Gone forever.
And the scariest part was I could feel it slipping away.
On top of that, I was left asking the question—why him? Why was I always drawn to what would clearly hurt me?
He edged in so close that our noses brushed, the scent of him invading my senses.
Clove and whiskey. Warmth and sex.
Dizziness spun.
“So yeah, you want me to go after whatever prick messed with you?” he rumbled, head angled low. “Make him pay the hard way? You’re right. I’d do it in a heartbeat. Say the word, and it’s done. I’m really good at destroying whatever I come into contact with. Whatever I touch.”
He reached out and ran a fingertip down the side of my face.
Chills tumbled down my spine.
“Question is, is it gonna be him or is it gonna be you?”ThreeLeifDo you believe in fate?
In destiny?
In that fairytale bullshit that everything happens for a reason?
Living each day thinkin’ every event, conversation, and person that passes through our lives has been set on that path long before we even know what direction we’re headed?
Carved in some proverbial stone eons before we were born?
All comin’ together for the greater good?
Fuck that.
If you asked me, our lives were nothing but a pile of rubble. Debris made up of the mistakes that we had made.
Every horrible choice another piece that carved and morphed us into something more and more appalling.
You disagree?
I had proof.
It was right there in the fact that I was going toe-to-toe with this girl who obviously came stumbling in here, nothing but a lost-fucking-soul desperate for reprieve.
Seeking sanctuary close to the clouds.
Way up close to the stars.
And she had the grave misfortune of running into me.
She blinked up at me with these intense, sable eyes. I didn’t know if it was the destitute belief shining in them or her fucking tight, sexy body that had gotten me hard the second I’d seen her fumble through the door.
Girl coming in here floating through these crazy-ass paintings that filled the room like some kind of gorgeous, fading vapor, wearing this whimsical white dress that had the power to leave me weak in the knees.
Wonder in her being and something sweetly seductive oozing from her soul.
I’d instantly wanted her.
To take her.
And I was really fuckin’ good at taking what wasn’t mine.
She’d let me. I knew that she would. Could feel her almost trembling with the kind of sorrow that could only be assuaged by letting go.
By completely getting lost.
But there was something about her that was stopping me.
She stared up at me, unsure, maybe disappointed.
“Is that what you want?” she demanded in that wispy voice. “To hurt me? I guess maybe I did stumble into the wrong room.” Her sweet brow curled in disgust, and her words whispered like regret through the dense air.
The chains that would forever bind me only cinched down tighter.
A warning.
Didn’t matter.
My arm was looping around her waist, tucking her close. Clearly, I wanted the pain.
Hers or mine, I didn’t know.
The bare skin of her back exposed by the drape in her dress scorched my arm.
It sent a shock of lust running rampant through my veins.
“Problem is all the things I’m wanting to do to you,” I murmured down at her. Straight up. Because I was betting this girl deserved the truth. “Pretty fuckin’ sure it would scar us both.”
Greed flash-fired.
A thunderbolt that struck in the middle of us.
Hot enough to torch this fucking ridiculous house. Leave it nothin’ but ash.
“And there’s no fucking good that could come of it.”
“Because you don’t want it or because you don’t deserve it?”
“Because I will ruin you.” The words were hard. Angry in their truth.
Sable eyes narrowed like she didn’t have the first clue what to make of me. “Why would you say that?”
“Because I’m already ruined, baby.”
We were swaying, swept up in this unstoppable dance that I never saw coming.
I hadn’t felt anything similar in three years.
Guilt clotted the flow of air to my too-tight lungs.
That realization right there should have been enough to send me hauling ass out those doors.
“I should walk away, shouldn’t I?” she whispered.
I gave her a tight nod.
She touched my chest.
Motherfucking flames.
“So what is this feeling that’s begging me to stay?”
“No doubt, it’s the exact same thing that is going to make me push you away.”
Otherwise I was going to have her pinned against the wall and ripping that dress the rest of the way from her body.
Using her up.
Feeding from all the soft sweetness I could smell radiating from her flesh.
Revulsion clenched my stomach.
No.
I’d never wanted to become who I had.
Had never wanted to be revered and respected in a way only brought about by brutality.
Had never wanted to be feared.
Had never wanted to be the bad guy.
Maybe the reality was that I’d never known how to be anything else.
Fated. Vile from the get go.