these things have a way of working themselves out. Don’t give up on love, not yet.”
“But I know myself, and I don’t think I’m strong enough to get tangled in this mess.”
“You’re stronger than you know. And what really matters is, your love for Rawley is bigger than the problems you face. And if it is, then you’ll face those problems together, head on. And between the two of you, you’ll find the strength to make it through.”