‘Where will Luke and I be staying?’
To her relief he passed Luke back to her. ‘Follow me.’
It was going to take her days to find her way around this floating palace. She was hopelessly confused as she followed him up another flight of gleaming steps and along an extraordinarily wide corridor.
‘This is your suite,’ he said briskly. ‘A cabin for Luke has been prepared right next door.’
Emmy barely glanced into her space, but Luke’s stunned her. It was huge, with gorgeous curtains dressing the wide windows offering stunning views across the water. There was a cot set up already dressed in beautiful white linen. A mobile hung above it while other baby supplies were stacked neatly in the corner.
Once again the detailed preparation stretched her nerves. What did he want, really?
‘You got this ready quickly.’ She stepped back out to the corridor, almost bumping into Javier and flushing hotly at the near miss. ‘Where’s your room?’
‘I’m on the deck above.’
Javier sleeping on another level was reassuring, wasn’t it? Yet she had a sharp twinge of disappointment. She shook herself and forced her focus onto her little boy. She couldn’t believe the size of the cabins or that there could be this much space on a private yacht. She’d be sure to keep both her and Luke’s doors open through the night, because she’d never slept in a different room from her son. She tightened her hold on him without thinking and, at the change, Luke wriggled and began to fret.
‘He’s tired and hungry.’ She glanced at Javier defensively.
‘I suspect he might not be the only one.’ The faintest smile flashed on Javier’s face. ‘So let’s get you both fed.’
Emmy’s irritation bloomed. She was not some overtired, hungry toddler. ‘No, I’d like to unpack his things first.’
Javier drew an audible breath. ‘Fine.’
But to her chagrin, Javier didn’t leave, rather he went right into Luke’s cabin and sat down in the wide armchair.
‘Will you hold him while I do it?’ she asked.
Again there was that wariness in Javier’s eyes, but he answered coolly enough. ‘Of course.’
She handed Luke back to Javier, quickly finding Luke’s favourite toy so he could clutch it while she swiftly emptied the bag she’d packed.
Javier sat carefully holding Luke while intently watching her unload every item. ‘All these things are Luke’s. Where are your things?’
‘Still in the bag. I’ll unload the rest in my room later.’
‘That bag is nearly empty.’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t need much.’
‘You spend everything you have on him,’ Javier said flatly.
‘Of course.’ She flushed and concentrated on refolding Luke’s few clothes.
‘He’s bottle-fed?’ he asked after a moment.
She swallowed hard, feeling her defensiveness flare again. Was he going to criticise all her choices? ‘He’s starting solid foods now. I breastfed for as long as I could—’
‘I’m not judging,’ Javier said calmly. ‘I’m just understanding the process. If he takes a bottle, then it doesn’t need to be you who feeds him. I could do that.’ He looked at her. ‘You don’t think I’d want to feed my own child? Know how to soothe him when he’s unwell or unhappy?’
She stared at him. Did he really mean that? Did he want to be that involved? Stupidly the thought terrified her more.
‘Does he wake through the night?’ Javier asked.
‘Sometimes.’ She didn’t want to admit how demanding Luke could be, but the fact was he was a strong little boy with a healthy appetite and his curious mind was developing rapidly too, which meant he craved more stimulation.
‘A nanny could manage him for that.’
‘A nanny?’ Emmy stiffened. ‘I don’t need a nanny.’
‘You need some help. We both do.’
‘I haven’t up until this point.’ Her hackles lifted instantly as she feared this was the first step towards eliminating her.
‘Are you sure you want to argue this now, Emmy?’ he asked softly.
But a torrent of bitterness was rising within her. If he wanted to employ a nanny, then he didn’t really want to care for his son himself. So did he regard his son simply as an acquisition? Fears coalesced, sending her into a heightened state of confusion and defensiveness, and she lashed out. ‘This isn’t actually about Luke, is it? This is about you not being in control before. You not knowing he existed. You can’t stand that.’
Javier’s expression shuttered. ‘This is utterly and only about Luke and what’s best for him.’
‘And you think a nanny is best? Not his own parents?’
Something flickered in his eyes before he blinked it away. ‘I think his parents are important. Both of them.’ He gazed down at Luke’s head.
He said that with such fierce conviction Emmy wondered at it, but before she could ask why he felt that so strongly, he lifted his head and fixed her in place with that ruthlessly assessing stare of his.
‘But we need to be in the best frame of mind to be the best we can for him,’ he added. ‘Right now you need food and rest as much as he does. Come on.’ He hefted their small son in his arms and stood. ‘We’ll eat in the dining room.’
He exited the cabin so swiftly Emmy was left staring agape. Seriously? Was he just going to walk away from her concerns? From this conversation?
Her irritation brewing, she ran after him. The stunning superyacht stole her breath but at the same time stoked her anger. It was ludicrously indulgent. The gleaming marble, backlit gemstones, the polished silverware, the plush sofas and soft cushions and above all sheer size and space. Everything was so ornate and over the top it screamed obscene wealth. Even the discretion of the uniformed crew irritated her. They disappeared before she barely caught a glimpse of them—obviously well trained, well paid, well controlled. Had he led her to this formal dining room to intimidate her—to make her painfully aware of everything he had to offer and everything she didn’t? There was even a highchair for Luke already. Discomfort and fury mounting, she settled him into it and fastened the small belt.
‘I wasn’t sure of your tastes, or what time we’d get here, so I requested a small buffet,’ Javier said smoothly, preventing her from saying anything more again with sudden ‘top host’ manners. ‘Help yourself.’
She couldn’t bring herself to put anything on her plate despite the sudden watering of her mouth at the sumptuous array of freshly prepared, beautiful food. It had been a long time since she’d had anything more than a quick thrown-together comfort eat, but she selected some mashed plantain to put on Luke’s tray.
‘Stop the stiff-necked pride,’ he said, taking the seat next to the one she’d perched on and dispensing with the manners all over again. ‘Or I’ll feed you myself.’
‘I’m not very hungry,’ she lied and instantly hated herself for it. Since when was she so shrewish? But as she glanced around the room again, more of the same leaked out. ‘You don’t scare me with your display of wealth.’
‘Emmy.’ He calmly served himself a portion of fresh-cooked fish and fragrant rice. ‘We’re in this room purely for the privacy. I don’t want the world staring at us if we’re up on deck.’
Her pulse settled fractionally, but she was still tense. Luke, on the other hand, was delightedly experimenting with the snippets of food she’d put in front of him.
Javier was watching Luke with such naked fascination that Emmy felt badly about her exhausted, emotion-clouded judgement of only seconds ago. She wanted to smooth this awkwardness somehow, but before she could speak her stomach rumbled embarrassingly loudly. Javier’s eyebrows lifted and his mouth quirked. She shelved her pride and served herself. She almost moaned at her first bite of the seafood. She hadn’t had anything as delicious in a long while.
&nbs
p; She saw Javier’s smile broaden and decided to let him have the win. She did feel better.