“That’s all that matters, then. And I’ll drag in my brother, too. Introduce you to him. That all right?”
A big family breakfast. Though nervousness quakes through me, I nod. “I’ll call my sister, let her know the change of plan.”
“I’ll call my brother, too.” He angles his head, voice deepening. “Hey, Brandon! Wake up, you lazy fuck. We’re heading down to breakfast and to tell my woman and her sister all about werewolves.”
I can’t stop my giggle. “Really? That’s how you call him?”
“Yeah, really.”
And I guess I’ll do the same thing to Sam when she pulls into the parking lot. The balcony door’s still open. So when I hear her come, I’ll just head out there and tell her to meet us downstairs, instead.
“Your brother’s like you?”
“Not quite. A bear, not a wolf. Still hears me fine when he wants to.”
A bear. And not like me at all. Swallowing hard, I drop my overnight tote on the bed and pull out a change of clothes. “So he’s not cursed, either?”
Something in my voice must have told Ranger how much that word hurts me. All the amusement leaches from his expression and he regards me solemnly. “He isn’t.”
Not cursed. And I realize there’s only one question that really matters to me. “Can the curse be broken? Can I become human again?”
“No, baby,” he says softly, and even as agony shoots through my heart, he adds, “But you can tame your beast.”
Tame it? “What does that mean?”
“It means the curse doesn’t tear you apart anymore. You’ll be able to control yourself in your other form. And change at will, even on the full moon.”
Hope lifts through me. “You mean…I would never have to turn into that monster again?”
“I suppose if you don’t want to.” His eyes narrow slightly. “But changing’s not so bad. A lot of times, it’s damn fun.”
“Fun?” In sheer disbelief, I shake my head. I wouldn’t call it fun. I’d call it horrific. Agonizing. Yet I don’t think Ranger’s lying to me…so he must be talking about something else, some other kind of transformation. Because if he’s saying fun, then what he calls a werewolf and what I call a werewolf are two wildly different things. “Can you show me? Or do you have to—”
No no no nonono. Earlier, I wondered if I was dreaming. But I’m not dreaming.
Instead I’m in a nightmare.
Ranger’s not standing in front of me anymore. Only the monster who mauled me, a giant horror of fangs and claws and fur. Terror shreds me open, ripping a scream from my throat and tearing apart every rational thought, leaving only desperation.
I have to get away. Have to escape. Or it’s going to tear me into pieces again. And hurt me so bad.
Panic surges through my legs. I stumble over the bed, feet tangling in the loose blankets, shrieking as I fall. No, no. The thing looks like Ranger again, his face taut and the edges of his lips white with tension, but I cringe away from the hard body that suddenly comes so close, the big hands that hold me tight, because all I still see is the monster coming for me.
Then my own beast comes roaring up beneath my skin—protecting us, protecting me—but nothing the beast ever does protects me. Only rips me open more, delivering new agony that makes me scream and double over as my bones snap and muscles bulge and face splits spart, my skin stretching horrifically and it hurts, hurts, hurts.
“Alicia! Oh, baby, baby. No. You’re safe. You’re okay.” Ranger’s sooty voice. His wonderful smell. His strong grip on the back of my neck. “You’re safe here with me. I’ll never hurt you. I’ll never let anything hurt you.”
He can’t stop what’s hurting me. Nothing can. And I can’t respond as my mouth cracks wider into jaws, until the sound coming from them isn’t screaming but howling, and all pain. All agony.
“You’re safe, Alicia.” His breathing roughens and his face presses into my fur. His voice is thick and hoarse as he says, “And I’m so fucking sorry, baby. I didn’t realize I’d scare you.”
He didn’t scare me. What scared me wasn’t Ranger. I know that couldn’t have been him, even if he looked like the monster that tore me apart.
A monster like I am.
But the beast seems to take comfort in his voice, his touch—and she retreats, while I scream and scream as the excruciating agony of transforming back into human cracks me open and rips me apart all over again, leaving me a sobbing wreck on the floor.
And Ranger saw me. He saw what I am.
Mindless panic tears through me again. To get away. To never see how he looks at me now. Screaming, I lurch out of his grip for the open balcony door, leaping onto the railing and then down, down, landing in a crouch on the pavement and then sprinting away from the heartbreak that awaits me, as if running fast enough and far enough will stop it from ever catching up.