She fluttered her fingers over the top of my shoulder in some kind of tease as she passed by, heading back for the door.
“You say a word to him, Tamar,” I said through a hiss, close to stamping my foot. The last thing I needed was her playing matchmaker.
She touched her chest. “Who me?”
I scowled at her. “You’ve been trying to set me up since the second you and Lyrik got together. I don’t need your help. Besides, it’s not like he’d want anything to do with me.”
Was pretty sure he took one look at my kids and marked me as a foul line.
Do not cross at all costs.
Problem was, that was where I’d met him in the first place.
Out of bounds.
“You might not need my help, but you definitely need a little shove in the right direction.” She softened, the ribbing vanishing from her features. “And are you kidding me? You are gorgeous, Mia. Wonderful and beautiful and one of the best people I know. You deserve to be happy. To have every single good thing this world has to offer.”
I shook my head and headed to the closet where I was still unpacking my things. “Well, don’t worry, you get a good look at him, and you’ll see he is most definitely not the right direction.”
He was an out of control street bike flying down a dead-end street.
“Besides, don’t you think I have enough going on in my life that the last thing I should be doing is thinking about a man?”
I hadn’t even had time to mourn. Not fully. Not with this lingering fear that something was coming that I couldn’t perceive.
Her head tilted to the side. “I just . . . want to see you smile. See you truly happy. That’s all. It’s killing me that you’re going through all of this, and there’s nothing I can do.”
My smile was somber, fueled by gratitude and dampened by grief. “You’re wrong, Tamar. You already have. You’ve given us sanctuary. Safety and love. You have given us your home and your family.”
They were the ones who were there when everything felt helpless.
Hope lost.
Sorrow the conqueror.
Sadness flitted across her face. “I just wish—”
Greyson started shouting from his crib that was set up in the other room, cutting her off, “Momma. Need you! I up!”
Penny came in from the hall through the main door at the same time, softly singing her little brother’s name, as if she’d heard him calling, too.
My spirit throbbed.
Expanded and shifted.
And there was the fullness of my joy. The sound of my children. Because the truth was, I had no places left inside to be given or broken. No more risks to be taken.
They were my fulfillment.
My beginning and my completion.
And the only thing I should be focusing on right then was us.
On keeping my children safe.
Our family whole.
And once that bastard was caught, forever put behind bars, to finally focus on healing.
Tamar looked that way. “I love the sound of his little voice.” She shifted back to me. “We truly are glad you are here, Mia. I hope you know that.”
My wistful smile was real. “I do.”
“All right then . . . we’ll see you in a bit. I’m going to go finish up dinner. It should be ready at seven.”
“Are you sure I can’t help you?”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be helping me plenty this summer. Finish unpacking. Relax. And don’t forget we have a special guest joining us for dinner.”
With that, she exited with a wicked, knowing wink.
And I was left wondering how I was gonna survive this.* * *Oh, I wasn’t.
There was no way I was surviving this by any stretch of an overactive imagination.
I was going to succumb right there at the table.
Death by mortification.
Greyson cackled this riotous laugh while he banged the spoon that he’d used as a catapult to fling a wad of mashed potatoes and gravy across the formal dining table on the tray of his high chair.
It’d splatted on Leif’s tragically gorgeous face.
“Waif! I got you! I got you!” he sang while I squeezed my eyes closed for a beat and prayed when I opened them, this would be nothing but a bad dream.
Too bad I’d heard it said it was the worst dreams that came true.
Finally, I snapped myself out of the stupor.
There was no hiding from this one.
“Oh, God, I am so sorry,” I rushed.
Shocked annoyance blazed through Leif’s expression.
A firebolt.
His eyes blinking a thousand times like he was trying to make sense of what’d just happened.
His hand came up to swipe a bit of the mess from his nose with his fingertips. He held it out to study it. It was probably a really bad time to be noticing how big his hands were.
Too late.
His mouth curled into a sneer of disbelief.
Greyson might as well have thrown a flaming bag of poop on his face. I guessed we could all be lucky it wasn’t his diaper.