But about half an hour later when I watched her walk across the stage to accept a Golden Globe for the Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture Drama, I surged to my feet and felt almost as proud of her as I’d been of myself when I’d won my own.
I’d been to countless award ceremonies over the years. I’d been there when friends of mine had won and co-stars had won, and not once, while standing in the audience, did I feel the same surge of emotions.
It was damn unsettling . . . but not enough for me to ignore whatever it was that drew me to her.ThreeMorganIt took every last bit of my impulse control not to bite my nails, and the reason for my nerves had almost nothing to do with my nomination. No, the reason I was fighting the urge to destroy my manicured nails was my reaction to Gage Ryan.
I’d never run across him before, so it wasn’t like I could’ve offended him—at least, not to my knowledge. But the way he’d treated me felt hostile; as if I’d somehow pissed him off.
When the show threw to commercial, Allie turned and looked me over. “You’re fidgeting. Nerves?”
“Uh-huh.” I didn’t clarify that my nerves weren’t award related.
“You’ll be fine,” she said sweetly. “Once they call your name, the anxiety will fade away.”
My eyes darted toward Gage again, and my breath hitched when he winked at me. Feeling a blush spreading across my cheeks, I looked down and turned my face away. I wasn’t happy about my reaction to him at all. After spending the previous few hours doing a perfect impression of an iceberg, suddenly he was winking? It made no sense, and I found myself wondering whether he had a personality disorder. I’d never heard any stories about Gage displaying erratic behavior, nor had there been any press about it, and of course, there would have been, but his night-and-day attitude toward me was bizarre.
I stewed about it right up until the moment they announced my name as winner of the Golden Globe. I was in a daze as the room exploded in applause, and all of the people at my table stood. Rising from my seat, I ran my hands down the front of my violet gown and took a deep breath. I hugged Allie, shook Dane’s and Garrett’s hands, hugged Shaelyn, and then fell into Gloria’s arms as I whisper thanked her for forcing me to dig deep every single day to bring that role to life. It felt as though everything was happening at warp-speed. After saying a quick thanks to the other people at my table, I made my way up onto the stage as quickly as I could.
“Wow,” I said with a self-conscious laugh as I looked out at the audience. The pool of talent in front of me was unreal—DiCaprio, Pitt, Clooney—and, of course, Mr. Mixed Signals, Gage Ryan, who was on his feet applauding and smiling like he cared that I’d won. I looked away so I could focus on the task at hand.
“I never thought I would win tonight. The actresses in this category possess talents that leave me in awe. Every one of you is a winner in my book, and I am proud of the work each of us turned in. Women win when stories have depth, and that’s what we were all blessed to work with this year. I wouldn’t be standing here if it weren’t for two women. First, to Shaelyn Riordan, who found this incredible script. Nearly everyone in town passed on it because they didn’t think it had earning potential. She knew they were wrong, and her instincts were right. She brought the script to her husband, Garrett, who agreed that it needed to be made. They then took it to Gloria Garrison, who brilliantly brought the story to life while at the same time changing mine forever,” I explained, a little warble in my voice.
“Gloria, you’re pure class, the best example of what a woman with drive and ambition can achieve. I loved working for you, and I hope to do it again many times in the future. Your talent is surpassed only by the purity of your heart.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat as I watched Gloria dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. I knew that my win meant the world to her, and I was deeply touched by it.
“Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me on this journey, especially my parents who allowed me to reach for the stars. Mom, Dad, the next time I visit, I’m bringing this with me so that you can keep it on your mantle. It’s just as much yours as it is mine. Thank you to my best friend, Allie, for always having my back and for pushing me to take risks. Thanks to my agent, Dane Garrison, for taking me on. Thank you Garrett, for listening to your wife and agreeing to produce this movie. I’d also like to thank the incredible crew of the movie and, of course, the Hollywood Foreign Press. I’m more appreciative of this honor than I’ll ever be able to put into words. It means the world—thank you.”