He glowered at her. He didn’t deserve her adoration. And the toxic baggage he’d been shouldering alone for years would wipe it out. She wouldn’t like him anywhere near as much once she knew. And that could only be a good thing. She might have claimed from the outset that she wouldn’t get hurt, but hormones would come into play. The gentle warmth in her eyes when she looked at him told him she was too soft towards him already. The truth would burn back any building tenderness she felt for him.
He could only hope the desire would still remain.
‘In my teens, I was even more arrogant that I am now.’ He laughed, mocking himself. ‘Of course I was. I could have almost any woman I wanted. It went to my head. Young, sexually adventurous... I didn’t think about the consequences. I was having too much fun, and I was arrogant enough to believe I could do anything. Have anything and anyone. I was totally spoilt and I thought I was invincible. Nothing bad could befall me.’
‘And then your father died.’
Those eyes deepened again in sympathy. But his sweet lover wasn’t as clever as she thought.
‘My hedonism killed my father,’ he said bluntly. ‘His death was my fault.’
‘It was a car accident.’
‘Caused by me. I got into trouble. Serious trouble.’
She drew in a sharp breath. ‘Gambling? Drugs?’
‘One of my lovers fell pregnant.’
Kassie’s mouth formed an ‘O’. ‘Did you love her?’
‘I was almost eighteen. She was nineteen. I thought I’d been careful. I was voracious, but I wasn’t stupid. But contraception isn’t infallible.’
He hadn’t answered her question.
‘We weren’t in a committed relationship. We weren’t exclusive.’
Her expression shadowed. ‘So what happened?’
‘She was in a panic, and frankly so was I. Her parents were traditional and she was scared.’
‘Was she a princess?’
‘Aristocratic. It wouldn’t have been the perfect match, but it could have been made acceptable.’
‘So it wasn’t a forbidden love story?’ She looked away from him.
‘Not for me, no.’ He sighed. ‘We slept together only a couple of times. For me it was only ever a couple of times with each woman.’
‘Tick one off and then move on to the next?’
‘Exactly.’ He sighed again. ‘She was in my party circle. I slept with most of the women in that group.’
‘How did I not know you’re really such a man whore?’
He looked ruefully at her. ‘I might’ve still been a schoolboy, but I was really good at sneaking around. I was good at lying to my security handlers. And it was a very small, select circle I was in. Everyone had a reputation to lose. Everyone was discreet.’
And amoral. He’d taken up every offer—and there had been many. In those days he’d devoted himself to nothing but hedonistic pleasure. His father had been absent and busy, his sister a kid in the palace nursery, and he’d thought he was invincible and entitled. He’d been an out-of-control brat.
‘So what happened when she got pregnant?’
He’d realised he’d screwed up and he had wanted to do the right thing. ‘I was going to propose to her. I phoned my father...we had a big fight. He wanted me to pursue a paternity test first. I was angry that he thought he knew more than I did. I wouldn’t listen to him. I wouldn’t come home.’
He’d been so arrogant, so determined to do what he thought was best and damn his father’s opinion.
Kassie’s eyes deepened. ‘So he came to see you?’
‘He didn’t usually drive himself, but in this instance... He was speeding...’ He closed his eyes so he couldn’t see the sympathy in hers. ‘He was killed on impact. They said he wouldn’t have felt a thing.’
He’d never got over the shock of the soldier knocking on his door.
‘It was completely my fault. I killed him.’ He was as guilty as if he’d pulled a damn trigger and shot him. ‘She wanted to press ahead with the wedding, but I felt I had to do what my father had wanted. I hated it that our last words had been so vicious. Doing that was the least that I owed him.’
He’d been devastated by what he’d done in defying his father’s wishes.
‘And what was that?’
‘A DNA test to determine paternity,’ he said grimly. ‘It turned out my father’s concerns were correct. I was not the baby’s father.’
Kassie paled. ‘She lied to you.’
‘She was scared,’ he said dismissively. ‘I guess she was going with the safest option.’
Kassie gazed at him, her expression softening. ‘You still defend her? Even though she betrayed you?’
‘It wasn’t like any of us were faithful. And she was young and under pressure.’
‘And you weren’t?’
He paused. He hadn’t told her this in order for her to pity him, but to push her away for her own good. But now there was a searching look in her eyes that he couldn’t withstand.
‘I was ripped apart,’ he muttered harshly. ‘I ruined everyth
ing and then I had to stand up for my coronation.’
He’d hated it. He’d known he didn’t deserve to hold his head up, let alone wear the heavy gold crown.
‘It was all hushed up, of course. No one was ever aware of the real reason why King Theodoros was out driving so fast along the coastal road that night.’
‘Oh, Giorgos.’ She cupped his face with a tender hand.
‘I am not the goddamn perfect King.’ He jerked free—he didn’t deserve such gentle handling. ‘Never was. Never will be. I am an arrogant, spoilt idiot who destroyed everything. I was out of control—a guy who was careless with other people’s emotions. I was the kind of predatory male you hate—one who liked to score women and didn’t give a damn about the mess he might leave behind.’
His skin was suddenly too tight for his body and his heartbeat too hard for his chest. But he saw what he’d wanted to see—the sensual light was still in her eyes.
He shook his head. ‘I’m a selfish bastard, Kassie. I’m not worth your time.’
He was a selfish, unscrupulous tyrant who’d manipulated her. Hell. He hadn’t even intended to. He’d thought his honesty would repel her. But now she was feeling sorry for him, when the last thing he deserved was anyone’s pity. But even in this bitter confession he gladly took the comfort of her body because he was so damn selfish. So unworthy. And too damn weak to resist.
‘Not true.’ Kassie wrapped her arms tight around his chest, holding him to her even as she felt him stiffen as if to pull away.
What he’d just told her was one of the saddest things she’d ever heard. Yet he still defended that young woman. He was still that protective, caring guy. No wonder he’d beaten himself up. No wonder he was so wary for Eleni.
‘You tried to do what you thought was right. And you’re not that out-of-control kid any more.’
He was far too controlled. And it made such sense now. He must have been so hurt—losing his father and then finding out his lover had lied to him.
‘What happened to her?’
‘She lives in the south of France,’ he answered mechanically. ‘She’s been married for the last six years. Two children now, I believe.’