I don’t have any furniture of my own, so I start the day booking my first viewing of an adorable duplex bungalow that comes complete with a couch, dining table, and queen-sized bed.
My hopes are high as I don my skinny jeans and purple tank top, tossing my purse over my shoulder. I’ve got first and last month’s rent as well as the pet deposit in cash—all money from those first two nights with Rawley—stuffed inside my bag, just in case I like this place and want to nab it before someone else does.
I drive my little red hatchback, singing along to the radio at the top of my lungs, following the directions on my phone. There it is. It’s even cuter in person. The exterior walls are painted a soft blue, with black shutters, and it has little wooden boxes hanging from the windows, filled with colorful flowers.
A primly-dressed realtor wearing a suit jacket too warm for the day waits for me on the front stoop. I’m not even late, but I catch her checking the time on her watch as I slide into the open parking spot out front.
I hop out of the car, waving to her. “Miss Jan? Hi, I’m Emmeline. I’m your ten o’clock.”
She greets me with a stiff handshake. “Pleasure to meet you. I’ll unlock the door and you can show yourself around. I like to let clients feel themselves in their space, unencumbered by me.” She swings the door open and I step inside.
It’s homey. Not home, of course, but over time I can make it my own. There’s pretty curtains in the windows, and the furniture looks to be in good shape. The honey-colored wood floors have recently been refinished and they shine under my shoes. The kitchen has yellow walls and white appliances and is super clean, and bright.
I step back out to the stoop, pulling the door closed behind me. “I’ll take it.”
Miss Jan’s eyes widen. “Just like that?”
I give a nod. “Yes. I love it. And I’ve already filled out the application, just in case, and I’ve got first and last and the pet deposit in cash. I’d like to secure it this morning.” I pull everything from my purse, handing it to her.
“You’ll have to move in soon… days, really.”
“Done.”
She gives me a look of wonder as she takes the bundle from my hand. “I like you. You’re a woman who knows what she wants and makes it happen. I’ll get this to my client. He’ll be thrilled to have it rented so soon after posting. I’ll give you a call to let you know when everything’s cleared and you can pick up the keys. The lease will begin in four weeks, at the first of next month.”
That’s just a few days before I start my residency. I shake her free hand. “Perfect.” I thank her and leave, taking a pic of the front of the house on my phone as I go.
My new home.
I hop in my car, cancelling the other appointments. I give the house one final glance as I pull away. Hopefully, Rawley will want to come here, too, sometimes. I’m not sure how Baskins and Mr. Whiskers are going to deal with being separated. The thought of them apart makes me sad, and I push the thought away.
Now, I just need to tell Rawley.
We never talked about moving in together, both of us knowing that me staying with him was just a temporary thing that kind of grew from a one night sleepover. Still, I kind of get the feeling he thinks I’m at his apartment for good.
But I’m not.
And now, I have to let him know.
I swallow that thought down, too, unsure of why I’m so apprehensive to tell him I’ve found a place.
I need to unpack this hang up I have about officially moving in with Rawley—not that he’s asked me or anything. Signing that lease today was a big decision, but moving in with someone I’m dating seems like a much bigger one.
And would be a risk.
I don’t want to make the same mistakes I’ve made in my past. It’s kinda like that saying, once burned, twice shy, only in my case, it’s once scorched, ten times terrified.
Working as an escort wasn’t the first time I shifted my morals to achieve my goals.
My grandmother made it to my college graduation before she passed away. Suffering from late stage cirrhosis, I knew her time was limited, and honestly, I think she somehow willed herself to hang on and make it to the ceremony that May.
I still believe it was sheer will and determination that kept her alive until she saw me walk across that stage.
She died three days later.
When she passed, I’d assumed the only thing I’d inherit from her was our precious cat, one we’d adopted together at the local shelter to celebrate my graduation. Looking back, I think she insisted we get Mr. Whiskers because she knew her time was short and she couldn’t bear the thought of me being alone.